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  1. #1
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    Default Baby as a result of one night stand, help needed on child support & custody questions

    Hi all.
    (Not sure where to post this; mods please move if need be.)
    My friend, 29 years old had a one night stand & is now 5 weeks pregnant as a result. The 'father' was very supportive as long as he thought she was going to have a termination (she considered it as one of her options), however, after much soul searching she has decided to keep the baby. She let him know her decision & said that she understands if he doesn't want to be involved & asked for his family's medical history. Since deciding to keep the baby he has become really nasty. He told her today (via text) that if she put his name on the birth certificate & went for child support that both his parents are lawyers & that they would go for full custody & keep it in the courts for years until they won then they would adopt the child out against her will. Obviously this guy has his head so far up his ar$e that he cannot see straight. I think his threats are basically empty & that there is no way a court in Aus would let a child be adopted out against a loving, caring mother's will. I think this guy is just trying to scare her into not going for child support. She has said already, after his attitude & making it clear he wants nothing to do with the child that if putting his name on the birth certificate means that he will go for some custody then she is happy not to do so. Obviously it's so early on in her pregnancy & she has so much to deal with I want to be there to support her as best as possible. So, any lawyers out there? Anyone else with any experience? Does this guy have a legal leg to stand on? Would he ever get full custody & be able to adopt the child out against her will? Poor thing is in a real state over it. TIA

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    mim  (08-10-2014)

  3. #2
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    Im no help other than to say what an ***. Hope you friend gets the answers she needs. How horrible for her.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    ertgirl  (27-11-2013)

  5. #3
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    Well, at least he put his threats in writing... What an a******!!!

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  7. #4
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    I have no idea on any legalities but from reading numerous bubhub threads, make sure she keeps those txts. It will show his attitude and would make it less of a 'he said she said' Game if it ever can't down to it.

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  9. #5
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    I know! That's my thoughts exactly. Bh safe words aren't strong enough to describe him. My friend is a very sweet person & is beautiful with our son. She will make a lovely mum. I've told her to note every communication with him; threats & all.

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    I'm not a lawyer, but I would advise your friend to keep record of all messages he sends.


    Married to my soul mate, Mummy to one beautiful little girl, wishing for a little boy to complete our family.

  11. #7
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    what a dog. (oh wait, insulting actual dogs here...). she's way better off without him in their lives. When he one day hopefully regrets not being in his child's life, it will serve him right. there is nothing more beautiful than having a relationship than with a child that is yours. he won't be able to undo not being there.

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    I am not a lawyer but I do have professional and personal experience with the family law court. There is no family law court in Australia who is going to give an obviously emotionally abusive man full custody of a child. Family law courts are moving away from the 50/50 shared care model as well as they focus on what is in the best interests of the child not what is a 'fair amount of time' for the parents. I would suggest your friend not give the child his name even if he is on the birth certificate as I suspect in the future he probably will have little to do with this child. Make sure she photographs and backs up all texts/emails and limits any phone conversation with him. Perhaps she can call his bluff and let him know that her uncle is a highly reputable barrister That man sounds like he needs to fall in a hole.
    Last edited by BbBbBh; 28-11-2013 at 04:57. Reason: not making sense

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  14. #9
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    The share custody issue will depend on specific factors, but there's no way he will be able to adopt out a baby against her will! She is the mother, it simply won't happen.

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    I think 5 weeks is still early and not the time to be pushing things with the baby daddy. Your friend should be relaxing and looking after herself. Closer to bub coming she can make a call on the birth certificate etc, who knows the dad might have grown up by then.

    Oh, I would seek legal assistance before deciding on the birth certificate issue/contacting the dad again.

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