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  1. #1
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    Default Is my friend being petty & will things change when I announce my pregnancy?

    I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my first after ivf. DH & I are over the moon! We have only told our parents & siblings so far & don't plan on telling anyone else until after the 12 week scan.

    I've had to cancel on people a couple of times due to pregnancy stuff - I started throwing up, or got a massive migrane etc. People are being really immature about it & getting really angry at me for cancelling, to the extent of being rude about it. I'm feeling a little hurt & I was wondering if people are going to continue to act like this once I announce my pregnancy? I have no idea why some people are so immature sometimes. We are all adults, people cancelling/not being able to make it is a fact of life. Why am I made to feel guilty simply because I'm pregnant?
    Last edited by heartstringz; 14-12-2013 at 16:50.

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    You might find that she'll be more understanding once you announce you're pregnant. When you tell her, you can say something like "so that's why I couldn't come that day" etc so she'll know that you did actually have a legitimate reason rather than just bailing because you didn't feel like making the effort.

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    Quote Originally Posted by TaylorMade View Post
    You might find that she'll be more understanding once you announce you're pregnant. When you tell her, you can say something like "so that's why I couldn't come that day" etc so she'll know that you did actually have a legitimate reason rather than just bailing because you didn't feel like making the effort.
    I completely agree. You might find she actually feels bad too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by heartstringz View Post
    I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my first after ivf. DH & I are over the moon! We have only told our parents & siblings so far & don't plan on telling anyone else until after the 12 week scan.

    I've had to cancel on people a couple of times due to pregnancy stuff - I started throwing up, or got a massive migrane etc. People are being really immature about it & getting really angry at me for cancelling, to the extent of being rude about it. I'm feeling a little hurt & I was wondering if people are going to continue to act like this once I announce my pregnancy? I have no idea why some people are so immature sometimes. We are all adults, people cancelling/not being able to make it is a fact of life. Why am I made to feel guilty simply because I'm pregnant?
    If people are getting angry because you cancel chances are it will continue even after you announce your pregnancy. The only reason I can see them being different is if you haven't given them a reason up until now.

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    Have you been giving a reason for cancelling eg. have been throwing up all morning can't make lunch sorry or just cancelling with no explanation?

    If you've been cancelling with no explanation then yeah thats a bit rude on your part.

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    But they don't know you're pregnant so they're not making you feel guilty. It may or may not change when you announce it, I guess it depends on what the situation is that you are cancelling. I still get annoyed when people cancel on the morning of my kids birthday parties, it's human nature to be disappointed when people cancel.

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    First of all, congrats !!

    I wouldn't be too concerned, they will be fine. If they're not, then you deserve better friends. I'd only be cranky if someone said they were coming but then didn't show. Even then, I would only be a bit cranky but not dwell on it for too long, I usually expect a few won't show when they say they will. You did the right thing by telling them you had to cancel. Don't feel bad, you did what's best for you & that's what's most important right now Good luck !!

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    I've been telling them I'm sick - I definitely wouldn't cancel without giving a reason.

    Hopefully they will be more understanding when we can tell them why.

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    It sounds like your friend is really struggling with lack of contact/catch ups etc with her old friends from your side of town which is probably making her sensitive to you cancelling twice and possibly over reacting a little. If she's never struggled with pregnancy symptoms then it's like that she'll be more understanding once she knows.

    If I were you I would call/mesaage that you miss her heaps, sad that you couldn't make the night out, that you have a couple of frantic weeks ahead but would love to catch up on x day (a few days after your scan) at y place (somewhere close to transport at a reasonable hour). That way she sees you making an effort to maintain the friendship as well plus you get to tell her in person.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Cancelling twice, your friend is being petty. Pregnant or not I would have a low tolerance for a friend being rude to me for cancelling twice. Stuff happens, it's life and being rude to a friend when they've cancelled is petty.

    However a continued pattern of cancelling is different and would get on my goat and leave me feeling confused and hurt.


 

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