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  1. #1
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    Default Freaking out about money - anyone been to a financial advisor?

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    Last edited by calicocat; 25-06-2014 at 21:57.

  2. #2
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    The obvious question is where is your DPs money going after he gets paid? You guys need to have a discussion on how you will manage money. My DH wages goes int my account and input some into savings and pay the bills each pay. Maybe suggest that. There is nothing more resentful than somebody not paying their way.


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

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    The obvious question is where is your DPs money going after he gets paid? You guys need to have a discussion on how you will manage money. My DH wages goes int my account and input some into savings and pay the bills each pay. Maybe suggest that. There is nothing more resentful than somebody not paying their way.


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)

  5. #4
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    I agree with previous poster you guys need to start talking money it can cause so many issues in a relationship if it isn't dealt with and festers into other areas of your life. It's especially important now that you have a child and some what of a reliance on his income coming into the family home. We have joint accounts and I do mange the money but we never question what each other buys as we are both adults and can talk about it first to see if it's in the budget or has to wait etc My husband has access to all accounts and knows our payments, cash flow and what we are working towards so he can't just stick his head in the sand and spend all his money.
    I know that this isn't the case for everyone and some like to have separate accounts and manage things independently of each other bit when one partner reduces income to look after kids the situation changes dramatically. Talk to him about in a constructive manner and try not to lay blame as he might just be totally unaware of how your feeling and may see sense in you getting a partnership /family finances approach happening in your home.

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)

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    Just be aware that with most financial planners and advisers that they are on commission to sell you certain financial products such as investment accounts and shares. They're not there to help you budget. Even your bank, although they might offer a 'service', are more interested in increasing their income from loan interest and account service fees.

    It sounds like budgeting help is more what you need - try Centrelink and other local government services for referrals to someone who can help. Some times charity places such as st vinnies have a budgetig expert.

    But I agree with above posters that it seems you and DP need to have a discussion about your money. As a suggestion, what about a joint account (but keeping your individual accounts for your pay etc) that you both deposit an equal amount of money into each week to cover rent, joint car payments and fuel, and a stock grocery list. I would also suggest a second joint account with the same bank that you each deposit a smaller amount each week as a savings plan together, to be spent on joint holidays or a house deposit (or both!).

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)

  9. #6
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    Please look at financial counselling rather than a financial advisor. Financial counselors are trained in budgeting and financial education, rather than the selling of finance products. Often they are available for free from local community health centres, or ngo's.

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  11. #7
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    I agree with PP. I don't think you need a financial planner, but rather, some budgeting help, perhaps with a mediator/ family member to sort out an plan that is acceptable to you both. I think your DH needs to be accountable to you about where the money is going, and I mean every dollar. A plan might include things like paying all bills/ rent first, then groceries, a small amount for entertainment and a bit into savings. All the best.

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)

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    Hugs op, my dh is also sh1t with money. It's so stressful isn't it??!!

    He would often rant and rave about how he "earns all this money and works so hard and what's the point, he never has any money!" He just could never see that he was the problem, he spends and spends and buys treats and crap toys and gifts for our girls all the time. They don't need presents for nothing and they don't even appreciate them!

    I opened a second bank account for him and I issued him with an allowance out of his pay, and that's his petrol, treats and presents money. Going out for lunch, dinner, anything extra has to be paid for out of his allowance.

    All the rest of the money I control. Rent, groceries, bills, car repayments, insurance, everything.

    I tried so many other ways with him, education and talking with him about money got us no where. He cannot see a bigger picture and was constantly allowing his direct debits to dishonour because there was no money in his account.

    It annoys the sh1t out of me that I have to treat him like a child. But I haven't found an alternative.

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)

  15. #9
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    https://www.moneysmart.gov.au/managi...al-counselling

    This page has various free financial counselling services listed.

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)

  17. #10
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    Financial planners cost a lot of money as well! (Well the ones I know of do - around $4500!!!)

    I agree with everyone else that you two need to talk about the financial situation. Money is the number one cause of tension in relationships.

    My DH is TERRIBLE with money. He will pay some bills, have nothing left, therefore other bills get overdue by the time he has the money to pay them. Vicious cycle.

    About two years before we got married I had a big talk with him and "offered" to do the finances for us instead.

    We still keep our separate accounts, but I am the one with the passwords. (I changed his straight away). I give him a weekly amount and he just asks if he needs more. I take each salary and split it into:

    - bills
    - credit cards
    - long term savings (in a third account)
    - current savings
    - weekly cash x 2 for both of us

    Good luck with the talk and I hope you two can find a happy solution. x

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    calicocat  (16-12-2013)


 

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