About the washing out with soap - how is this against the law? (My boy EATS soap...) Does it depend on the soap? Homebrand is an offence but a soap-free-natural-food-based-bar is OK?
I find some of the previous posters not very supportive of the OP who is clearly having a difficult time and needs help, which is why she's here. I find bub hub a HUGE help and turn to it regularly.
Anyway, Sankee, that's just awful that he directs it at you with such anger, just awful, and it would break my heart if my boy did that to me. I hate that word. My boy's just one so I don't have any advice to offer, just sympathy.
Ah and aggression can just come from too much energy and not knowing how to get it out appropriately. Not from soap. I know some lovely friends who told me of their four year old girl SPITTING in their faces in a red hot rage. The trigger I think was toothpaste.
Edit: I'm reading Heather Shumaker's book at the moment, "It's OK NOT to share..."
The book is mostly aimed at parents with pre-school kids aged 2-6ish, and there's a chapter in it about swearing. I haven't read it yet but perhaps you could get the book, or loan it out from the library and have a read. Might help.