+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 33
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0

    Default am I being unreasonable?

    I just need a bit of advice to see if I am being unreasonable. My partner and I met in the mines about 2 yrs ago. He moved to the city (about 8hrs away) to b with me when I finished up in the mines, we'd only known each other 2 weeks so for him it was a bit of a gamble but his choice and I made that clear. We've lived here for 2 years, him working away on and off. which hasn't been so bad. Now I am 6 months pregnant and he keeps asking me if he can go back to work to the place were we met (8 hrs away) because he doesn't like the crew at his depo here or the type of work. Now, everytime hes asked ive said no - simply because its too far away, for him it would be like moving back (he was living in that mining town we met at for 6 years) and other factors, such as the fact that I don't know his history in that place. His last long term girlfriend and her family live in this tiny town also. I trust him, HOWEVER, when I was there for three months and before I met him and knew who he was ALL of the girls at my work talked about him and how good looking he was - so its everyone else I don't trust. Thoughts?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,889
    Thanks
    452
    Thanked
    596
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Would you consider moving up there? Presume you won't be working for a while after having bub, so might be better to be near whatever is the best work for him.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Brisbane North
    Posts
    4,461
    Thanks
    1,581
    Thanked
    1,803
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Sounds like to me its him you dont trust more like it.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,625
    Thanks
    1,317
    Thanked
    2,596
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    It doesn't matter if you don't trust other people, you only have to trust your partner and it sounds like you don't.

  5. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Lincolns mummy For This Useful Post:

    BlueLips  (05-12-2013),NoteToSelf  (05-12-2013),Pusheen The Cat  (05-12-2013),TimeForWine  (05-12-2013)

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    Hmm interesting, replies. Perhaps its just me being insecure. I probably didn't word that all properly but it will be hard having him 8 hrs away permanently when I am 6 months pregnant with my first baby. He wouldn't want me to move there because its too far away from my own family. Never realised I was so insecure, but I guess youd have to be in my position to understand.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    1,943
    Thanks
    1,160
    Thanked
    959
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    Funniest Caption
    If it were me, I would prefer my DP to be happy in his job. I find that if DP is happy with work he is alot happier at home. I would hate to think that DP is going to a job he hates so i can stay at home looking after our daughter. I think that if he was unhappy and he asked me, i would happily agree. Yes being away is hard but you both could make it work.

    There needs to be a certain level of trust however, I personally do no believe in the saying "I trust him - its them i dont trust" because ultimately it will be his decision as to what he does. IE: Remove himself from the situation etc.

  8. #7
    TimeForWine's Avatar
    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    409
    Thanks
    1,060
    Thanked
    422
    Reviews
    0
    If you trusted him it wouldn't be an issue. It wouldn't matter who else you didn't trust because ultimately if you trusted him it wouldn't matter what moves other people pulled - does that make sense??

    On the flip side I cant see things going to well if he feels you are forcing him to stay in a job he doesn't like!

    Sit down with him and be honest with him about how you are feeling.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    21
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    7
    Reviews
    0
    Yeah I do see what you mean. Hes never done anything for me not to trust him, so I don't know why I am being insecure... anyway.. we will work it out.

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to JAUSMROS For This Useful Post:

    TimeForWine  (05-12-2013)

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,581
    Thanks
    748
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I wouldn't be ok with it either. It's not about trust it's about sticking to decisions we made for our family.

    I'd go with my partner rather than stay behind to be with say my parents etc. However it's easy for me to say that as I'm not close to my family.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,678
    Thanks
    788
    Thanked
    1,847
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I wouldn't like my husband to be living 8 hours away when I was pregnant/have a young baby.

    I want my family to be together...and if he is 8 hours away, to me...that is not together.

    I would think about all the time he would miss with me and bubs and how much I would miss him. How will he bond with bubs if he lives 8 hours away.

    I am not insecure, but I want my hubby to be home with our family.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to River Song For This Useful Post:

    ourbradybunch  (05-12-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. who is being unreasonable here?
    By GlitterFarts in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 55
    Last Post: 26-11-2013, 20:24
  2. Am I being unreasonable?
    By Jelly Belly in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 27-07-2013, 18:23
  3. Am I being unreasonable?
    By heartstringz in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 05-07-2013, 19:41

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
The Little Gym Bella Vista
Get ready for some serious, fun gymnastics! The Little Gym Bella Vista
The world’s premier experiential learning and physical development center for children ages 4 months - 12 years. Create opportunities for your child to try new things and build self-confidence, all with a grin that stretches from ear to ear
featured supporter
Sudocrem / Infacol
Sudocrem® Healing Cream is a soothing emollient cream which aids and assists in the management of nappy rash, eczema, abrasions, wounds and minor skin irritations. Infacol Wind Drops are an effective method of treating wind in infants.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!