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  1. #1
    lexim's Avatar
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    Default Punishment for biting.

    My 4 year old ds just bit my 10 month old ds.

    He has never bitten ever in his life, he's a gentle kid and he's never even hit his little brother.
    he gets angry when ds2 disrupts his game but doesn't ever hurt him.

    He got bitten at day care the other day by this little boy who's pretty rough.

    So I didn't see it happen but I heard ds2 cry out in the toyroom and I went in there to see what happened and Ds1 just said he wanted to play with Mack (the truck) and ds2 was trying to get it so I gave ds2 another toy and both where happy.

    Just now as I was cleaning up ds2 from morning tea (about 45mins later) I noticed I bright red bite mark on his arm. I immediately turned to ds1 and asked if he did it and he hid under the table. I asked what happened and he said he wanted the Mack toy and billy kept taking it so he bit him.

    I raised my voice and said it was very naughty and put him in the corner for the allocated 4 mins whilst I fussed over ds2.
    Then I went up to ds1 and showed him ds2 arm and how it was red and told him how it hurt him. I asked him to say sorry and kiss it better which he did.
    I asked him how he felt when the other boy bit him and if it hurt and he said it did. And I told him that's how ds2 felt when he bit him.
    I told him that we should never bite people and I never want to see him doing it again to which he replied "I'll never do it again, I promise"
    He just got a remote control tractor for his birthday and I told him it was going in daddy's office and he wasn't allowed to play with it today. I explained it was because he it his brother. ( I told him as I was putting him in the corner that he wasn't allowed to play with it today but 'reminded' him afterwards )

    I just felt I use the corner for things like not listening, talking rudely and other 'minor' naught behaviour and I just thought this was so much worse so I needed another thing to remind him how wrong it was.
    We don't smack.

    Do you think I dealt with this ok? Was the tractor to much? What could I have done?

    He's just never done it before so I just wasn't sure how to handle it. Obviously he is mimicking what happened to him.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.

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    I think you handled it pretty well.

    He knows the naughty corner is for when he is naughty. And biting falls into that category. Plus, as a further consequence, you took his toy away. Plus plus, since he has recently been bitten it was good to bring that up.

    So yes, that's pretty much how I would handle it.

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    I think you were spot on!

  4. #4
    lexim's Avatar
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    Thank you. Sometimes I just second guess myself!


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to lexim For This Useful Post:

    bpac  (13-12-2013),dancingchipmunk  (13-12-2013)

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    good on you for what you did

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    Sounds like you handled that beautifully. Consequences and an explanation to help understand why, plus making a connection to his experience to help feel compassion and empathy, and seems he responded well. Well done mum. Hope I have this much composure and clarity at that age, we've just crept to terrible two a few months early , already second guessing myself! Gone from not rising my voice to now having yelled four times in two days, it feels useless, she keeps doing what ever it is and laughs. !! ...

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    I think you handled it really well the one thing I would add is to have talked about strategies for dealing with his little brother taking his things. I find they use force because they know it gets the result they want! When my DS gets frustrated with his little sister mucking up his games I remind him what he needs to do- either move his game where she can't reach (dining table or in his room with the door closed) or say 'no, DD, stop!' Loudly so I or DP can come an intervene, or try giving her something else to play with. It works really well because instead of staying frustrated and lashing out, he knows how to deal with the situation himself without resorting to violence!

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  10. #8
    lexim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer1 View Post
    Sounds like you handled that beautifully. Consequences and an explanation to help understand why, plus making a connection to his experience to help feel compassion and empathy, and seems he responded well. Well done mum. Hope I have this much composure and clarity at that age, we've just crept to terrible two a few months early , already second guessing myself! Gone from not rising my voice to now having yelled four times in two days, it feels useless, she keeps doing what ever it is and laughs. !! ...
    Oh gosh that us such a difficult age because they really just don't get it. I was always second guessing myself then. I had some no so proud mummy moments during that stage. It's always so hard. You never know if your doing the right thing.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.

  11. #9
    lexim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I think you handled it really well the one thing I would add is to have talked about strategies for dealing with his little brother taking his things. I find they use force because they know it gets the result they want! When my DS gets frustrated with his little sister mucking up his games I remind him what he needs to do- either move his game where she can't reach (dining table or in his room with the door closed) or say 'no, DD, stop!' Loudly so I or DP can come an intervene, or try giving her something else to play with. It works really well because instead of staying frustrated and lashing out, he knows how to deal with the situation himself without resorting to violence!
    Thank you

    I usually tell him to move his game up onto the couch or I'll try and give ds2 something else but It's so difficult because ds2 just wants to be with ds1 all the time. Normally he yells out "no billy' so that's why I was just confused at him lashing out.
    I might keep encouraging him to say 'no billy' or call out to me and respond positively to that rather than saying things along the line of 'he's just a baby' ' he just wants to play with you' etc so he knows what he is doing is appropriate
    I think I'll teach him to say 'no billy, stop' like you suggested


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.
    Last edited by lexim; 13-12-2013 at 14:29.

  12. #10
    lexim's Avatar
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    Oops quoted my own post


 

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