I was thinking about this last night, and realized the reason the phrase 'motherhood isn't a vocation, it's a relationship' resonated so much.
Now this is going to be an extremely unpopular view I'm sure but... I don't actually believe that parenting shapes people all that much (sorry Freud!), so I don't think it's even close to the most important job in the world. I think children are influenced by a whole range of things- personality, birth order, society and culture, their own health and abilities, what their wider family is like (so for eg whether their parents fight a lot) as WELL as how they are directly parented. So even if how they are raised is the number one most important influence on how they turn out (and I don't know if that's true), it's still not a huge piece of the puzzle.
I think all kids need is to be safe, loved and well looked after. And that's it. Breast feeding, BLW, controlled crying, attachment parenting, no tv, no junk food, hothousing kids, lots of extracurricular activities, no extracurricular activities, private school, public school, let them drink before they're 18, lock them up till they're 18. They are all tiny little decisions that make up a tiny part of who they become. I think in the modern world we worry about it all far far too much, fretting over all these things, reading countless articles and discussing it all ad nauseam and have put parenting on this pedestal when really, just love them and they will be fine. It's actually not as hard or important as we make it out to be.