Stemming from dd cutting a molar at 12 weeks. Prior to that she had really good night sleep- she would "sleep through" in the technical sense- she would be asleep by 9pm and them sleep until about 4am ish. All good.
But because she has gone through cutting two molars now, and I can only suppose that it is quite painful for her, she is really clingy and will only sleep either in the car, which up until now has been ok because we have been in the car a lot (but now with the boys finishing kinder and the Christmas shopping just about done there is no real need to travel much), or on me.
I can usually get her to sleep easily enough- on the breast. Now I personally believe that if babies were not meant to go to sleep on the breast, then breastmilk would not have sleep inducing properties. So I really have no issue with her using me as a sleep aide in that way.
But in the last few weeks she has become more and more attached to me, and will hardly let me put her down for a sleep. Again, fine when the boys are at kinder, not so cool when they are home, like they are right now. They're in the lounge, I'm stuck here with her on my shoulder in her bedroom. Not exactly great parenting.
At night she still sleeps in her bassinet in my room. Last night she was virtually in my arms all night. I would put her down. She would wake next sleep cycle. I would bring her into bed with me and sit upright (looots of cushions!) and doze. I would wake when my arms were tingly or my neck sore, put her down and the cycle would continue. I bought her into bed with me around 4am, and we both had better sleep. That can't be a permanent solution though, because dp is a shift worker- so 1. Heavy sleeper and 2. Not fair on him to have a baby in his bed when he needs sleep whenever he can get it.
I really just don't know what to do, or even what I want. I am torn between following through with my gentle approach, believing that in her own time she will need me less and less for sleep and that until that time I should do whatever it is that I need to to help her, or becoming a bit more of a hard*** and making her sleep in her own cot, damn the crying.
I guess the other issue here is that at just 4 moths old she is super attached to me and only me. Yesterday I could not put he down at all without screaming, whether she was asleep or awake. Makes doing chores a bit hard- washing, cooking, cleaning etc. so of course this sleep dependence stems from this attachment, and the attachment gems from me being the only permanence in her life. Her brothers go to kinder so they're irregular. Her father is gone some days, home some days, gone some nights etc so I couldn't even get a routine going where he can give her a bath or whatnot.
Yesterday she was sitting on my knee and he got out of bed to come see her. The whole time she kept turning around to me to make sure I was still there.
I don't know if I'm asking for help, for empathy or just a vent. Maybe I just want to know I'm not alone, but I do know that it does my head in just thinking about it!
Sorry about typos- on phone with baby in arms