Our daycare has kids pinching things from it all the time and its amazing how many parents just don't notice so as a result, any matchbox cars we put out usually disappear within the week so I can totally understand the pg leader's frustration. Despite that, we will often let the parents take something home to borrow to avoid the tantrum and bring it back the next time. The child is taught that it is only borrowing and must be returned and the frustrated parent gets some slack. The difference is that the parents ask nicely and tell us the situation instead of just expecting us to hand out our toys to children who feel entitled to take them. If you want a friendly hand it generally pays to ask in a friendly manner.
God! If my kids were like that I'd be telling them off that's for damn sure.
Reminds me of the time I let ds1 play on the keyboard of a turned off computer in the local library - I knew it was wrong but I was just sooooooo pregnant and drained emotionally I just could say no for the hundredth time that day... An elderly lady lady asked me to stop ds1 and I burst into tears I was so embarrassed and emo - so I get it even though its lazy parenting we all have these so wrong and so awkward times
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I've been there a million times, where I can't be dealing with an (autistic) meltdown over something silly like that. I still wouldn't let my DS2 just take whatever he wants whenever he wants. It is just setting myself up for even worse meltdowns in the future. Honestly, kids need to know they can't always have everything they want.
I sometimes allow kids who are visiting us to take home a toy if they have become attached to it during their play, and yes it is sometimes to avoid a tanty for their mum (my friend).
The difference is - the child has 'permission' to take it and knows that they have to return it in time, and they have to take good care of it when they have it in their possession.
The toy wasn't allowed to leave the playgroup because other kids would miss out... thems the rules.
One time my eldest daughter had orientation day at prep and I had my son and other daughter with me, son was 2 at the time. Well he as playing with some toy cars in the class room and when it was time to go, I told him to put the cars back. He went mental and there were other mums and kids around. The teacher said "its ok he can take one home, there's plenty here anway" I said "are you sure" she said "yes, its ok" (I think she could see I was getting annoyed with the tantrum). I told him to say thankyou and all that. I wouldn't allow him to take anything without permission though.
She wasn't/isn't a struggling, fragile parent who I decided to write a thread about to poke fun at or mock- I found her to be rude. Her behaviour is going to have a lasting effect on that boy and her attitude will be very detrimental to shaping him as a good and decent person.
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