You've hit it spot on - the lesson is to trust in myself and I failed miserably :-( I had 21 day cycle last month, and initially I was very upset that my body was playing up, but then I had the thought that I was just getting my cycle sorted so that my ovulation matched my lunar cycle when I am meant to be most fertile due to astrology - so I trusted that a much bigger picture was at work and trusted that I needed that short cycle.
Then I did a heap of visualisation, I pictured my uterine lining building up a beautiful luscious home for my little one, picturd my ovaries producing a robust, healthy egg, I said a billion affirmations, I loved my body, I pictured the BFP etc etc. I felt AMAZING and I'm pretty sure I know the date I fell, because that next day I had these waves of 'knowing' washing over me.
Then when I got a BFN on the day AF was due, I fell to pieces. I was so sure, and I let it devastate me. I lost the trust that all was OK. I then went into massive doubt about my ability to fall pregnant - I am 42, have been told previously that I am infertile and about to go through menopause - my Mum went through menopause at 41, so when I didn't get my period and got BFNs I was so upset that I thought that was it - I was done. How little trust I have!
I even knew the timing was perfect because I fell almost on this exact date two years ago and even though it ended as an MMC, it was a sign that I wasn't infertile, and I believe the same little soul has come back.
So the happiness hasn't kicked in yet - I'm just thinking how much happier I could have been over the last week if I just trusted instead of immediately doubting myself and my body :-( Lots of lessons in this and I'm sure the happy will come very soon!!
Thank you so much for your support and I know your BFP is just around the corner.