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  1. #21
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    i still havent spoken to him. according to her fb they had an incredible time on saturday night and spent the night together. i have since blocked them both. my heart is completely aching and i havent cracked a f***ing smile yet. im absolutely and completely destroyed. im STILL nauseous. im bloody sick of it, my stomach is always in my throat. my family are being supportive and im always on the phone to someone, coz i just cant handle this. my ex is seemingly oblivious to this...or doesnt care. he is over the f***ing moon with his new trash bag, and partying and going out places. well i'm just F***ING THRILLED FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how great would it be to be him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! im anxiety riddled all the f***ing time!!!!!!! this is horrible, im honestly not like this usually, but this is so overwhelming i just cant process it. my poor children. someone please tell me this feeling will atleast dull slightly, because i can not handle it for another day.

  2. #22
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    It feels like emotional rape to be betrayed like this. What you're feeling is completely justified and normal. It will definitely go away hon, maybe you need to burn any of his stuff that you still have lol or leave it on the street and tell tect him telling him to come get it. if he doesn't no biggy I'm sure someone on their way past might like it I don't know what will help in the interim but I do know that this feeling won't last. Your heart and mind are just trying to play catch up and it hurts, it would help if he was at least sorry but he's not. So please no matter what- remember this and don't let him come back ever. Maybe just refuse to see of speak to him for a while. Change you furniture around. Change some things just to make it feel fresh and erase any trace of that pos that you possibly can. Hugs** hold on, it gets easier i promise.

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    experience88  (26-11-2013)

  4. #23
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    oh you're speaking to my soul!!
    that's the thing, the words 'upset' or 'sad', dont even nearly cut it. it's cruel and brutal.. and you're right, the fact he isnt sorry is definitely an aggravating factor.

    i read back on my posts and they seem so dramatic that it actually makes me cringe lol... but i can't express it any other way... i hope they end up not working out and he is effing miserable. lol im so hungry for revenge

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  6. #24
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    i've had zero contact with him, ive decided with our/his history, i need to cut him off. he doesnt care.. apparently, has no desire to speak to the kids it seems.

    he has my stroller, so i bought a new one today. i'd rather buy a new one than ask him for it back. he lives an hr away anyway. i dont wanna see him, i'd throw something at his car, and then it'd be going backwards, instead of progress.

  7. #25
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    it definitely gets easier. But it does take a long time to get over completely, if you ever actually do.

    I think you've done the right thing by blocking them on FB. I know what it's like, you can't help yourself and look, even when you know you shouldn't! Best thing I ever did was block the ex and his s.kank.

    It's a terrible feeling, I know too well. But you need to stay strong and focus on your children. They only have you now, so 'fake it until you make it' with a smile. Try not to let them pick up on your negative vibes, they don't need it. X

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    experience88  (26-11-2013),KaraB  (26-11-2013)

  9. #26
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    Yeah not the car. I was thinking more if he had clothes and stuff there, I would make a bonfire out of it haha. Make it like a cleansing ritual of sorts.

  10. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    it definitely gets easier. But it does take a long time to get over completely, if you ever actually do.

    I think you've done the right thing by blocking them on FB. I know what it's like, you can't help yourself and look, even when you know you shouldn't! Best thing I ever did was block the ex and his s.kank.

    It's a terrible feeling, I know too well. But you need to stay strong and focus on your children. They only have you now, so 'fake it until you make it' with a smile. Try not to let them pick up on your negative vibes, they don't need it. X
    thanks and again, it's good to know that you also have been through a similar experience.

    KaraB
    Yeah not the car. I was thinking more if he had clothes and stuff there, I would make a bonfire out of it haha. Make it like a cleansing ritual of sorts.
    it's funny coz like.. everything remind me of him. he has clothes here, he reorganised the garage for himself, he bought a broom the other day which bloody reminds me of him...everything. i'd have to move house to start feeling 'fresh' i reckon...

  11. #28
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    I haven't read all the responses, but that's almost exactly what my ex did a couple of years ago. We were the same as you-living apart, technically separated, but still "kind of" together- spending a lot of time as a family, etc. He was talking about wanting to get back together, coming around all the time. In fact he acted as though we were still very much a couple.

    Then- I find out he was seeing someone else the whole time!! Well, I don't know how long exactly, but obviously a while. I was so mad- even though in my case I was still pretty unsure about whether I wanted to give it another go properly, the point was that he had behaved, in every way, as though he really wanted to be with us. Rambling on about how he needs to be there when the kids wake up in the morning, etc...yeah right.

    I can totally relate to your feelings of fury and betrayal. It's a horrible, horrible thing, and like you I thought it would never fade. He moved this silly little ditz of a girlfriend in almost straight away and spending time with the kids became less and less important to him over time. He sees them two nights a week now, doesn't call on the other days, tries to get out of what little time he does have with them- right now I'm fuming because he is refusing to pick up one of them from school today, despite it being his day- - and all the way along has acted as though he is father of the year and we should be grateful for the precious little he does for the kids. I wish I could say it's got better in that respect for me, but I'd be lying

    I have however learnt to deal with the feelings I have about him. He still drives me mad but I don't feel like I'm going to explode with anger every day. He and the ditz are still together, and I've come to accept that she is around and will be for god knows how long- until she grows up, I guess. As someone else said, he had her on the side and was keeping you hanging until he found out whether she was a definite thing. I feel that's exactly what my ex did. Whatever you do, do not give him another chance. See it as a form of relief- you know for certain what he is now, you don't need to live in limbo, you can cut him loose now, go through the process of recovery and start moving on with the rest of your life. Hugs.

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  13. #29
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    I have been betrayed in a similar way I was lucky no children were involved. All I can say is that you are going to feel like real crap for a while, face that head first. Then one day you will wake up and it just won't hurt as much anymore (took me four months), from that day it just gets easier.

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  15. #30
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    Hey OP, how are you going? Are to feeling any better at all?


 

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