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  1. #1
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    Default am I being unreasonable?

    I just need a bit of advice to see if I am being unreasonable. My partner and I met in the mines about 2 yrs ago. He moved to the city (about 8hrs away) to b with me when I finished up in the mines, we'd only known each other 2 weeks so for him it was a bit of a gamble but his choice and I made that clear. We've lived here for 2 years, him working away on and off. which hasn't been so bad. Now I am 6 months pregnant and he keeps asking me if he can go back to work to the place were we met (8 hrs away) because he doesn't like the crew at his depo here or the type of work. Now, everytime hes asked ive said no - simply because its too far away, for him it would be like moving back (he was living in that mining town we met at for 6 years) and other factors, such as the fact that I don't know his history in that place. His last long term girlfriend and her family live in this tiny town also. I trust him, HOWEVER, when I was there for three months and before I met him and knew who he was ALL of the girls at my work talked about him and how good looking he was - so its everyone else I don't trust. Thoughts?

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    Would you consider moving up there? Presume you won't be working for a while after having bub, so might be better to be near whatever is the best work for him.

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    Sounds like to me its him you dont trust more like it.

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    It doesn't matter if you don't trust other people, you only have to trust your partner and it sounds like you don't.

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    Hmm interesting, replies. Perhaps its just me being insecure. I probably didn't word that all properly but it will be hard having him 8 hrs away permanently when I am 6 months pregnant with my first baby. He wouldn't want me to move there because its too far away from my own family. Never realised I was so insecure, but I guess youd have to be in my position to understand.

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    If it were me, I would prefer my DP to be happy in his job. I find that if DP is happy with work he is alot happier at home. I would hate to think that DP is going to a job he hates so i can stay at home looking after our daughter. I think that if he was unhappy and he asked me, i would happily agree. Yes being away is hard but you both could make it work.

    There needs to be a certain level of trust however, I personally do no believe in the saying "I trust him - its them i dont trust" because ultimately it will be his decision as to what he does. IE: Remove himself from the situation etc.

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    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
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    If you trusted him it wouldn't be an issue. It wouldn't matter who else you didn't trust because ultimately if you trusted him it wouldn't matter what moves other people pulled - does that make sense??

    On the flip side I cant see things going to well if he feels you are forcing him to stay in a job he doesn't like!

    Sit down with him and be honest with him about how you are feeling.

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    Yeah I do see what you mean. Hes never done anything for me not to trust him, so I don't know why I am being insecure... anyway.. we will work it out.

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    I wouldn't be ok with it either. It's not about trust it's about sticking to decisions we made for our family.

    I'd go with my partner rather than stay behind to be with say my parents etc. However it's easy for me to say that as I'm not close to my family.

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    I wouldn't like my husband to be living 8 hours away when I was pregnant/have a young baby.

    I want my family to be together...and if he is 8 hours away, to me...that is not together.

    I would think about all the time he would miss with me and bubs and how much I would miss him. How will he bond with bubs if he lives 8 hours away.

    I am not insecure, but I want my hubby to be home with our family.

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