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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersic View Post
    I force my child by saying here take this, this what you get for saying that word and you don't get to play until you eat it, he takes the spoon and eats it himself. My younger kids get the same with their veggies. It's forced because it's something they don't want to do but you make them do it anyway. Simple as that!

    I take the same approach with homework baths ect you must do it and until you do you don't get to leave the table to do what you want.

    My children are well mannered and well behaved kids, I'm always getting told how great they are and the fact that once told no we are doing this they except that that's the way it is and happily do as they are asked. My kids know they are safe and that I would do anything for them. I even forced my son to take ballet as his Physio suggested it as part of his therapy for his scholliosis, he didn't want to at first but I told he either does this or he doesn't get to play his favourite sport, he now loves it and asked if he could attend classes twice a week.
    I think most if us here are shocked by the chilli as I personally have never heard anyone ever doing that to a child , I don't agree with it as I think it teaches them that force is the way to behave , i would definitely suggest you not recommend it to other parents as yes I think DOCS would consider it a form of abuse , I'm not saying you abuse your child but by forcing a minor to ingest a substance ( food or otherwise ) that could potentially harm them is not what any health authority in this country would recommend

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  3. #42
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    Based on my experience as a parent to a very high energy 6 year old and as a primary teacher, when trying to discourage a negative behaviour (swearing/aggression) you need to explicitly explain the correct behaviour. It's easy to assume kids just know the right thing to do.

    In your son's case you need to repeatedly talk to him about what to do when he feels angry/frustrated - quite likely you'll even need to explain what these feelings are too. For example "You know when you really want something and mummy says no then you feel your face get hot and your body shaking, that's called getting angry . It's ok to get angry but it's not ok to yell at mum. Let's think of some other things to help us feel better."

    Consistency and repetition are key. Have this discussion more than once. You and his dad need to model the correct behaviour. Then each time you see the positive behaviour, praise him. "Son, I'm so proud to see you take 5 deep breaths just then instead of yelling".

    I'd love to say it is a quick fix but it's not. It takes lots of work, constantly being on the lookout for good behaviours to praise, staying calm yourself, but it works and it starts a dialogue that then opens up for discussion when a new challenging behaviour starts.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  5. #43
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    OP- you discipline your child however you want and do whatever works for you and your child. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise... good luck !

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  7. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    OP- you discipline your child however you want and do whatever works for you and your child. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise... good luck !
    Except those which protect those who can't protect themselves. It's not only parents business how they discipline their child in this country. Thank goodness.

    I also think in regards to discipline, if you wouldn't be happy with another person enforcing your style of discipline, then you should think twice about enforcing it yourself.

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  9. #45
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    If someone forced me to eat chili I would cry, and I'm a grown woman...poor kids I had my mouth washed out with soap and it is something I will never do to my children, I remember the fear so well.

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  11. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    Except those which protect those who can't protect themselves. It's not only parents business how they discipline their child in this country. Thank goodness.

    I also think in regards to discipline, if you wouldn't be happy with another person enforcing your style of discipline, then you should think twice about enforcing it yourself.
    I totally agree with this. When I accidentally swear my kids say that's chilli sauce mum. They get a spoon and put the sauce on and feed it to me. I hate chilli sauce but I take it if they catch me swearing. If is ok for them it ok for me.

  12. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by supersic View Post
    I totally agree with this. When I accidentally swear my kids say that's chilli sauce mum. They get a spoon and put the sauce on and feed it to me. I hate chilli sauce but I take it if they catch me swearing. If is ok for them it ok for me.
    So you're happy for teachers and others to feed your kids chilli sauce if they swear?

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  14. #48
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    Yes I would be. Like I said if it's good enough for them it's good enough for me.

    One thing that annoys me though is when a kid can punch another in the face and only be told "is that the way way we treat our friend" my son ended up bleeding and the other child was told to think about his actions and sit out for 10 minutes and asked if he wanted to say sorry.

    Maybe if more kids were held accountable for their actions we would live in a better society.

  15. #49
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    Oh.My.God

    I feel ill

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  17. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    OP- you discipline your child however you want and do whatever works for you and your child. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise... good luck !
    What a ridiculous thing to say. My goodness.

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