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    Default IVF Mandatory Counselling

    Hi All,

    My partner and I have just finished our 3 mandatory IVF counselling sessions and at this point, I'm a bit peeved. The counselling, for us and our known donor, cost us approximately $1000 - fair enough, we knew all of this wasnt going to come cheap.

    The first session was very introductory and that's fair enough too. We had already done a lot of research and had discussions with our donor about how things would work but not everyone will have so I understand that it is fairly basic by design.

    We had our second session last week. Everything had been ticking along fine until the subject of names came up. We told the counsellor that we are all happy for the donor to be known to the child as Dad. Woah did we get that wrong?! For the next half hour, the counsellor told us why it was wrong and confusing and potentially damaging for the child for us to call the donor Dad instead of 'The Donor' and advised that we were getting confused because we are using a known donor. The more that my partner and I tried to explain the discussions that we had had with our donor and amongst ourselves, the pushier the counsellor got about her opinion being right and us being so terribly wrong. By the time I left, I was fuming.

    I can deal with the police checks and the child protection order checks and having to do mandatory counselling but to sit there and be dictated to about how we choose to set up our family dynamic AND having to pay $210 an hour for the privilege was further than my acceptance could extend!

    So the third session rolled around yesterday. To say that I wasnt looking forward to it was an understatement. We started off with a bit of general chit chat while we got our donor on the phone from Sweden and then the counsellor started chatting with our donor about Christmas traditions in Sweden then chatted with my partner about West End theatre productions and then it was over, in half an hour.

    We covered nothing new or related to IVF, except for my partner and I conveying our appreciation for the donation. The appointment was half the time it was supposed to be and we were charged another ~$200 for the session.

    I must say, I did have higher expectations than what we ended up with. Has anyone else had the same or similar experiences with the counselling? Do all clinics make you do the 3 sessions? Or were we just unlucky?

    MealsandEmma (using Monash IVF)

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    It sucks hey. We have a known donor and my sister and I say just enough to get the boxes ticked and that's it. It didn't cost anything though..


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

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    MealsandEmma22  (04-12-2013)

  4. #3
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    almai is offline "you never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
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    We did 2 sessions (about $200 each) before and after our mandatory 6 month 'cooling off period' and we did iudi with unknown donor.
    We had thought about pretty much everything so we answered all questions and seemed to know more than the counsellor... We didnt get anything out of it other than proving to a random person that we were fit/rational people and could continue with the process...

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    MealsandEmma22  (04-12-2013)

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    As an egg donor I got a little bit out of it but really felt I didn't need the 3 sessions. Being known to the recipients we had nutted out most of it over breakfast and afternoon tea. I don't know if, or how much, the recipients paid for it but I felt it could be a pretty cushy job!

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    MealsandEmma22  (04-12-2013)

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    We used Genea and had to have the mandatory counselling. It was such a waste of time as we'd already talked about everything beforehand with our donor...what would happen if the child was disabled, what her feelings would be if we later conceived naturally, would she do it again, would we ask her to do it again. We covered everything and even our counselor admitted that we just needed to tick the boxes. From memory it cost us quite a bit of money and put our donor out as she had to travel a fair way. I was pretty peeved and had an email ready to send off to Genea about it but then my DH talked me out of it. I do think that it should be mandatory but I don't think we should have to pay for it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rittzy View Post
    We used Genea and had to have the mandatory counselling. It was such a waste of time as we'd already talked about everything beforehand with our donor...what would happen if the child was disabled, what her feelings would be if we later conceived naturally, would she do it again, would we ask her to do it again. We covered everything and even our counselor admitted that we just needed to tick the boxes. From memory it cost us quite a bit of money and put our donor out as she had to travel a fair way. I was pretty peeved and had an email ready to send off to Genea about it but then my DH talked me out of it. I do think that it should be mandatory but I don't think we should have to pay for it.
    I didn't really have a problem with paying for it, I just thought that there was so much more that they could have covered but didn't and it ended up being a total waste of our time. I have thought about emailing Monash about it but at the end of the day, what's the point? I'm sure the experience varies from counsellor to counsellor and maybe we were just unlucky.


 

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