Based on my experience as a parent to a very high energy 6 year old and as a primary teacher, when trying to discourage a negative behaviour (swearing/aggression) you need to explicitly explain the correct behaviour. It's easy to assume kids just know the right thing to do.
In your son's case you need to repeatedly talk to him about what to do when he feels angry/frustrated - quite likely you'll even need to explain what these feelings are too. For example "You know when you really want something and mummy says no then you feel your face get hot and your body shaking, that's called getting angry . It's ok to get angry but it's not ok to yell at mum. Let's think of some other things to help us feel better."
Consistency and repetition are key. Have this discussion more than once. You and his dad need to model the correct behaviour. Then each time you see the positive behaviour, praise him. "Son, I'm so proud to see you take 5 deep breaths just then instead of yelling".
I'd love to say it is a quick fix but it's not. It takes lots of work, constantly being on the lookout for good behaviours to praise, staying calm yourself, but it works and it starts a dialogue that then opens up for discussion when a new challenging behaviour starts.
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OP- you discipline your child however you want and do whatever works for you and your child. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise... good luck !
I also think in regards to discipline, if you wouldn't be happy with another person enforcing your style of discipline, then you should think twice about enforcing it yourself.
If someone forced me to eat chili I would cry, and I'm a grown woman...poor kids I had my mouth washed out with soap and it is something I will never do to my children, I remember the fear so well.
Yes I would be. Like I said if it's good enough for them it's good enough for me.
One thing that annoys me though is when a kid can punch another in the face and only be told "is that the way way we treat our friend" my son ended up bleeding and the other child was told to think about his actions and sit out for 10 minutes and asked if he wanted to say sorry.
Maybe if more kids were held accountable for their actions we would live in a better society.
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