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  1. #1
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    Default Where can my husband learn how to compromise??

    I have constant issues with my husband if he doesn't get his own way. For example, today, he said he wanted to go to the gym. He works from home so usually, when dd needs her nap, hubby will watch ds while I put dd to sleep. If he's not there, it gets really stressful as if dd is tired she'll hit and cry and ds won't stay by himself while I put her to bed, he'll come in and make noise and stop her sleeping. So, I asked dh to wait until dd had gone to sleep until he left for the gym. He cracked it, said I was being difficult, and then refused to speak to me nicely or do anything but lie in the couch in a sulk. I suggested he could try encouraging dd to go to bed with him and his response was to storm over to her with an angry voice telling her " that's it, you're going to bed". This scared her and caused her to start wailing. I got him to back off. I also suggested he could go to the gym but promise to keep his phoneme and come home if there was ww3 going on back here. But he just got mad about that too. I asked him if he had any suggestion but he refused and was nasty to me.

    Am i in the wrong here it does my husband need some serious help with negotiation and compromise? It happens all the time!!

  2. #2
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    I think your husband needs to grow up !

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    Hugs OP he sounds like a sulky spoiled brat.

    There was nothing wrong with asking him to help with your son while you settled your daughter. His reaction was nasty and juvenile.

    What planet is he on.

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    Sometimes people like this bank on other people being reasonable.

    Next time crack it right back at him and see how he likes them apples.

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    He needs to pull his head in. Needs a serious dose of reality. Man up and help your wife out. Hate hearing all this one sided parenting crap!!

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    He's a parent. That comes with parenting duties. Gym can wait. You are being much more patient than I would be in this situation.
    Next time this happens, just leave and go have a coffee somewhere. See how it feels when the shoe is on the other foot!

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    Sounds like this isn't just about not compromising, but an extreme sense of entitlement that the world revolves around him. Sorry, but it doesn't.

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  13. #8
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hi javic, I agree, what planet is he from/on? It is not unreasonable for one parent to ask for a little help with the children. He is being quite childish, and as for the sulking on the couch, and not speaking civilly with you, he just needs to put a dummy in his mouth and he could be three years old. I don't know what to suggest, but I would not allow such behaviour, not even once, and you are saying it happens all the time>!! You have more patience than me. Marie.

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    Thanks for your responses! Glad to know it's not me. I did have an awful temper in the past (due to insomnia/gluten) but getting mad just made for big fights in front of the kids with threats of divorce and the occasional throwing of something (by me). I am very proud that I am now able to control myself and be calm and reasonable.

    I considered walking out but I couldn't abandon my children with this angry person. Getting them to leave with me would have been an ordeal. I did demand dh left in the end but he refused.

    After i I wrote my initial post, I found dh asleep on the couch. Obviously, he must have been tired and grumpy and, like a toddler, has no awareness of himself. I'm hoping when he wakes he will also apologise.

    How can I draw the line on this behaviour? All I can think to do is threaten divorce! But that's just not realistic. I really don't want my kids to go through that. I want to find a solution.

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    Oh, and, to paint a clearer picture, he does do his fair share with the kids. He does as much as I do - but just cannot negotiate. We had similar issues about all kinds of stuff, from which route to take on a car trip, to whether or no to renovate. He just sulks, says "fine have it your way" and refuses to be civil.


 

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