+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 10 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 98
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    153
    Thanks
    16
    Thanked
    40
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    I was a SAHM for about 8months after DD was born and now work 3 days a week. Most mums I know work part time, in my experience OP you're right - there's not many SAHMs around. I am 9wks pregnant with #2 and hoping to stay home for 12 months this time.

    I do enjoy being home but I don't think it's really something I want to do for the long-term. DD (and future bub) are my absolute first priority above all else - I guess the way I approach it is different to you. For me, having DD in daycare 3 days a week means she has a great time and learns heaps while I'm earning money to help provide her with a secure home and opportunities for the future. I am also working and studying because I suffered depression being a SAHM and working/studying really helps me.

    It always amazes me that when mothers go to work they are accused of having someone else raise their kids, but most men work and my DH would be highly offended if someone told him he wasn't raising DD!
    Love this post. While I am working my little DD all of 2 years is learning heaps interacting with peers. We are bilingual and I am impressed with her language development. She speaks English and the dialect we speak!! I am happy that she is a happy content child. Over the last two guilt ridden years I have learned that quality time is what matters not quantity.
    Besides I love my work I have spent over 10 years to be what I am. I like to believe I can balance both and be great at both jobs.

  2. #42
    TeamAwesome's Avatar
    TeamAwesome is offline No one's perfect, but everyone can be awesome.
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    The Awesomest place on earth of course
    Posts
    4,405
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    104
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I've been a SAHM for 9.5 years. I only have one child at home now and I keep being told I must have so much time on my hands now and I'm like what time I feel like I come home from school drop off then turn around and go back and pick them up again then it's homework, readers and dinner spending time together

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Posts
    3,431
    Thanks
    1,018
    Thanked
    2,081
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by lilyp View Post
    Yes I really love it too! I just didn't realise how few of us there were in our school community. It seems like looking after ones children is really secondary. I really noticed it too on our recent family holiday. I think we were the only family who didn't use a nanny 24/7!
    Don't forget there are all levels of caring for children. I know a couple of SAHMs, who have been for years who are at home, but don't do any enriching activities with their kids, they spend a lot of time in front of the TV. No helping out at the canteen or school. I also know mums who work a couple of days per week who spend lots of quality time with their children, take them to story time at the library, the park, swimming. They also find time to volunteer at school and help out with fundraisers. Don't assume that all mums who aren't home 24/7 view looking after kids as secondary to everything else.

    I hate putting titles on mums like SAHM and Working Mum. It doesn't make either superior over the other. All mums are different and put different amounts of energy into their children, whether they are home full time or not.

  4. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Clementine Grace For This Useful Post:

    LoCo  (18-12-2013),peanutmonkey  (18-12-2013),PinkPopsicle  (18-12-2013),Raising Leprechauns  (18-12-2013),rpie  (18-12-2013)

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,254
    Thanks
    19
    Thanked
    368
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks

  6. #45
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    977
    Thanks
    546
    Thanked
    343
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    This thread has made me feel like crying - granted that's not hard as I'm mid-pregnancy. I've been SAHM for 7 years and all of my friends work so I can relate to the OP feeling like she is in the minority. I can also see why some might be offended if they feel judged for working, which they shouldn't. I'm not sure it was meant that way. It's hard to feel like the only one doing/not doing something, I've unintentionally offended people on here before. It makes me feel sad that we are not all supporting each other. Or that we perceive a lack of support. I'm guilty of that, I feel judged for not working, I judge myself. I'm not even a SAHM by choice really. I am very lucky that I haven't needed to work but it's still not really my choice now. I've been out of work for so long now and with no family here finding suitable work that fits in with school/preschool has just not happened. I read an interesting book recently called the conflict. I didn't agree with much of what was written about motherhood but I definitely agreed that in some ways women are going backwards in real equality terms, e.g. working & SAHM guilt, the majority of childcare/household chores falling to the woman regardless of paid work. Women are not really united. We should be, though I think it's not always a real conflict but the internal pull between work and home that men (IMHO) don't have to the same degree. Something funny to kind of illustrate the difference - I was reading about groups of men in UK during recession who hadn't worked in a year or so. They were all just hanging out together in coffee shops. There was no sense that they should be keeping house running perfectly, they didn't seem to have the guilt that I experience on a rare occasion that I'd use spare time for just me! Like I'd never watch TV or read a book during the day - except maybe during MS or if related to house/study/kids… These men seem to be getting kids off to school and hanging out with each other - applying for the odd job but not obsessively trying to do their part - it was like they knew their role was to work, but without work available they didn't feel they needed to compensate by being amazing househusbands. Just my interpretation of this article I read.
    Sorry I'm rambling...
    This year I was supposed to be putting in some real effort to finding a job / working out what to do next year when DS goes to school. Now I am UTD again that has been stuffed up. I love my kids and honestly feel so lucky I got to spend first few years at home with them. But I hate housework/organisation etc and my brain is turning to mush. I'm sure my kids would be better off if I worked part-time. I'm totally losing my sense of identity. 7 years of no paid work is taking it's toll on me psychologically. We are doing ok financially, but I'd always worked, since I was 14 I had some job, often 2 jobs to save for things/travel etc. I don't like being so dependent. And I feel like in a sense (no offence to SAHM's) that I am not a good role model to my daughter. I've got a degree, a masters that I did part-time while working full-time, I've worked hard to get an education and now I can't organise my household. It feels like the wrong message, why encourage my daughter to study and find a career that she will give up to have kids?? I don't think that working mums judge SAHM's, but I think society has it's own ideas. I've taken too much time off to have kids to seriously expect to have a fulfilling career now. I know that's what people think, but at the same time I still have hope that somehow one day I will prove them wrong

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Freyamum For This Useful Post:

    twotrunks  (24-01-2014)

  8. #46
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    @ Freyamum I think you've done an amazing job.... 7 yrs wow! Well done. I've also been a SAHM for 5 yrs and can totally relate to everything you are saying. Iam grateful for the past 5 years and proud of my kids are but I am also slowly (and excitedly) planning my re entry back into the work force. I am grateful for being a SAHM and all the wonderful things it has brought my family but I'm not sure it was always the best decision for me at times. Sometimes I think that it was a huge sacrifice (career wise, mentally, emotionally) and I don't think for instance at the end of the day my children are really any better adjusted or any better off than working parents children are. If I were to fall pregnant again.. I'm not sure I'd make the same decision.

  9. #47
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    springfield lakes
    Posts
    1,995
    Thanks
    586
    Thanked
    509
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't really think the post was intended to offend even though I can see how it has. I took it more of family's that are on holiday with a full time nanny which does seem a little much to me, isn't holidays for family time?? But then again I don't know their circumstances either so who am I to say anything.

    I've been on both sides. After dd was born I had 6 months maternity leave before returning to work 2 days a week. After a month I decided I wasn't ready and took and extra year off to be with my baby then returned to work again 3 days a week, I felt it benefited both myself and dd. Now once again I'm a sahm to 3 yr old dd. I made the decision to stay home after we lost our baby at 21 weeks last October and when dp got a job that made it possible financially for me to be at home. I feel really blessed and lucky that I have this time to be at home with her as I learnt last year life is too short to miss out on that (just *my* feelings on the matter)

    In all honestly it's pretty cruisy, I do sit around doing nothing a lot of the day. But dd and I are so happy with our lifestyle. I think as long as your doing what's right for you and your family then that's all that matters, that's what makes you a good parent :-)

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #48
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    6,275
    Thanks
    809
    Thanked
    2,399
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I'm another sahm! Have been for almost 8 years now and it will stay that way until our youngest starts school (am currently 24 weeks pregnant with our 4th).


    Me + he = dd1 (July 07), dd2 (July 10), dd3 (August 13), dd4 (due may 14)

  11. #49
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    309
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    37
    Reviews
    0
    I am currently but not really by choice. I have 2 yr old twins, when they were 1 I went back to work 3 days a fortnight and my mum looked after them.

    We're moved to a small town, u could work at the shire office or IGA but I then I would need to put them in care, can't quite bring myself to do so. It is tricky being on 1 income.

    It's taking me a while to get used to it, especially as there isn't anything to do in the small town of 600.

  12. #50
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Location
    This place in the desert.....
    Posts
    2,213
    Thanks
    435
    Thanked
    294
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I am at the moment and I must admit while I love having the time home I really miss working.
    My work is really quiet at the moment so I'm resigning so that I can look for another job - I'm on extended mat leave.
    I got a message from a recruitment company today about a 10hr a day job! Which would be a huge adjustment but my son is so cruisy and loves being around other kids, he goes to the crèche at the gym 2 hours a day currently and screams when it's leaving time so I think he would be fine going into care fulltime straight off.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 17
    Last Post: 25-06-2013, 17:02
  2. For you SAHMs
    By loislane2010 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 131
    Last Post: 16-03-2013, 06:19

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Baby U & The Wiggles - Toilet Training Products
Toilet training can be a testing time but Baby U is there to assist you and your toddler with the daunting task of toilet training. With a range of products that can be used at home, on holidays or out & about.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!