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  1. #41
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    Yes I think he has a problem. No I don't think that is acceptable.
    Did you think having a baby was going to make him grow up? Particularly when it wasn't a planned pregnancy?
    The job issue is a MASSIVE problem- he isn't providing for you and doing EVERYTHING he can to look after his family. People job hunt while they are employed.
    Being a loving and caring partner just most of the time would be a deal breaker for me.

  2. #42
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    I think once a week is acceptable for people to get out, relax, let their hair down, have time out, but not to get blind drunk and take a whole day to recover. Not acceptable!

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  4. #43
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    Sounds like he's living it up..
    Not working, getting smashed often, wife looks after the kid and wife will go back to work if he doesnt find a job that he likes.

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  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by misho View Post
    Sounds like he's living it up..
    Not working, getting smashed often, wife looks after the kid and wife will go back to work if he doesnt find a job that he likes.
    I was thinking that too. No job, wife does everything and wife will go back to work to support him. He gets to get drunk all the time. He doesn't have much reason to change.

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  8. #45
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    I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment. He has agreed to drink less and definitely to not expose DD to it. He is very actively job hunting.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  10. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by changethestars View Post
    I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment. He has agreed to drink less and definitely to not expose DD to it. He is very actively job hunting.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    OP I'm glad to hear you have spoken about it, just make sure he sticks to his word...

    Hope it all works out for you


    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #47
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    My father used to drink excessively when I was growing up. Actually he still does but I don't see it anymore (as I don't live at home anymore obviously).

    I have SO many childhood memories of him drinking, vomiting, playing LOUD music until the early hours. I used to cry myself to sleep and be terrified. My mum even used to wake me up to search the paddock next door with her with a torch for his wallet when he lost it.

    This lead me to having a very abnormal (?) relationship with my father and I moved out the day after my HSC exams finished. I could have very easily seen this as 'normal' and continues this binge drinking/alcoholic behaviour myself but I saw how disgusting he looked/smelt/talked that I hardly ever drink. I will never ever expose my children to this kind of behaviour ever.

    OP your dd WILL remember this. It will affect her in more ways you can imagine. I implore you to stop this from happening. If not for the sake if your child but for you, your relationship and the health of your DH.

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  13. #48
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    My dh was exactly the same. He was self medicating for depression and anxiety (as well as being on anti anxiety medication)... It took him hitting rock bottom and self harming, then missing out on us going out to pick up a puppy the next day (that the boys were so excited about and was a very big family thing) to finally give up. This had been going on for at least 10 years possibly more, and he gave up cold turkey. He hasn't had a single drink in over 12 months and its made a massive difference to our lives.
    What I'm saying though, is he needed to decide it for himself. It didn't matter how many times I got the shi$s with him, pleaded with him, talked in depth he had o decide for himself. I'm still paranoid about him going back to it, it helps that he can't drink beer anymore due to weight loss surgery, but he could drink spirits.

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  15. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by changethestars View Post
    I appreciate everyone taking the time to comment. He has agreed to drink less and definitely to not expose DD to it. He is very actively job hunting.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Good luck OP.

    I hope you didn't take offense to my earlier comment. I didn't mean any malice.


  16. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by My Beloved Ones View Post
    My father used to drink excessively when I was growing up. Actually he still does but I don't see it anymore (as I don't live at home anymore obviously).

    I have SO many childhood memories of him drinking, vomiting, playing LOUD music until the early hours. I used to cry myself to sleep and be terrified. My mum even used to wake me up to search the paddock next door with her with a torch for his wallet when he lost it.

    This lead me to having a very abnormal (?) relationship with my father and I moved out the day after my HSC exams finished. I could have very easily seen this as 'normal' and continues this binge drinking/alcoholic behaviour myself but I saw how disgusting he looked/smelt/talked that I hardly ever drink. I will never ever expose my children to this kind of behaviour ever.

    OP your dd WILL remember this. It will affect her in more ways you can imagine. I implore you to stop this from happening. If not for the sake if your child but for you, your relationship and the health of your DH.
    Wow that sent shivers down my spine. I could have written that post word for word. I was a tea totaler until about 2 years ago bc I was so badly effected by growing up with a step father that did all the above. And I completely agree with the effect on the kids.

    I'm glad he has agreed to make changes OP, but make sure he sticks to them. i have a feeling he's going to have trouble doing so bc alcohol is such a big part of his life.

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