I know I havent got it as bad as some people TTC and I havent tried as long as some but Ive been struggling lately and I just need to get this off my chest.
We are onto our 29th month TTC baby #1, I have PCOS and this is my second cycle of Clomid. I feel very hopeless and like nothing is ever going to work. I have a follow up appointment with my Gyno in January and if Clomid hasnt worked for us by then he is referring us to a FS. DH and I have spoken about what this means and for us at this time in our lives we cant afford a FS or further treatment and Im really struggling coming to terms with that.
We recently got married and my MIL (who doesnt know weve been trying and is also not a very nice person) keeps pushing about us having kids stating "Theres no reason not to have any now that you are married" and its really been getting me down. I dont want her to know about my issues (she wants us to have kids because she doesnt get to see her other grandkids) and its like a knife to my heart anytime anyone says anything about babies to us.
I feel like Im never going to get the chance to have a baby and it hurts so much to think about. I feel really sh!tty thinking about our journey because I was 22 when we started and completely thought that I would have my first baby at 23. Im 25 in a couple of weeks and I thought I would be pregnant with my second child right now and I imagined my nanna (who passed away in April) would of met at least my first child and now she never will.
Im just feeling really hopeless and Im sorry for the big whinge post but I just needed to vent