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  1. #1
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    Default 4 yr history, perplexing, new fling

    ok so over the last 4 or 5 years i have posted so many times about my kids w*anker dad. without going into all the ridiculousness and horribleness that has gone one, i'll sum it up.
    so ex and i broke up 19months ago, i moved and got my own place with the kids but basically he and i never stopped dating/sleeping together/having family time and outings. so really, we have been casually dating on and off for the last 4 years and neither of us met or got involved with anyone else. in the last month we decided we would finally just get back together and we'd been discussing when he was going to move into my place. he spoke to his housemates and told them he was going to be moving soon, and i spoke to my family to let them know and was reorganising stuff in the house too accommodate him. he also cleaned out the garage too, which was a big task. so everything was great, we had a really good family day last sunday together, and then after an arguement on the phone sunday night, we didnt speak til thursday. he then told me why he was so weird and hadnt really been speaking to me, the reason was.... "im kind of seeing someone" . my reply... "what?!?! in the last FOUR DAYS?!?!?!?!?!?"
    obviously, that's not the case, but im perplexed and hurt beyond f***ing belief. why the HELL would he fully commit himself to me and our family? why would he pursue someone else when we are basically in a friggin relationship? was he sleeping with me and someone else at the same time? he has since gone one to tell me "this is only a very very recent thing... im not in a relationship with her... and im taking a big risk by cutting it off with you.. but... i might have stronger feelings for her than you".. like, literally, WTF. he has completely played me for the fool, treated me like absolute and complete rubbish, f***ed my kids around and embarrassed me infront of my family. i have been feeling nauseous for nearly 3 days. im disgusted by this and i didnt see it coming in a million years.
    i know im not the first person this has ever happened to, but ive never experienced such revolting behavour before and i CANT WRAP MY MIND AROUND IT!!!! i'm holding myself together by every now and then it is too much and i just have to crrryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy my eyes out. i feel like cr.ap really.
    can i just get some encouraging words and KNOW that im not alone in this and other women have been through it too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant handle the anger im feeling

  2. #2
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    Oh no. I know you have kids with this guy but cut your losses- find a guy who will treat you and your kids well. Wtf is with "seeing" someone when your kids are excited about their mum and dad living together- that's just crazy crazy. You deserve much better.

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  4. #3
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    wow, what an absolute pig. huge hugs.

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  6. #4
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    What a moron, I'm sorry but I'm not actually dating her, hasn't been that long, but his feelings are stronger??? Stronger than his family reconciling?? Gah, some men make me friggin mad. You are obviously a considerate, giving and selfless person to have kept a relationship up with him after splitting, and he is a royal twit not see how darn lucky he was. You seriously deserve much better, you and your kids are not disposible. I understand the way you are feeling. It's so overwhelming and consuming, and you wonder how you will ever recover and come out the same person, you will, like everything ..it too shall pass. And the positive of it is the super kick **** strength you get eventually from being so disrespected. Take the energy and put it into something awesome for yourself... New starts, being awesome is the best revenge... And his little fling thing will probably dump his **** anyway. I hope you find your peace. X

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  8. #5
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    Ouch that is beyond cruel... So sorry to hear, there is no excuse for being treated that way x

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  10. #6
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    Hugs x

  11. #7
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    You and her would be better off without him. Who gets another woman when he us supposed to be getting back together with you ! Who does that? Run don't walk baby ...

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  13. #8
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    That's really horrible!! I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Like others have said it sounds like your better off without him. You deserve better than that. I can't see his new relationship lasting if its started on a lie and so when he comes crawling back just remember your worth more than that and your better off without him. Big hugs!!

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  15. #9
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    He will absolutely come crawling back when it doesn't work with her. I truly hope you're strong enough to say no, you and your children deserve better than that. How dare he get their hopes up of the family living together again, all while he was seeing someone else?!

    Sorry to be blunt, but yes he was sleeping with both of you. He was keeping you around in case she was just a fling. Turns out he thinks she isn't, so is giving her a 'proper go'. He 'thinks' his feelings are stronger for her? He's just devastated his children again for her, he's not worth it.

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  17. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    He will absolutely come crawling back when it doesn't work with her. I truly hope you're strong enough to say no, you and your children deserve better than that. How dare he get their hopes up of the family living together again, all while he was seeing someone else?!

    Sorry to be blunt, but yes he was sleeping with both of you. He was keeping you around in case she was just a fling. Turns out he thinks she isn't, so is giving her a 'proper go'. He 'thinks' his feelings are stronger for her? He's just devastated his children again for her, he's not worth it.
    Exactly. Try to step back from this enotionally for a second and imagine this is happening to someone else you care about- say your daughter as an adult. Now how is his behavior looking to you? There is no excuse, nothing he can say or do from here that makes any of this ok. He has basically been using you and his family until 'something better comes along' (-in his mind), or in case that other thing doesn't 'work out'. To bring his children into it to such a degree is despicable!! He's a an immature man child. Fancy telling you how much of a risk he's taking leaving you all for her. I bet you're just swooning right? Like oh gee, well that's alright then. Omg. He deserves all the care and consideration that he has afforded you which is exactly none! My advice would be to calmly tell him exactly what his little risk has done for his future chances with you- that all trust is gone and you won't be speaking to him at all unless it is unavoidable and to do with the children. And then do exactly that. Do not let him back into your heart/bed/home literally and figuratively. He has no place in it and doesn't deserve it. Anything he has to say after what he has done should be taken with a bucket load of salt. He is full of sh*t and not worthy.
    Last edited by KaraB; 24-11-2013 at 10:17.

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