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  1. #1
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    Default Smacking, removing toys not working - how do we get her to stay in bed???

    Dh and i would like some advice or other parents experiences on how to handle getting or 3 year old dd to stay in bed.

    She has a bedtime routine and once we say goodnight, we warn her to stay in bed or she looses her teddy bears and close the door.

    Within seconds she opens the door, rolls around on the floor, plays with pillows, reads books etc and when we catch her, dh will remove her teddys that she sleeps with and warn her if she gets up again, she will get a smack and that its bedtime.

    She always gets up again, so he will smack her and this can go on for hours with her getting multiple smacks on the backside.

    We both hate the smacking and it doesnt appear to be working as she keeps coming out.

    Ive tried telling her she wont watch any pepper pig the next day or be allowed to play with a certain toy etc, but makes no difference.

    Im really not sure what else we can do.

    I have thought of just letting her read etc quietly in her room (she does this in the doorway) and virtually ignoring her until she is ready for sleep but we feel then she is getting away with it and makes a mockery of her bedtime

    Currently she is making grunting noises and ive just checked on her and she has changed her top :/

    Please some advice? Thanks.

  2. #2
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    Will she go to sleep if one of you sits in the room with her?

    Have you tried positive reinforcement? (Stay in bed and you get XYZ)

    Is she just not tired? A later bedtime maybe?

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    SoThisIsLove  (21-11-2013)

  4. #3
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    What time is she being put to bed? Is she having a day sleep still? What time does she get up in the mornings?

    It sounds as though she's not tired at the time she's put to bed.

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  6. #4
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    Shes a great sleeper once shes asleep, always has been.

    She goes down around 7:30, 8.

    She still has a nap in the afternoons as she is clearly tired and gets really naughty from over tiredness if she doesnt. She sometimes even tells me shes tired.

    Perhaps she is getting too much sleep tho, maybe dropping the day nap and putting her to bed earlier might help? I dunno ive tried that before and she seems to get over tired and still play up....might be worth another shot tho.

    I hate all this smacking out of frustration

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    My DD did the same at around that age. It went on a few months and then one night out of pure frustration DH just sat down on her bed, shut his eyes and ignored her. To our surprise she got back in bed and stayed there. From that point on we sat on her bed and stayed there til she fell asleep. Over the next few months we started saying we were just going to do xyz and would be back. She started staying in her bed and going to sleep. Now she goes to bed with no dramas

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    SoThisIsLove  (21-11-2013)

  9. #6
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    How frustrating! Is she staying in her room? What happens if you do the opposite ie don't check in on her, just ignore her etc? It sounds like a game for attention at the moment...

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    Id drop the day nap or have the day nap around lunch to early afternoon for 1 hour only like they do in daycares. But yes I agree shes not tired. I would then pull bedtime back to 7pm

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    Well you wrote this at 9.30 or so, so yes it's late nd I understand your frustration. DS is the same most nights, very frustrating but I usually hop in bed with him and read books to get him to relax, I then get him some milk and his eyes start to droop while drinking it. It's much easier on the days he doesn't nap, he's asleep by 7! But I don't force him not to nap in the day if he needs it. It's a hard age for that reason.

    Are you sure she's not overtired? What time do you get her ready for bed?

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    SoThisIsLove  (21-11-2013)

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    I don't have much advice DS 2.5 is giving us a few troubles at bedtime too. He isn't getting out of bed though or coming out of his room, he's just lying awake chatting to himself for AGES then throws his pillow, blanket, teddy and dummy on the floor and whinges until we come in. Finally we go in and I get him to pick it up himself and get back into bed. We kept going in over and over at first but now I leave it as long as I can and the past 2 nights I've only gone in once.

    What about if you try ignoring her? Like if she comes out make it clear she has to go back to bed and then ignore her?

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    My kids can randomly stay up late - sometimes for no particularly good reason, day sleep or not, busy day or not, and if bedtime just isn't working we get up for another half hour (or so) until I think they are actually tired. Though I can tell pretty quickly with both if they're tired or if they really aren't.

    Though we haven't had any kind of strict bedtimes.

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