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  1. #1
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    Default Stress at work & pregnant

    I have issues with my manager & other things at work. It's causing me huge amounts of stress & I'm 7wks 4 days pregnant so I'm concerned about the effect it could have on the baby.

    Does anyone have any ideas as to what I could do? I've spoken to my supervisor about the other things, but did not speak to her about the issues with my manager as I barely know her & didn't feel comfortable approaching her about it.

    I actually have an appointment booked with HR tomorrow but I'm thinking about cancelling it because I don't feel like I can just go in there & complain about my boss. I'm sure that won't look good for me in terms of my employment future with the company & a reference.

    I call the employee assistance program but all they could really suggest was to try & stay calm.

    I feel like my emotions are all over the place at the moment due to pregnancy & none of this is helping. I had a massive melt-down last night & I was ready to go in to work today & collect my things but DH managed to talk me round. We hadn't really planned on being on one wage this early & it's really not a good time for me to be changing jobs - I find that stressful as well cause every job I've ever worked in I've just been thrown in the deep end on my first day & I don't deal with that well.

    I just have absolutely no idea what to do & I am really concerned about this stress causing me to lose the baby. There is no end in sight in terms of the stress either. To be honest I'm ready to just walk out of that place & say 'good riddance' but I have no clue how I'm going to get another job at the moment.

    What should I do??

  2. #2
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    It's hard to make suggestions without knowing what kind of stress OP? What are the issues with your manager? How long has it been going on? Has it changed since you've been pregnant?

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    Keep the meeting with HR. They will help you resolve it.

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    It's been going on since the start of the year when the manager started. She is based elsewhere & we rarely see her. She basically shows no interest in our team at all & leaves us to look after ourselves. Our team is basically falling apart because of this lack of management & other people (including me) are shouldering a lot more of the burden of trying to keep some level of organisation etc in the team & this is extremely stressful. And then the manager goes around telling everyone that our team is a 'complete mess' or 'complete disaster' & that we are a 'totally disorganised' etc. Our team was fine previously when we had a good boss. She is also completely uncontactable half the time, really abrupt & rude when she speaks to everyone & likes to blame her mistakes on us. That's it in a nutshell.

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    I agree with kW keep the HR meeting. It's important that you have a chance to resolve things. Also try not to go up the assumption ladder with what could, might happen. Stressing about money can also be very stressful and trying to get a new job whilst pregnant could be hugely stressful. Take a long weekend to refresh and regroup and keep with positive people. Also try to take a relaxed approach, who cares what she says and focus on your own work rather than perceptions of others.

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    Definitely keep the appointment with HR and make sure you have specific examples about what you are complaining of.

    I find it helps to start things on a positive note and identify some strengths such as "I really like the people in our team and management are usually very approachable, however..."

  7. #7
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    I Wont touch on the work issue but-
    There was a big study on women who lost their husbands during the Sept 11 terrorist attacks that were pregnant. There were no adverse effects on babies even though the women were under the most enormous stress possible.

  8. #8
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    I'm a manager at work and staff often come to me for advice on problems with their supervisor/manage. When they are venting and talking about kicking up a stink I generally advise them "how you handle a disagreement with your boss can potentially make or break your chances of promotion in the near term."

    If someone goes of half cocked complaining to other people and lodging complaints before they have had a real crack at fixing things with their boss then to me that's a sign of potential immaturity, lack of negotiation skills, lack of resilience and inability to think outside the box.

    On the other hand if someone took a different approach it could very well end up being a big plus for their résumé.

    I advise people to put themselves in the other persons shoes. Perhaps the other person has something going on in their personal life? (Dying parent, sick child etc). Perhaps when they were managing a different area they had people complain they were micro-managing and now they are afraid and going the opposite way of being too hands off. Perhaps they have been levied with deadlines by senior management that the workers aren't aware of. I advise staff that whenever they raise a problem, to always raise a solution.

    - For example in your case I would book a one on one chat with the manager. Say you are worried about some things in the workplace and wanted to toss up a few suggestions with them. Don't say "you aren't doing this" or "you need to do blah." Say "things are quite hectic in the workplace, I don't think people know what they are supposed to be doing and this is causing stress. I had an idea about creating a roster, but wanted to get your thoughts. Sorry if this is something you are already looking into." Ask your boss if there is anything you can do to help them. Don't demand action right away, let them save face, think about the issues and come up with a bigger picture plan all on their own

    It's hard to work yourself up to do something like this. But it can pay off. And I find that trying to put myself in the other persons shoes and forcing myself to be 'on their side' actually helps me relax and calm down.

    Good luck with work and bubba...

  9. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Jellyfishie  (20-11-2013),LilCritter  (08-12-2013)

  10. #9
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    @VicPark I wish you were a manager where I worked! The ones I have to deal with are usually hopeless..!

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kw123 For This Useful Post:

    JR03  (20-11-2013),VicPark  (21-11-2013)


 

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