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  1. #11
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    My DH plays with whatever my 20 month old DS likes. We have never steered him to any particular thing but ever since he was able to notice things it has always been anything with wheels. Especially construction items. Then my DS will follow his dad with whatever daily tasks he does whether it be gardening, exercising, cleaning etc. And he will follow me with whatever I am doing.

    I feel that it was not taught upon him to like these things that is genuinely what he is interested in.
    Last edited by Busy Bee; 11-12-2013 at 13:49.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Seems to be a theme running through these comments. Sarcasm isn't directed at anyone here, however I'm still smarting at being lambasted for my thoughts on the toys thread. Why do you think your husbands play these types of games with your children? Because they were given gender specific toys as children, so now they're only capable of this type of behavior, or is it something much deeper? Is it really sexism, or just a natural instinctive behavior pattern?

    I think it's known what I think. And, I'm not talking about every. single. man. I'm talking about the majority of men. Most men like huntin, fishin, and rootin. I'm embarrassed to say it, really I am, but I think they actually do. They might like other things too, but when it comes right down to it, this is where it begins.

    Does anyone dare to agree? I know it is NOT politically correct or even socially acceptable to say such things, but there you go, I've said it.
    I'm kind of confused on this. I didn't read the other thread though....my DH doesn't like fishing or hunting as has a very low libido so even that's out. He loves rugby...but so does his sister . He loves cooking. He cooks pancakes with the kids every Sunday. He plays physical games like tip. We're doing construction at the moment and DS spends most of the time helping Daddy do that.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Seems to be a theme running through these comments. Sarcasm isn't directed at anyone here, however I'm still smarting at being lambasted for my thoughts on the toys thread. Why do you think your husbands play these types of games with your children? Because they were given gender specific toys as children, so now they're only capable of this type of behavior, or is it something much deeper? Is it really sexism, or just a natural instinctive behavior pattern?

    I think it's known what I think. And, I'm not talking about every. single. man. I'm talking about the majority of men. Most men like huntin, fishin, and rootin. I'm embarrassed to say it, really I am, but I think they actually do. They might like other things too, but when it comes right down to it, this is where it begins.

    Does anyone dare to agree? I know it is NOT politically correct or even socially acceptable to say such things, but there you go, I've said it.
    I don't know any men that like hunting, not one. I know a few that fish occasionally, like on holidays. I don't know any that use the term "rootin" except in jest. Even if a man did like these things, why would that make him more likely to play with toy trucks and cars? How can males have a natural inclination to such things?? Surely it's obvious that this cycle is perpetuated by what we give our kids to play with and what we say to them?

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  5. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Seems to be a theme running through these comments. Sarcasm isn't directed at anyone here, however I'm still smarting at being lambasted for my thoughts on the toys thread. Why do you think your husbands play these types of games with your children? Because they were given gender specific toys as children, so now they're only capable of this type of behavior, or is it something much deeper? Is it really sexism, or just a natural instinctive behavior pattern?

    I think it's known what I think. And, I'm not talking about every. single. man. I'm talking about the majority of men. Most men like huntin, fishin, and rootin. I'm embarrassed to say it, really I am, but I think they actually do. They might like other things too, but when it comes right down to it, this is where it begins.

    Does anyone dare to agree? I know it is NOT politically correct or even socially acceptable to say such things, but there you go, I've said it.
    I disagree. I think it begins with the clothes, toys and items they are gifted with at birth. It begins before they are even aware they are making a "choice". By the time they are making a choice views have already been impacted. My DS has been given so many trucks to play with that these become his choice by default not because he's hard wired to play with trucks.

  6. #15
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    I think it depends where you live as well? We live in the country so yes my hubby likes hunting (pigs mostly), motorbikes, catching yabbies, getting dirty and he does these things with our DS. ( he goes out tracking pigs eg looking for footprints, diggings etc nothing to crazy when ds is around) and if we have a daughter she will do the sane things as I too have a motorbike, I like catching yabbies etc
    We also have a landscaping business so our shed is full of diggers, bobcats, trucks etc and we live next door to my fil and mils farm so they have tractors and loaders etc so of course ds is machinery crazy and I imagine ds2 will be too and same if we have a daughter.

    We have friends who live near the beach and they enjoy fishing, surfing etc.

    We have friends who live In the city and neither are interested in hunting, fishing, motorbikes etc


    DH and ds play rough and do boy things but DH also encourages ds1 sensitive side. He's very nurturing and loves animals. He's very gentle with them. He likes to "mother" them. We also bought him a toy kitchen and he loves cooking, baking, making cups of tea in it. He also likes to cook with me.

    I think as long as DH is playing with their kids then what is the issue?


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    Lost our little squirt 20/11/13.

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    Dh is a bit of a mixture. DS loves cooking so he he will cook cakes with him, do art. But they also do the stereotypical stuff like wrestling and cars etc.

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    It's an expression. I didn't mean hunting or fishing literally. I suppose it's an American expression.

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    Really interesting book you should try get your hands on.

    It's called The Male Brain by louann Brizendine

    She also wrote one called The Female Brain.

    Contrary to popular belief that books like these are sexist, the author goes into depth about how your sex determines certain hormones to run throughout your body and form sex oriented brain maps.

    "The main thesis of the book is that women’s behavior is different from that of men due to hormonal differences. Brizendine says that the human female brain is affected by the following hormones: estrogen, progesterone, testosterone, (oxytocin), neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin), and that there are difference in the architecture of the brain (prefrontal cortex, hypothalamus, amygdala) that regulates such hormones and neurotransmitters."

    Very very insightful. I highly recommend.

    DP likes to do puzzles with DD2 and built things ie, a cubby house out of cushions and a blanket. He can also do tea parties but his first choice is something in construction. My first thing is imaginary play, or cooking. When we buy her toys I look for picnic baskets with pretend food and little cooking utensils, DP for Christmas wanted to buy her a car....
    Last edited by ThreePeasPlease; 11-12-2013 at 15:41.

  10. #19
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    I agree with some of what you've said Clara. I believe it's nature AND nurture, and it's not a popular opinion on here but I'm fine with others disagreeing with me.

    I did sociology and feminist studies at uni, learnt all about how it's 100% social construction not nature. So when I had both my kids I was very mindful of that. I bought them a variety of 'girls' and 'boys' toys. I remember DD being only 18months-2 years old and her refusing to wear shorts, or the blues and greens I had bought her. She was quite frou frou then, and still is. Despite me buying shorts and pants in various colours, she still gravitates towards dresses and feminine stuff.

    DS was the same. He had full access to dolls, cars, toy kitchen equipment. Yet from the crawling age went for 'boys' toys 90% of the time. And I guess my experiences with my kids have really led me to believe there is a nature component as well as the social construction argument as well. A 12 month old baby doesn't understand what boys and girls toys are, nor peer pressure.

    Of course I know there are boys that love playing with dolls and girls that love cars and getting dirty. Everything in life is shades of grey. But yeah, I believe in *some* kids it's more than just nurture.

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  12. #20
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    My DS's father lives in another state so when DS does see him, they tend to more boys stuff ie play with cars, rough and tumble type play. He will also play sword fights, superheroes. It all just depends what DS is wanting to play with or do when he sees his father.

    My Dad sees DS more and he definitely does do more gender stereo type play but DS loves it.

    Me, I will play everything or anything with him. It's whatever DS wants to do in those type of things


    Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)


 

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