+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 6 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 59
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    919
    Thanks
    1,388
    Thanked
    307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think that binge drinking regularly as an adult (with family, responsibilities etc) is a drinking problem, and is likely to get worse over the years.

    But answering to your question, I would find ok for DH to do this maybe once or twice/year on a very special occasion. I'm very biased though. I'm quite conservative about drinking just to get drunk, I don't drink much and don't get it why people NEED to do it

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    2,160
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked
    31
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I'm sorry hun but he is an alcoholic and needs help.. I hope he gets help And repairs the damage..he is modelling unacceptable addictive behaviour to your little ones all the best Xx

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to NinjaNet For This Useful Post:

    Gracie's Mum  (11-12-2013),PurpleButterfly4  (14-12-2013),Starfish30  (11-12-2013),SuperGranny  (11-12-2013)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by changethestars View Post
    He always come back by saying that he would be happy to let me go out whenever I want, but the difference is I don't WANT to. I want to be a family and spend time with my child. I feel like having a child changed my priorities and how I want to spend my time, but he still wants to keep acting like a single party boy.
    He says that I think, because he knows you won't want to go out. It's win win for him.

    I'd be heading out for a spa day or facial perhaps the night after his bender, leaving him to look after your DD, especially as he's so happy for you to go out whenever you want.

    Obviously only if he's in the right state to look after your dd.
    Last edited by babyla; 11-12-2013 at 13:23.

  5. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to babyla For This Useful Post:

    changethestars  (11-12-2013),cluckcluck  (11-12-2013),Ellewood  (11-12-2013)

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    No way is that acceptable OP. if you're grown up enough to have babies then you're grown up enough to behave responsibly. There's no way in heck I'd put up with that.

    On the other hand I have a wine most evenings when prepping dinner, but I think that's absolutely fine. The occasional night out or night in with friends is fine too, but regular binge drinking is irresponsible for childless people let alone parents!

    I would simply tell him it's not on OP.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    changethestars  (11-12-2013)

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Posts
    216
    Thanks
    61
    Thanked
    112
    Reviews
    0
    I think the real issue here is his addiction. He needs to wake up to the fact that he can't live without alcohol and it's got nothing to do with going out and having fun.

    Maybe you can suggest he talks to his GP about it?

  9. #16
    SuperGranny's Avatar
    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    sunshine coast qld
    Posts
    6,162
    Thanks
    4,572
    Thanked
    2,753
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    hi changethestars, This is very wrong. He is doing damage to himself, he is ignoring the fact that he has a child and a wife, and he is refusing to grow up and face the consequences of his actions. If he continues, he risks losing his job, his license, and his family, and his health. Unfortunately, he wont see any of this until he hits rock bottom, and admits he has a drinking problem. Just ask him if he thinks he can go one month without drinking, with out any alcohol at all. See what his reaction is, and then ask him does he think he might have a problem. ? Answering for myself, the very first time I saw him Sh*tfaced, I would have walked out the door. I hope you can come to the right decision for you and your family. Marie.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to SuperGranny For This Useful Post:

    changethestars  (11-12-2013)

  11. #17
    lexim's Avatar
    lexim is offline Winner 2013 - Newbie of the Year
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,548
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    805
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't think this is acceptable. My DH use to be a big party goer, would often have 3 day benders with his mates. Was the life of the party, the wild, larrikin. This was before we met, he was still a big party goer after we met bit when we had kids it all changed.

    He has a beer most nights after work at home. ( he is trying to cut down to having two beerless nights a week, although he isn't drinking to get drunk. Constant drinking is still so bad for you) so we made a deal. He has two beerless nights a week and I'll make his lunch everyday and he has to take me out once a month.
    Is working well so far.

    He never goes out drinking for the sake of having a night out. If it's a special occasion he will drink - I don't drink so I drive- but we are out together and he always comes home and he's never legless.
    With that being said if he wanted to stay out then I wouldn't hAve an issue with it because he never does.

    He needs to realise that he's a father and in a relationship and his life is different. Honestly he sounds like an alcoholic because he depends on it (you said he gets stressed if he can't go out) and that's where the problem lies. I would encourage him to seek help.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.

  12. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    1,450
    Thanks
    288
    Thanked
    361
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Having a big night every now and then is fine, we all need to let our hair down. If he gets irritated when he hasnt had one then thats another story. Is he someone who can go out to a bbq and enjoy himself but not get drunk? Or is he annoyed that hes not drinking?

    I think you need to have a long think about whats ok or not for you, then have an honest conversation with him and start discussing boundaries. Its hard hun x

  13. #19
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    2,450
    Thanks
    732
    Thanked
    555
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Sounds very immature to me. Serious if he can't make that small sacrifice to be a involved dad on the weekends he needs to grow up. I haven't binged on alcohol since my mid 20s. I am37 now.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  14. #20
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    698
    Thanks
    122
    Thanked
    131
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Thanks everyone for your input, it is really helping me :-)

    No he would definitely not go to a BBQ and have none or one. He would have multiple. 5 or 6 beers is a "quiet night". Last night he had a mate over and swore and declared to me that it wasn't going to be a biggie, as I had already made clear last time that I did not want binge drinking in the house when DD is present. He crawled into bed wasted at 5 am.

    I honestly think he doesn't see any problem with his behaviour and thinks it is normal. All his mates do it. "Getting in trouble with the girlfriend" is funny and normal to them. None of his mates have children.

    We met when we were both in the "party party" stage of our lives and I fell pregnant accidentally two months later. So it was a huge adjustment, for sure. But if you decide to have a kid, you just suck it up IMO. Either you want to man up and be a father or you don't.


 

Similar Threads

  1. How much alcohol do you drink per week?
    By B00ts in forum General Chat
    Replies: 81
    Last Post: 05-09-2013, 17:19
  2. How much alcohol do you drink in one hit?
    By SoThisIsLove in forum General Chat
    Replies: 34
    Last Post: 28-05-2013, 10:55
  3. How much alcohol do you drink weekly?
    By threechooks in forum General Chat
    Replies: 74
    Last Post: 29-04-2013, 18:28

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Unique, non-toxic wooden eco toys for babies. Water-based paints, saliva-resistant & baby safe. Super soft, prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton. Hypoallergenic - great for eczema relief. FREE gift with purchase. Code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Softmats
Softmats specialises in safe, non-toxic, and durable play mats. The international Premium Dwinguler™ Play Mats and Premium Bubba Mat™ range of floor spaces are the best quality in the world.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!