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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Acadaca View Post
    I don't think my friends think less of me when they talk about that. I think they're just justifying their choices. However, by doing so they establish what they believe to be 'ideal' mothering situation in their eyes and thus a sliding scale is created iykwim? More to the point it is ideal in my eyes also but financially it's unattainable for me, thus I am less than even in my own eyes. That probably has a lot to do with how I interpret comments like these. I think the author is the same.
    I think it's the ideal situation for our family and ours alone. I don't compare it to what other families do, there is no sliding scale.

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I think it's the ideal situation for our family and ours alone. I don't compare it to what other families do, there is no sliding scale.
    Agree! I worked for the first 2 years after DS1 was born because I had to, we had to pay our bills and DH was still an apprentice. It was what was best for my family at the time

    However It really does suck when you want to be at home and cant for financial reasons, so I think you are doing an amazing thing just by doing what is best for your family

  4. #23
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    I liked the article. And I agree with her. I think it is time to drop the slogan. And I think perhaps that posters have focussed too much on the first line and paid scant regard to what she's actually saying about motherhood?

    Because I found it to be actually quite positive and I don't understand how the thread has morphed into defending one's right to stay at home and raise your kids. The article isn't about that nor does it slam that. It's about putting parenthood into perspective. I remember an article she wrote a while back about the Catherine Deveney scandal which was really well written and also when Penny Wong's partner announced her pregnancy about the problems of a fatherless society and I found that to be thought provoking too.

    If I may say this without being forked is that people could perhaps read rather than read into what is being written.

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  6. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I agree with the article wholeheartedly. I think she hits the nail on the head with the line 'motherhood is not a vocation- it's a relationship'.
    I hate the phrase 'being a mum is the hardest job in the world' for a whole range of reasons. And it IS used mainly to describe SAHMs, and to denigrate working mums. If being a mum is the hardest job in the world, working mums are seen as copping out a bit by going to do an 'easier' job somewhere else..
    I agree with this although this is only my experience in BH not irl. Probably because there are so many more SAHMs on here than I know irl!

    You rarely see comments from working parents about how they choose to work for reasons OTHER than financial, and I think it's because they feel they would get shot down. Examples being I want to be a good role model and believe that to be in work is better than to be out of work, I don't want to be solely dependant on another, I don't want years out of the workforce because I will probably struggle to have a meaningful career, I don't think a child needs to be or should be with a parent 24/7, I want to contribute to a wider society outside of my own family unit, etc.

    I am NOT saying that any of the reasons above are more valid than another parents reasons to stay home, not would they even apply to lots of people, but they are true and valid for many. It's just that it's a minority group on the Hub. Which is fine.

    SAHPs are somewhat revered on here, I feel. But it is a parenting website after all!

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  8. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    I agree with the article wholeheartedly. I think she hits the nail on the head with the line 'motherhood is not a vocation- it's a relationship'.
    I hate the phrase 'being a mum is the hardest job in the world' for a whole range of reasons. And it IS used mainly to describe SAHMs, and to denigrate working mums. If being a mum is the hardest job in the world, working mums are seen as copping out a bit by going to do an 'easier' job somewhere else.
    I also agree with her that the discussion of motherhood is bloody old and tired. Let's start talking about parenting, not mothering.
    Very well said and exactly how I'm often made to feel as a working mum!

  9. #26
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    I see the article as being just another article to try and increase the divide between SAHP and working parents. And reading some responses here, it is working.


    Sent from my U8860 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  11. #27
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    I stand by my comment that we should have the right to choose our roles in society (I don't want to see either working or stay at home mums feeling judged for their choice, no matter why they made it). Both roles are important, and it's such a highly personal choice.

    It's funny but as a stay at home mum you do cop a fair bit of judgement as well, even here. I've often felt that working mums are held up to be the ideal here on the hub lol. I guess it's just one of those situations where the grass looks greener on the other side.

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  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by trustno1 View Post
    I see the article as being just another article to try and increase the divide between SAHP and working parents. And reading some responses here, it is working.


    Sent from my U8860 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I disagree. The article is how being a mum is the most important job. Not being a SAHM. Unless working parents somehow don't qualify?

    Not saying that's what you meant though. Just how it could be interpreted.

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    Quote Originally Posted by trustno1 View Post
    I see the article as being just another article to try and increase the divide between SAHP and working parents. And reading some responses here, it is working.
    I agree. I found the tone of it quite aggressive and it just seemed like a rant.

    I think people just do what works for their family situation. I think it's sad that mothers have to constantly justify their choices.

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    The word bitter comes to mind. And I do think it was a stab (yet again) at SAHM's since she talks several times about unpaid labour of child raising and " It only encourages mothers to stay socially and financially hobbled". Clearly directed at those at home.

    The article doesn't surprise me in the least.

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