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  1. #41
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    My wedding I said no kids but had 2 babies - one a newborn and another 3 months old. I don't think babies count but that's just me.

    I just had a lot of family and friends who had toddlers and it was kinda a invite 1 get 12 situation.

    But as mentioned its up to the bride though.

  2. #42
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    I'm going to go against the grain here. We had no children at our wedding - no exceptions. I realise it might seem harsh but you don't always know the real reasons behind it.

    In our case, we had no children of our own and no nieces or nephews. DH also has a large extended family who can be overbearing to say the least. We copped a LOT of flack from them for our no kids policy as they expected us to invite all the kids, from babies to teens. We were getting nasty phone calls and 2 of DHs uncles stood over DH at another persons wedding and basically threatened him to reconsider.

    To put this in perspective, we never see these kids, some of them are DHs second cousins and quite frankly I draw the line at 1st cousins as the numbers would get ridiculous. We were already at capacity for our venue and inviting kids would have meant another 30+ people and a different venue. My family on the other hand is small, and we all respect that people aren't made of money so numbers are always minimal.

    If we had allowed even 1 baby, regardless of the reason, the fallout from DHs family would have been horrendous and quite possibly ruined the wedding (we had enough issues at the engagement party with DHs uncles insulting my dad and even at the wedding with one of them interrupting DHs speech!).

    One of DHs groomsmen lived interstate and his wife had recently had a baby. We said no to the baby attending so his wife didn't come. I know it sounds harsh, but it's what we had to do. It was, after all, our wedding day - we wanted it as drama-free as possible. We also fully understood if someone couldn't attend due to children at home.

    So I guess my point is, you don't necessarily know the reasons behind their position so I think their choice should be respected and I don't think it's fair to judge or try to punish them for it. When DD was a newbie I either didn't attend (and fully accepted that others don't have to accommodate me just because I have a baby) or made arrangements so I could go to some of the event.

    Who knows, maybe she can't have kids and doesn't want to be reminded of that on her wedding day?

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  4. #43
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    I wouldn't go either personally.


    Age 20, engaged, mummy to 3yo DS and TTC his sibling! Living life backwards

  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    I'm going to go against the grain here. We had no children at our wedding - no exceptions. I realise it might seem harsh but you don't always know the real reasons behind it.

    In our case, we had no children of our own and no nieces or nephews. DH also has a large extended family who can be overbearing to say the least. We copped a LOT of flack from them for our no kids policy as they expected us to invite all the kids, from babies to teens. We were getting nasty phone calls and 2 of DHs uncles stood over DH at another persons wedding and basically threatened him to reconsider.

    To put this in perspective, we never see these kids, some of them are DHs second cousins and quite frankly I draw the line at 1st cousins as the numbers would get ridiculous. We were already at capacity for our venue and inviting kids would have meant another 30+ people and a different venue. My family on the other hand is small, and we all respect that people aren't made of money so numbers are always minimal.

    If we had allowed even 1 baby, regardless of the reason, the fallout from DHs family would have been horrendous and quite possibly ruined the wedding (we had enough issues at the engagement party with DHs uncles insulting my dad and even at the wedding with one of them interrupting DHs speech!).

    One of DHs groomsmen lived interstate and his wife had recently had a baby. We said no to the baby attending so his wife didn't come. I know it sounds harsh, but it's what we had to do. It was, after all, our wedding day - we wanted it as drama-free as possible. We also fully understood if someone couldn't attend due to children at home.

    So I guess my point is, you don't necessarily know the reasons behind their position so I think their choice should be respected and I don't think it's fair to judge or try to punish them for it. When DD was a newbie I either didn't attend (and fully accepted that others don't have to accommodate me just because I have a baby) or made arrangements so I could go to some of the event.

    Who knows, maybe she can't have kids and doesn't want to be reminded of that on her wedding day?
    I actually agree with you. Regardless of the reason, it is 100% the bride and grooms choice, I would always respect that. So long as they respect a mother/fathers choice to then not attend due to their children.

    On the flip side, one of our family members is getting married next year and is insisting we bring all 3 children, including DS2 who has SPD and some pretty bad anxiety when it comes to crowds, when DH and I would prefer to get them babysat for the day.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    She dosnt want ANY kids at her wedding her call, fair enough. You said you can't make it because of that, she's ok with that. What's the problem? To me, no kids means no kids including babies. I'm guessing you're not a close enough friend to make an exception for.

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  8. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post
    I was a bridesmaid in my SILs wedding when DD1 was 12 weeks old. The wedding was about 45 minutes from my house and SIL told me when I was pregnant that DD would NOT be able to attend and could I get my Mum to have her overnight. Thankfully my Mum was able to stay with us so I fed DD before going to the church and then again before the reception and then my Mum took her home and bought her back to me at 7am the next morning (oh my poor b00bs) NOW, 4 years down the track and my SIL has her own child, she has apologised profusely for her craziness and when her own baby was 12 weeks old she burst into tears and told her husband how horrible they were for not letting me take DD to their wedding.....I hope your bride realises the same thing when she has her own children.
    You are nicer that what I would have been. I would have told SIL to show her bridesmaids dress up her @rse...

  9. #47
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    I was 'that bride'. No kids. No idea. I didn't say children weren't invited because dh was uncomfortable doing so, but most people didn't being toddlers anyway because they preferred a night out on their own. We did have 6 young babies come and I hated it at the time. I wanted it to be a grown up classy event without screaming babies ruining 'my' day. Even 12 wk bf babies annoyed me. During my vows in church one of them was going off and the mum took ages to take her outside. I was so mad. And then at the reception I felt like I was at a daycare centre. Every table had a baby at it.

    Looking back I am horrified at this. What a waste of a good day by thinking negatively. I should've concentrated on other stuff and had fun regardless. I've got a baby now myself and wow how does your perspective change!

  10. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cue View Post
    I'm going to go against the grain here. We had no children at our wedding - no exceptions. I realise it might seem harsh but you don't always know the real reasons behind it.

    In our case, we had no children of our own and no nieces or nephews. DH also has a large extended family who can be overbearing to say the least. We copped a LOT of flack from them for our no kids policy as they expected us to invite all the kids, from babies to teens. We were getting nasty phone calls and 2 of DHs uncles stood over DH at another persons wedding and basically threatened him to reconsider.

    To put this in perspective, we never see these kids, some of them are DHs second cousins and quite frankly I draw the line at 1st cousins as the numbers would get ridiculous. We were already at capacity for our venue and inviting kids would have meant another 30+ people and a different venue. My family on the other hand is small, and we all respect that people aren't made of money so numbers are always minimal.

    If we had allowed even 1 baby, regardless of the reason, the fallout from DHs family would have been horrendous and quite possibly ruined the wedding (we had enough issues at the engagement party with DHs uncles insulting my dad and even at the wedding with one of them interrupting DHs speech!).

    One of DHs groomsmen lived interstate and his wife had recently had a baby. We said no to the baby attending so his wife didn't come. I know it sounds harsh, but it's what we had to do. It was, after all, our wedding day - we wanted it as drama-free as possible. We also fully understood if someone couldn't attend due to children at home.

    So I guess my point is, you don't necessarily know the reasons behind their position so I think their choice should be respected and I don't think it's fair to judge or try to punish them for it. When DD was a newbie I either didn't attend (and fully accepted that others don't have to accommodate me just because I have a baby) or made arrangements so I could go to some of the event.

    Who knows, maybe she can't have kids and doesn't want to be reminded of that on her wedding day?
    I get what you're saying and it was totally your call. I would have handled it different though, along the lines on "young babies can come if anyone wants to chuck a wobbly then f@rk off and act like a baby elsewhere." I have a low tolerance threshold for adults acting like kids..I prefer to put them in their place. That's just me though!

  11. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I get what you're saying and it was totally your call. I would have handled it different though, along the lines on "young babies can come if anyone wants to chuck a wobbly then f@rk off and act like a baby elsewhere." I have a low tolerance threshold for adults acting like kids..I prefer to put them in their place. That's just me though!
    Oh trust me that's my usual response too! It was a very difficult balancing act though, DHs parents would have copped the majority of the abuse and they don't deal with confrontation. They would have become very upset and it would have added a lot of stress for them. I was quite happy to tell the aunts/uncles plainly to bugger off but held my tongue. I still think we took the best course of action, it essentially kept everyone manageable while holding firm on our position. We had hardly any friends with kids at that stage so it was a bit easier to just explain the situation to those we needed to.

  12. #50
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    She clearly has no kids of her own and has no idea what it would be like to try and organise logistics of having a breastfed infant looked after 7 hours away from your home.

    I really cannot stand the `I'm the Bride it's my day and bugger everyone else' mindset. Under 6 months should absolutely be the exception to the no kids rule. I have never heard of a venue not allowing babies, what a load of nonsense.


 

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