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  1. #811
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    Congrats miss sparkles !!!!! Wishing you all the best

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    MissSparkles  (10-01-2014)

  3. #812
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    I know DH is in a different place to me and I talk about TTC far less now than before we were trying. Last month we DTD twice. He has no idea when I O and doesn't want to know. I wanted to buy some sperm friendly lube and he rolled his eyes at me because we've got some already (but not sperm friendly). He swears he's excited and is on board with the TTC journey, but I get the complete opposite feeling from him. From when we first got together (I was 24) he's known I've wanted kids. First we had to wait because I went back to uni, then he started studying, then we had to get married, then we had to wait for him to be ready etc etc. The whole time he's known I've wanted a baby by the time I'm 30. I turn 29 in March so the window is closing. I also know it took sister 4 years to fall pg so there's always that worry at the back of my mind. Every time I bring something up about pinpointing O or whatever I just get an eye roll as if I'm being stupid. This is month 5 or 6 of TTC so I know it's still early days, but I think I would feel less anxious with a more contributing partner!

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    That's sucks, you DH shouldn't belittle you like that. Sorry but I don't understand how a red blooded man would rather look at a computer screen than have sex?? I feel for you it's not fair and he should be supporting you- he's not right now if he's 'tired' and rolling his eyes at you. Huge hugs** Im really annoyed with him for you :/

  5. #814
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    Hi em, you were feeling like this last cycle weren't you?

    Sounds like he is really scared of becoming a parent and is just not reacting in a way that is fair to you. Maybe chat seriously about his fears. Say that he knows you have always wanted kids, so it should be no surprise that you are getting into it, despite what he may think it's not always easy for everyone to get pregnant and he's a bit late to be biding his time, but at the same time recognise he could just be sh*t scared.




    Me 31, He 34, DD 21 months, waiting for just 1 more to complete our family.

  6. #815
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    Yeah I was, broken record much haha.

    When I do try to talk to him I get the whole "I am excited about having a baby" reaction. His best mate has a 19month old and trying for #2, but I wonder sometimes if he's feeling pressured by his mate. He doesn't like being forced/pressured into anything - he had my engagement ring for over a year because people kept asking him when/if we were getting married and he didn't want anyone to think (mainly his mum) that they are the ones who convinced him and made it happen. It's infuriating. So I guess I'll just forget about it and wait a year or 2 until he feels like it's his idea or something. Gah!

  7. #816
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leisylou View Post
    Hi Chillies, good to see you back! Fingers crossed that you did O on the weekend and that something exciting is happening in your belly right now!

    Totally understand how scared you are - totally normal. I got my BFP a week ago today, and every conversation about it with DH is prefaced "if everything works out and we have a healthy little one..." we're too scared to even have a conversation where we assume that we'll have a baby... I have a scan booked on the 20th when I should be 7 weeks and all I can think about is the last time when the technician couldn't find a heartbeat, and I am terrified of that happening again. This is the journey we go on - goodness we are tough women!

    Sending you lots of love and wishes that your sticky one happens quickly now. xxxxx
    Yes I can relate as I am now 4 weeks and 2 days and ive had to ectopics and 2 mc andno kids and its too early to even have a scan to see where it is let alone heartbeats...I am booked in for one next tues which will only confirm if is tubal...hopefully,..to get the referral went to gp whose first question was where am I going to give birth public or private and i kind of blinked at her like...im going to give birth??? ...then shes talking about downs syndrome tests and really im not there yet...not even going on pregnancy threads...btw is the downs testing standard or is it my age..41?

    Sent from my GT-P3110 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Summer  (12-01-2014)

  9. #817
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    Your age will be a factor at 41. Statistically the chance of having a baby with a chromosomal abnormality increases dramatically over the age of 35. Your age also increases the chance of multiples too!

    ETA: Testing for downs is routine around 12 weeks in most pregnancies anyway, but they will likely push it harder for you given your age. Sorry, probably not worded very well!

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    mrsmac123  (09-01-2014)

  11. #818
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    Em I think men are a major variable in ttc...I learnt with my DH very quickly not to discuss things in great or gory detail, not to obsess (do it on bubhub) it is hard as they are meant to be your best friend but they are different beasts. Some guys might be ok but I found with mine the more obsessed I seemed the harder it was to get him to come to the party. Im still obsessed but I either carry on on here or to my mother or keep it to myself. So use the opks...dont mention any of it..much... and see if you can secretly seduce him without being obvious...but yes I know that you wanna bd more than once and thats the hard part ...but dont mention your ulterior motive...was only a couple of months ago I remember saying...why is it I have spent half my married life having sex when I dont want to but when I want to ttc all the sudden DH becomes hard to deal with


    Sent from my GT-P3110 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  12. #819
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    Quote Originally Posted by pinkorblue View Post
    do you want me to leave it as is or change you?


    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I think I should be changed. I'm iff to the fertility specialist. Hopefully it does not take long and I'm celebrating like all the lovely ladies with their BFP

  13. #820
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    Quote Originally Posted by theoneandonlyem View Post
    Yeah I was, broken record much haha.

    When I do try to talk to him I get the whole "I am excited about having a baby" reaction. His best mate has a 19month old and trying for #2, but I wonder sometimes if he's feeling pressured by his mate. He doesn't like being forced/pressured into anything - he had my engagement ring for over a year because people kept asking him when/if we were getting married and he didn't want anyone to think (mainly his mum) that they are the ones who convinced him and made it happen. It's infuriating. So I guess I'll just forget about it and wait a year or 2 until he feels like it's his idea or something. Gah!
    Not at all! It's clearly hard on you that it happens each cycle. I'm a bit like hi. TBH. I hate people thinking I copy them, I equally don't like being told what to do, so I see where he is coming from, but I must admit, marriage and babies are different, time to swallow the pride.


    Me 31, He 34, DD 21 months, waiting for just 1 more to complete our family.


 

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