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  1. #41
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    At my younger brothers funeral I had to take DS but he was only 10 weeks. My older brother had to take his. They where about 12m and 3y and it was really nice they could be there. They made people smile as kids do and it was kind of like having some light on a dark day. Like life goes on kind of thing. I know having my DS there made people happy at such a tragic event.

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  3. #42
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    death is a part of life

    but funerals are about the people who are left grieving and respecting the one who has passed. So I think if you are taking children, it should be with due care and respect.

    In the situation where it is a small family funeral, and there are a number of members of the family who will have no real options but to take their kids ... then they should. But make sure that your DH doesnt let them disrupt the service/grieving of the other family members.

    So sorry for your loss

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    I took my DD to two funerals when she was 18 mths - 2 years and she was fine. Any time she got restless I just took her outside. It cheers people up seeing children I think. Breaks the ice when everyone's making awkward conversation afterwards.

    I'm sorry for your loss.

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    I would take them. I've taken my children to numerous funerals - my beloved Grandfather died when my DD was 9 months old and he requested that he be buried with a photo of her in his breast pocket. I know when my Grandmother passes, there will a certain faction that will not want my children to attend, but Gran has already been in my ear and they will attend.

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    I'd take them.
    Children are people too. They are part of the family and have just as much a right to be there as any body else.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sockstealingpoltergeist View Post
    I'd take them.
    Children are people too. They are part of the family and have just as much a right to be there as any body else.
    This.

    My ds isn't quite 3 and had been to 2 funerals. he was about 11 mnths and 21 mnths.

    I just took the pram, and sat up the back, if he made a noise he was taken out, calmed, and brought back in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KatiesMum View Post

    but funerals are about the people who are left grieving and respecting the one who has passed. So I think if you are taking children, it should be with due care and respect.
    This. People at funerals are already in such a highly fragile and emotional state, and trying to say their last goodbyes to their loved one. Having children running up and down aisles and making a lot of noise needs patience to ignore; I'm not sure how much patience people are expected to have while they're grieving.
    I can't believe PP's are saying that people need to suck it up and know that 'kids will be kids' So disrespectful IMO.

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    I agree with Sassy that you don't just take kids to anyones funeral, but if those kids are close to the person who has died, then yes - they have as much right to be there as anyone else.

    The attitude that children shouldn't be at funerals smacks of the old days when children were seen and not heard, or adults took it on themselves to decide for the child that they weren't able to cope with death or thought children were too annoying for others a funerals (because adults are more important and children come 2nd), and there are generations of older people who couldn't say good bye and grieve properly for their loved ones. Ask anyone in the older generation who lost a parent young, and most likely they were not allowed to attend their parents funeral and most likely they were devastated by it. I know this is what happened in my parents generation and before that.

    Kids should be able to say goodbye to those they love, they are no less important than an adult. To even imply they are is just wrong.

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    I took my then 18 month old to my gran's funeral. We just timed things so he was napping in his stroller at the start. Hubby was up the back with the stroller to make a quick exit if needed. As it turns out they made it most of the way, only had to leave for the last 10 mins. DS went to the 'wake' afterwards. Yeah he was running around and that was a pain but most people got a big kick out of seeing a happy energetic toddler at what was essentially a sad time.

    So for me, as long as your hubby is on kid duty and is happy to remove them at any stage, I don't see the big deal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    This. People at funerals are already in such a highly fragile and emotional state, and trying to say their last goodbyes to their loved one. Having children running up and down aisles and making a lot of noise needs patience to ignore; I'm not sure how much patience people are expected to have while they're grieving.
    I can't believe PP's are saying that people need to suck it up and know that 'kids will be kids' So disrespectful IMO.
    I don't think it's disrespectful. Children have a right to the grieving pro ess as do parents of the children.

    Most people would take a child who was being fussy etc out of the funeral.

    I think it's extremely rude and prejudice against parents and children to say children can't attend.

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