I don't even know what to write as it hurts too much to admit -again. I'm seven weeks pregnant with my third bub- I should be bouncing off the walls perhaps- but I feel unhappy, emotional, stressed, lifeless and in a confused state of anger and sadness. I'm think I'm totally depressed... And I have been hoping this mood would lift but it hasn't. This isn't the first time for me though.. But it hurts just as much to admit and even though I have been through this before I feel even more stupid this time around. I was diagnosed with post and undiagnosed prenatal anxiety and depression second bub around- slowly with antidepressants and counselling I fought back into life and was happier than I ever felt in years. So a few months before we became pregnant this time I thought I would get prepared this time around. I saw my doc he referred me to a psychiatrist she weaned me off my antidepressants my counsellor was happy- all was looking good. Just seven weeks in and I'm feeling the same feeling of isolation, inability to express my feelings to my loved ones and sense of regret and fear about bringing a new life into the world with a mum who feels so sad. It's completely devastating as in my head I know I should be able to curtail these feelings- far out the psychiatrist thought I was so ready- in ny head im remenbering what the pschiatrist said to do when i feel like this but in my heart I'm withdrawing again and feeling so alone and helpless. I'm scared that I have failed again- everyone had faith I would be ok this time- i did too. I feel like im failing and i cant fail my children by being a withdrawn mum for the bext nine months. I love my children so much and so wanted another baby but the thought of nine months of this makes me want to run.