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  1. #441
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    Why do I do this to myself. I was all ready to go ahead with my chosen donor and I thought to myself, I'll just check again in case there have been new profiles added. And there were, and now I'm second guessing my choice. I'm conflicted about choosing someone who looks just like me but smokes (says she'll stop while cycling) and has donated before, against someone who looks nothing like me, has perfect health but has never donated before.

    What do I do?

  2. #442
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    Esperanza - how old are they? And the proven donor did her past cycles result in a live birth? How many donation cycles has she done?

  3. #443
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    Hi Emski - The one who looks like me and smokes is 27 and has done 1 previous cycle, with another coming up in February and then she is available April/May. It didn't say the outcome of the cycle just says outcome pending.

    The donor who hasn't donated before, doesn't look like me is 21. My husband wants to go with the 21yo because her health is pretty clear, but I can't help but feel I need the donor to look like me. Which I know is ridiculous because there is no guarantee even then that they will look like me anyway. But am I willing to sacrifice a healthy donor because of looks? Arrgh it's so mentally draining.

    I know the smoker has said she will stop while cycling but how can you really know.
    Last edited by Esperanza; 25-01-2014 at 12:32.

  4. #444
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    It sounds like its a gut feel decision over head ... can you ask your CFC doctor for advice?

  5. #445
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    Esperanza .. We had the same debate with our initial choice and now again with our second choice.
    In the end we went with the criteria our FS here in Australia suggested which was donor aged under 30 AND a non smoker. He explained that while it helps that they stop smoking for a cycle it is better (for quality of eggs) if they don't smoke at all. FS (Wazza) said Smoking has an oxidating effect on eggs and they would need to have stopped smoking for at least 3-6 months for it to make a real difference.
    I also struggled with the idea that the donor didn't have any similarities to me but after 'people watching' I realised that often kids don't bear an 'identical image ' to their parents, sure there will be similarities but often there are 'throw backs' from generations past. I could also use my own family as an example. I am one of 5 and of us only one shares a 'definite' resemblance to even one parent. The rest of us have at most one physical feature that matches a parent ... Temperament however (stubbornness ) is a whole different thing of course but chances are that's a learned trait too..

  6. #446
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    If you are still debating you can ask your agency to find out the results of her previous donation. The should be able to tell you how many eggs she got and what the result was ...
    Alternatively you could ask for initial testing to include AMH test which should give you a better indication of things.

  7. #447
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    Thanks emski and blinky. I never thought it would be so hard. My husband sat me down and asked what was the one thing we always wanted from the beginning, and I knew, a happy and healthy baby. In the end, looks don't matter.

    Wow this stuff really messes with your head, I guess I forgot why I was doing this. For that little bundle of joy. Nothing else. Crisis diverted. Thank you so much ladies. I'm going to go with my original gut feeling and stay away from the profiles now.
    Last edited by Esperanza; 25-01-2014 at 14:13.

  8. #448
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    No problems
    Your right, it is easy to make the decision an entirely emotional one, which in turn can make the decision heartbreakingly difficult.

    Dare I admit it, that perhaps our DH's are sometimes better equipped at making completely logical decisions based on end goals.
    Just hold onto the mantra your husband mentioned ('happy, healthy baby').

    I also found it safer to keep away from the profiles once you have made a choice.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to Blinky76 For This Useful Post:

    emski72  (25-01-2014)

  10. #449
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    Ladies, I haven't read this here but I know if you go with the international pharmacy the meds are about $550. My specialist gave me a script and I filled it yesterday and its only cost me $25.50 for the estrogen tablets and for 2 bottles of synarel $73.80. As my private health is bridging the gap of the $121.40 cost of each synarel bottle and all I need to pay is the PBS rate of $36.90.

    It is worth looking to what your phi will pay because its a huge saving.

  11. #450
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    Thanks Angel . My FS here wrote me scripts for all except the progesterone needles so that I wouldn't have to go through the international pharmacy.
    (Plus I have ALOT leftover from my last cancelled IVF in November : progynova, crinone, progesterone pessaries, estrogen tablets, Clexane, feldene etc)


 

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