+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 33
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,920
    Thanks
    1,148
    Thanked
    953
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    If you dont mind me asking, does he have valid reasons for not wanting you to go? Somethings gotta give surely if he is unhappy at work and wants to transfer he would be happy for you to go with him?

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,427
    Thanks
    497
    Thanked
    1,588
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by JAUSMROS View Post
    . I have discussed the moving there thing, but he doesn't want me to.
    Has he given you a reason why?

    If it was not FIFO, just come home when he could then no, that would not be acceptable at all to me. Why be together?

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    Not really, his reasons are that he doesn't want me away from my family and that he doesn't want me in that mining environment. Yeah well that's why its so hard for me, the just come home when I can thing, no certainty at all. I don't want to break up over it, but just cant seem to see myself dealing with it very well in the long term.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,889
    Thanks
    452
    Thanked
    596
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    You, he & the baby are your family unit now. That's #1 priority. To me, I'd much rather be at a distance from my parents than my partner. In fact, my parents live in a diff state.

  5. #25
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Sorry if this is an insensitive question, but was your pregnancy planned? Had you discussed with him before now that you would rather he stayed with you and not work away once you had kids? Because you say in the past 2 years he has worked away a bit, I don't think it's completely unreasonable for him to ask now. You keep saying you didn't 'make' him move to Brisbane, but it doesn't really sound like he's completely settled there. He's allowed to change his mind about living in Brisbane, but it sounds like you guys need to sit down and have an enormous chat about what you each want and how you can reach a compromise.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Sorry if this is an insensitive question, but was your pregnancy planned? Had you discussed with him before now that you would rather he stayed with you and not work away once you had kids? Because you say in the past 2 years he has worked away a bit, I don't think it's completely unreasonable for him to ask now. You keep saying you didn't 'make' him move to Brisbane, but it doesn't really sound like he's completely settled there. He's allowed to change his mind about living in Brisbane, but it sounds like you guys need to sit down and have an enormous chat about what you each want and how you can reach a compromise.
    It was a if it happens it happens type situation, I wouldn't say planned, but I wouldn't say unplanned either if that makes sense. Yes I guess we have a lot to talk about - I've probably made it sound like a crappy relationship but hes just a very particular person, workaholic and worries a lot about $$$, so I guess he probably sees it from that prespective more than anything.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Queensland
    Posts
    8,522
    Thanks
    2,929
    Thanked
    1,661
    Reviews
    36
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 26/9/2014100 Posts in a week
    Looking on the flip side..could he get a FIFO position so that he will be home on a regular basis?

    That way he gets to go back to working where he likes, you don't have to move from your family AND it won't just be him getting home when he can...

    My husband works FIFO and has done since before we had kids. It is a bit harder to deal with once children come along but if you have family near by for support it's doable.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to summastarlet For This Useful Post:

    SuperGranny  (06-12-2013)

  9. #28
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by JAUSMROS View Post
    It was a if it happens it happens type situation, I wouldn't say planned, but I wouldn't say unplanned either if that makes sense. Yes I guess we have a lot to talk about - I've probably made it sound like a crappy relationship but hes just a very particular person, workaholic and worries a lot about $$$, so I guess he probably sees it from that prespective more than anything.
    Nope, doesn't sound like a crappy relationship at all, just sounds like you've run into one of those issues that come up from time to time where you're both going to have to give up a bit to make a compromise. A sticky situation but I'm sure you'll sort it out.

  10. #29
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    Nope, doesn't sound like a crappy relationship at all, just sounds like you've run into one of those issues that come up from time to time where you're both going to have to give up a bit to make a compromise. A sticky situation but I'm sure you'll sort it out.
    Yes fingers crossed, it will all pan out out...

  11. #30
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    8,705
    Thanks
    581
    Thanked
    647
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I think it is a smart idea to remain near family for the first couple of months of bub's life- the support is invaluable. When the bub is 6months old, I would then tell him that we could give it a go for 12months. If we don't like it, we'll move back.


 

Similar Threads

  1. who is being unreasonable here?
    By GlitterFarts in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 26-11-2013, 20:24
  2. Am I being unreasonable?
    By Jelly Belly in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 27-07-2013, 18:23
  3. Am I being unreasonable?
    By heartstringz in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-07-2013, 19:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Wendys Music School Melbourne
Wondering about Music Lessons? FREE 30 minute ASSESSMENT. Find out if your child is ready! Piano from age 3 years & Guitar, Singing, Drums, Violin from age 5. Lessons available for all ages. 35+ years experience. Structured program.
Use referral 'bubhub' when booking
featured supporter
SRC Pregnancy & Recovery Shorts
Want pain relief during pregnancy, and to continue working and exercising? Fancy a speedy recovery after childbirth? Want to regain your pre-baby body shape fast? Recommended by healthcare professionals, SRC compression products will let your body do its most important work.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!