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  1. #11
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    About the washing out with soap - how is this against the law? (My boy EATS soap...) Does it depend on the soap? Homebrand is an offence but a soap-free-natural-food-based-bar is OK?

    I find some of the previous posters not very supportive of the OP who is clearly having a difficult time and needs help, which is why she's here. I find bub hub a HUGE help and turn to it regularly.

    Anyway, Sankee, that's just awful that he directs it at you with such anger, just awful, and it would break my heart if my boy did that to me. I hate that word. My boy's just one so I don't have any advice to offer, just sympathy.

    Ah and aggression can just come from too much energy and not knowing how to get it out appropriately. Not from soap. I know some lovely friends who told me of their four year old girl SPITTING in their faces in a red hot rage. The trigger I think was toothpaste.

    Edit: I'm reading Heather Shumaker's book at the moment, "It's OK NOT to share..."
    The book is mostly aimed at parents with pre-school kids aged 2-6ish, and there's a chapter in it about swearing. I haven't read it yet but perhaps you could get the book, or loan it out from the library and have a read. Might help.
    Last edited by debsch; 17-12-2013 at 08:00.

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  3. #12
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    Thanks for your support debsch ... because I too was finding the responses to my OP kind of negative and was trying to figure out a way to delete my post. I am just trying to find some options - none of which have worked so far. I am basically at my wits end trying to stop this foul language. Even a promise to Santa yesterday was not enough to deter. We never used raised voices at home and we've told him the word makes us sad and disappointed in his behaviour. Here's hoping he'll just grow out of it.

  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by debsch View Post
    About the washing out with soap - how is this against the law? (My boy EATS soap...) Does it depend on the soap? Homebrand is an offence but a soap-free-natural-food-based-bar is OK?
    I'm guessing its not so much the fact that the soap is in the mouth that is illegal but more so the fact that it is being forced on OP's son.

    OP I have a 3.5 year old, while he doesn't swear at us he can get quite aggressive if he is hungry or tired. I can't remember what you said you tried but I use time out when he won't do what he needs to. I just keep putting him back until he is ready to do it with me. With regards to the swearing I think your employees need to be told to clean up their language, it very much sounds like he is modelling someone's behaviour.

  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by debsch View Post
    About the washing out with soap - how is this against the law? (My boy EATS soap...) Does it depend on the soap? Homebrand is an offence but a soap-free-natural-food-based-bar is OK?

    I find some of the previous posters not very supportive of the OP who is clearly having a difficult time and needs help, which is why she's here. I find bub hub a HUGE help and turn to it regularly.

    Anyway, Sankee, that's just awful that he directs it at you with such anger, just awful, and it would break my heart if my boy did that to me. I hate that word. My boy's just one so I don't have any advice to offer, just sympathy.

    Ah and aggression can just come from too much energy and not knowing how to get it out appropriately. Not from soap. I know some lovely friends who told me of their four year old girl SPITTING in their faces in a red hot rage. The trigger I think was toothpaste.

    Edit: I'm reading Heather Shumaker's book at the moment, "It's OK NOT to share..."
    The book is mostly aimed at parents with pre-school kids aged 2-6ish, and there's a chapter in it about swearing. I haven't read it yet but perhaps you could get the book, or loan it out from the library and have a read. Might help.
    I think you need to look at the child protection laws in your state.

    Soap can make children very ill and vomit etc, it can induce diroreah and have terrible side effects. Your soap may be natural but most people's is not. Not only that it's illegal because its cruel and bizzare, I thought we knew better in this day and age.

    I don't think people should say nothing when they see a case of child abuse.

    This child is innocent. The child is screaming and swearing because he has seen it somewhere. Maybe he has behavioural issues too, we don't know.

    However the OP is welcome to come back and talk about the conflict in her home. I hope she is honest with herself about how she and her partner communicate with each other and the children. I have seen examples of lots of people with children who's parents are at their wits end, yet scream at their children and each other, smack the children and have a highly volatile environment and then wonder why their children aren't listening etc.

    i consider yelling and screaming at the children to be abuse too.

    I do hope the OP gets some help, she probably is overwhelmed. I hope her partner and her find new ways of communicating with their children and around them, so that they all feel happier.

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  7. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by sockstealingpoltergeist View Post
    I think you need to look at the child protection laws in your state.

    Soap can make children very ill and vomit etc, it can induce diroreah and have terrible side effects. Your soap may be natural but most people's is not. Not only that it's illegal because its cruel and bizzare, I thought we knew better in this day and age.

    I don't think people should say nothing when they see a case of child abuse.

    This child is innocent. The child is screaming and swearing because he has seen it somewhere. Maybe he has behavioural issues too, we don't know.

    However the OP is welcome to come back and talk about the conflict in her home. I hope she is honest with herself about how she and her partner communicate with each other and the children. I have seen examples of lots of people with children who's parents are at their wits end, yet scream at their children and each other, smack the children and have a highly volatile environment and then wonder why their children aren't listening etc.

    i consider yelling and screaming at the children to be abuse too.

    I do hope the OP gets some help, she probably is overwhelmed. I hope her partner and her find new ways of communicating with their children and around them, so that they all feel happier.
    Cruel and bizarre

    It sounds like more than hearing a few tradies swear if its coupled with severe aggression like you say OP.

  8. #16
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    How a parent disciplines their child is their business. The OP asked for advice not to be told she is abusing her child etc.... which IMO she isn't doing at all ....

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  10. #17
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    Last edited by Blackdomino1; 17-12-2013 at 14:04.

  11. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    How a parent disciplines their child is their business. The OP asked for advice not to be told she is abusing her child etc.... which IMO she isn't doing at all ....
    I agree. washing mouth out with soap, while archaic, isn't exactly the best approach for many reasons, but it isn't the worst thing that could happen either. At least OP is trying to stop this behaviour. I know many many others, unfortunately, that think it is funny and encourage swearing and aggressive behaviour.

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  13. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louise41 View Post
    How a parent disciplines their child is their business. The OP asked for advice not to be told she is abusing her child etc.... which IMO she isn't doing at all ....
    Soap in a childs mouth isn't discipline its abuse.

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  15. #20
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    I honestly feel for you OP, you came on here to seek help yet received a whole lot of criticism! Chin up love I'm sure your a great mum who doesn't abuse her child with continuos soap washings (once off big deal)
    Once upon a time that was the thing to do in schools, at home etc and all those children grew up to be the adults that are around today... Not so bad
    I agree bashing a child is definatly not on although I wouldn't agree that a once off of trying the soap wash is not child abuse!! Seriously what has the world come to!!
    I personally don't think I would do it myself but to turn around and belittle someone who is desperate for help on a forum who prides itself on being open minded and non judgemental I think we have failed her.

    My dd is only 11 months so I don't have much advise yet my 3yr old niece has been letting off the f bomb recently and ignoring has helped. Maybe try that??

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