+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 13 FirstFirst ... 34567 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 129
  1. #41
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I was thinking about this last night, and realized the reason the phrase 'motherhood isn't a vocation, it's a relationship' resonated so much.
    Now this is going to be an extremely unpopular view I'm sure but... I don't actually believe that parenting shapes people all that much (sorry Freud!), so I don't think it's even close to the most important job in the world. I think children are influenced by a whole range of things- personality, birth order, society and culture, their own health and abilities, what their wider family is like (so for eg whether their parents fight a lot) as WELL as how they are directly parented. So even if how they are raised is the number one most important influence on how they turn out (and I don't know if that's true), it's still not a huge piece of the puzzle.
    I think all kids need is to be safe, loved and well looked after. And that's it. Breast feeding, BLW, controlled crying, attachment parenting, no tv, no junk food, hothousing kids, lots of extracurricular activities, no extracurricular activities, private school, public school, let them drink before they're 18, lock them up till they're 18. They are all tiny little decisions that make up a tiny part of who they become. I think in the modern world we worry about it all far far too much, fretting over all these things, reading countless articles and discussing it all ad nauseam and have put parenting on this pedestal when really, just love them and they will be fine. It's actually not as hard or important as we make it out to be.

  2. The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to FearlessLeader For This Useful Post:

    bitterpure  (19-11-2013),bugsy  (19-11-2013),Curby  (19-11-2013),ExcuseMyFrench  (19-11-2013),ginzy89  (19-11-2013),Hamilicious  (19-11-2013),Joeee  (19-11-2013),kw123  (19-11-2013),NoteToSelf  (19-11-2013),Renn  (19-11-2013),shelle65  (19-11-2013),snowqu33n  (19-11-2013)

  3. #42
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I actually agree with that to some degree. I chose to have my kids, we want another. But the truth is, there is a lot of work involved with being a parent. And not just the direct tasks of making lunch for them, bfing, changing their nappy. But the mountain of washing, the P&C meetings at school, helping with homework.

    I would agree parenting is a relationship, but caring for them is a job. A hard one sometimes, and that's the case no matter your employment status.
    I agree with this, the day to day is actual hard work.

  4. #43
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Tenambit.
    Posts
    9,037
    Thanks
    1,564
    Thanked
    2,936
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I actually agree with that to some degree. I chose to have my kids, we want another. But the truth is, there is a lot of work involved with being a parent. And not just the direct tasks of making lunch for them, bfing, changing their nappy. But the mountain of washing, the P&C meetings at school, helping with homework.

    I would agree parenting is a relationship, but caring for them is a job. A hard one sometimes, and that's the case no matter your employment status.
    ..and I guess that is one of her points? The line, "Parenting can be hard work" is interpreted differently than, "Being a mother is the most important job in the world"

    Maybe there is some bitterness underneath it all? Maybe, as a single mum to 3, who gets out there - maybe Catherine has received criticism that she should be at home filling her role as a mother, as that is 'the most important' thing for her to be doing. Maybe?
    She debates a great deal of 'traditionalists' in her travels. And guess she is trying to break down some stereotypes?

  5. #44
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I agree with most of the article - it really bugs me when people say being a SAHM is "the most important job in the world". Or "the hardest job in the world".

    When people say being a mother is the hardest thing they've done I'd have to agree. I find it the most challenging thing I've experienced but this includes work. I'm a mother even when I work and I do find the 'most important/hardest job in the world' catchphrase is generally deliberately leaving out large groups of people including mothers who can't be with their children 24/7, fathers, and lots of people with, let's face it, sh!tty jobs where their or other's lives are at risk. I think that would be pretty bl00dy hard and stressful as well as important.

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    Arlais  (19-11-2013)

  7. #45
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Does anyone else feel that the 'most important job in the world' title could also add to the culture of guilt that mothers seem to have? I feel my role is important, but IMO no more or less important than all of the other members of our family. If mine were the most important then if I fk up it's all on me. I don't buy it.

  8. #46
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,427
    Thanks
    497
    Thanked
    1,588
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I really liked the article and as some PP have mentioned the sentence ` It’s not a vocation either – being a mother is a relationship.' really resonated with me.

    When I hear things like Motherhood (bleugh...parenthood!!!) is the hardest job in the world, I think I must not be doing it right. It's not a job, it's a relationship I have with the two humans I created with my husband. Is being a wife a job? No, it is a relationship.

    And I do agree that it negates the other people in my children's life, it is not wholly and solely up to me to ensure they become pinnacles of society, they have lots of fabulous relationships in their lives that shape them, and as they grow and become more and more exposed to other activities and people they will also shape them.

    Being a Mum is also not the only thing in my life and when I hear about it being the toughest and most important job in the world it does not fit with my life, it is part of my life and an intense part while they are toddlers, but certainly not something I need to devote myself to as a vocation.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to NoteToSelf For This Useful Post:

    Moxy  (19-11-2013)

  10. #47
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    1,581
    Thanks
    748
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Does anyone else feel that the 'most important job in the world' title could also add to the culture of guilt that mothers seem to have? I feel my role is important, but IMO no more or less important than all of the other members of our family. If mine were the most important then if I fk up it's all on me. I don't buy it.
    Yep, I feel like no matter what I do or don't do there's guilt attached. No matter what I do or don't do it's not right or not the best choice. And I'm very big on dads being just as important as mums. I think a man can raise a child just as good as a woman & I think a mans role is equally important.

  11. #48
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    6,311
    Thanks
    2,387
    Thanked
    4,599
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    Does anyone else feel that the 'most important job in the world' title could also add to the culture of guilt that mothers seem to have? I feel my role is important, but IMO no more or less important than all of the other members of our family. If mine were the most important then if I fk up it's all on me. I don't buy it.
    Yes!!

    I was just going to say the very thought makes me squirm.

  12. #49
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    972
    Thanks
    536
    Thanked
    343
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Acadaca View Post
    I realise that my opinion probably won't be be popular, but I do think that there is a sliding scale. I am a working mum and sahm's that I know have made me feel less of a mother when I've needed to work. There are comments made along the lines of 'it is so important for us that I stay at home with our kids while they're young' or 'I don't like the idea of daycare' aren't intended to create a sliding scale but they do. The subtext is there to say you think working mothers have made a choice that isn't in the best interest of their kids. It can be especially hurtful when the money is needed and the government will only pay some mothers to stay home with their kids.

    I agree with the article, though I do think its the most important relationship in the world if its not a job. If mothers all decided to do a bad job the fabric of society would unravel before our eyes.
    On the other hand as a sahm I often feel less of a woman, less valued by society because I'm not at work. Overall women just need to be more supportive to each other.
    Being a mother isn't my job - when I start to see it that way I feel bad at being unable to keep a tidy/organised house! But I never applied to be a house keeper - that's the hardest part of being a parent now, caring for my kids is great, cleaning up after them is a sucky job and not important!! But my life is easier in many ways than my working friends, I'd like to work but coordinating around school/ finding child care makes it hard right now. If mothering was so valued we'd be welcomed back into the workforce, but we're almost untouchables for taking too many years off. I'd encourage my daughter to stay in work eventhough being home with my kids has been the best time of my adult life!

  13. #50
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    1,427
    Thanks
    497
    Thanked
    1,588
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think it is a hugely privileged western thing we have going on with `Motherhood' currently.

    I think if we asked women who lived like most of the world does (on $1 a day or whatever ridiculous amount) if Motherhood was a vocation and the most important job in the world (while making sure we are milling our own grains, making our own yoghurt and spending hours setting up rich play experiences for our kids) they would think we were w!nkers. And we just need to get on with it and not make it so complicated.

  14. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to NoteToSelf For This Useful Post:

    Arlais  (19-11-2013),Barnaby  (19-11-2013),EmilyMac  (19-11-2013),FearlessLeader  (19-11-2013),MermaidSister  (19-11-2013),Moxy  (19-11-2013),Renn  (19-11-2013),Stiflers Mom  (19-11-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 51
    Last Post: 19-01-2014, 11:29
  2. Dream world or movie world for under 7's
    By 3ratbags in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 14-11-2013, 11:51
  3. Movie world vs sea world...
    By GlitterFarts in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 29-08-2013, 13:37

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Super soft, fun prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton plus non-toxic wooden toys. • Hypoallergenic - perfect for eczema relief • Everything needed to shop for a baby shower • 10% off + FREE gift with purchase. Use code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
The Health Hub
Give a new mum a fitness boost for Christmas & New Year. Studio-based, small group training sessions - cardio, strength, core, Pilates & boxing. Choice of 16 hrs per week, flexible-arrival feature - bubs & kids welcome! Gift vouchers available.
featured supporter
Billington Street
For stationery as unique as you are! ♥ Handmade, custom designed stationery for all of life's celebrations
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!