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  1. #871
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    Hi @kiwi76

    Sorry its taken me a while to respond, Ive been trying to figure out the PM issue - I cant PM you either...upon further reading I think it might be that I have to have a certain number of posts before I can PM? No idea how many, so sorry about that.

    I would love to tell you that all those times there was *one* thing that I kept feeling or having happen that was the same each time and thus I could tell if it was going to fail or not. I couldn't.

    There was no twinge, or pain, or cramping or blood that was consistent with the time of failure. I will say (this may sound crazy) but each time within a day or two I had a major stressor happen. For instance one of the times my Brother in law sued us (unbeknownst to me) and I got 'served' papers - it was that very day they measured later on ultrasound the heart stopped beating. If I had one piece of advise, (at least for myself) its to make sure NOTHING stresses me. No crappy relatives phoning up to cause trouble etc. I wont answer the phone!)

    For mine, it was always the same - a 'missed' miscarriage, which is where the heartbeat stops but everything else stays the same. Until you go in for an ultrasound, you just don't know anything.

    That said, every. single. time. (barring the first when I was blissfully unaware this could happen) I 'felt' like I wasn't going to see a heartbeat at the appointment, I was absolutely sure there was no baby and my thoughts were realised. In retrospect, I think when we are in a situation like this we might subconsciously prepare ourselves, or prepare for the worst? I don't know, I just wonder if my history created that feeling that it would never work out IYKWIM?

    Regardless, I don't think I will ever experience another pregnancy where I wont feel that way until I see the 15-16 week mark. Then Ill be anxiety ridden about premature birth and SGA (Small for gestational age) as my son was born at 28 weeks 715 grams!) Are any of us really ever free from the anxiety? I envy those that can see a positive pregnancy test and just feel excitement, I feel instant panic!

    I did feel pulling and tugging and a little back cramping early in most of my pregnancies but I believe that was due to implantation and really digging in there because all signs pointed to healthy pregnancies each time - great growth and heart rates, nausea and excellent HCG increases... you know the drill. With APA and any other immune issue it is all so silent!

    I will say with your protocol under Dr M you should feel hopeful, I have met with 'experts' and specialists in Colorado, Texas, LA and Sydney and I have never felt as much hope as I feel with this protocol. He specialises in those that are highly specialised patients and that's why Im giving this another go.

    I do hope all goes well for you - Im guessing you're about 11 weeks now? In my experience, 12 weeks is the first 'safe' milestone. I had one miscarriage at 13weeks but I was unmedicated for that - not even aspirin or progesterone. I feel like if you get to 12 with this protocol you have a really great shot at this - I will be crossing everything for you - a win for you is also a win for my potential future!

    I hope this message was *some* help in easing your anxiety. I truly know what it feels like to feel that anxious and Im sending great big hugs!
    Last edited by SeasideGirl; 22-03-2014 at 23:02.

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  3. #872
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    @nattie84 I know exactly how you feel. Its nice to know im not alone although I am sorry you have to go through it too.

    I missed my sister in laws engagement party because there was a woman there announcing her pregnancy, and kiddies. My thoughts are that I dont want to take away the attention at someone elses event because I get upset so I distance myself a bit too. I try occassionally but it's bloody hard and people dont understand. Unless a person is undergoing ivf and has no children previously they have no right to tell you to just get over it.

    Chances are my husband and I might never have kids but I haven't given up yet and ill be damned if ill accept some b*tch telling me to accept the fact that I wont while surrounded by her little brats....

    Sorry... haha now I feel better.

    Much love xx

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  5. #873
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    @nattie84,

    Whoever said to you that you should 'suck it up' is a horrible human being. Seriously I wonder who breeds these people? What a callous, ignorant thing to say? Do what you need to do for you and know that your *real* friends will totally understand and the rest need to be tossed from your life! (My opinion FWIW)

    BTW I use Clexane in my stomach (have used it throughout trying for a few years now) and have great success with going SUPER slow when injecting. Wipe over the area with prep pad, fan it to dry (or needle stings more going in), insert needle (about 45 degrees for me but some say 90 degrees) and then push plunger super slow. I have had very few bruises and the pain is almost non existent!

  6. #874
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeasideGirl View Post
    @nattie84,

    Whoever said to you that you should 'suck it up' is a horrible human being. Seriously I wonder who breeds these people? What a callous, ignorant thing to say? Do what you need to do for you and know that your *real* friends will totally understand and the rest need to be tossed from your life! (My opinion FWIW)

    BTW I use Clexane in my stomach (have used it throughout trying for a few years now) and have great success with going SUPER slow when injecting. Wipe over the area with prep pad, fan it to dry (or needle stings more going in), insert needle (about 45 degrees for me but some say 90 degrees) and then push plunger super slow. I have had very few bruises and the pain is almost non existent!
    It was actually my brother in law. It's like he thinks lots of other people do it so it's like normal wtf such an idiot.. Lots of people get cancer but that's not normal... It's like he doesn't want to understand. Oh well I'm done with him. I bet you when we get preg he will say see you we're worried and stressed and upset for nothing.., I will punch him in the face.. And also I might add it's like people think Ivf is a miracle cure, it's not some people never get their happy ending.

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  7. #875
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    Quote Originally Posted by SeasideGirl View Post
    Hi @kiwi76

    Sorry its taken me a while to respond, Ive been trying to figure out the PM issue - I cant PM you either...upon further reading I think it might be that I have to have a certain number of posts before I can PM? No idea how many, so sorry about that.

    I would love to tell you that all those times there was *one* thing that I kept feeling or having happen that was the same each time and thus I could tell if it was going to fail or not. I couldn't.

    There was no twinge, or pain, or cramping or blood that was consistent with the time of failure. I will say (this may sound crazy) but each time within a day or two I had a major stressor happen. For instance one of the times my Brother in law sued us (unbeknownst to me) and I got 'served' papers - it was that very day they measured later on ultrasound the heart stopped beating. If I had one piece of advise, (at least for myself) its to make sure NOTHING stresses me. No crappy relatives phoning up to cause trouble etc. I wont answer the phone!)

    For mine, it was always the same - a 'missed' miscarriage, which is where the heartbeat stops but everything else stays the same. Until you go in for an ultrasound, you just don't know anything.

    That said, every. single. time. (barring the first when I was blissfully unaware this could happen) I 'felt' like I wasn't going to see a heartbeat at the appointment, I was absolutely sure there was no baby and my thoughts were realised. In retrospect, I think when we are in a situation like this we might subconsciously prepare ourselves, or prepare for the worst? I don't know, I just wonder if my history created that feeling that it would never work out IYKWIM?

    Regardless, I don't think I will ever experience another pregnancy where I wont feel that way until I see the 15-16 week mark. Then Ill be anxiety ridden about premature birth and SGA (Small for gestational age) as my son was born at 28 weeks 715 grams!) Are any of us really ever free from the anxiety? I envy those that can see a positive pregnancy test and just feel excitement, I feel instant panic!

    I did feel pulling and tugging and a little back cramping early in most of my pregnancies but I believe that was due to implantation and really digging in there because all signs pointed to healthy pregnancies each time - great growth and heart rates, nausea and excellent HCG increases... you know the drill. With APA and any other immune issue it is all so silent!

    I will say with your protocol under Dr M you should feel hopeful, I have met with 'experts' and specialists in Colorado, Texas, LA and Sydney and I have never felt as much hope as I feel with this protocol. He specialises in those that are highly specialised patients and that's why Im giving this another go.

    I do hope all goes well for you - Im guessing you're about 11 weeks now? In my experience, 12 weeks is the first 'safe' milestone. I had one miscarriage at 13weeks but I was unmedicated for that - not even aspirin or progesterone. I feel like if you get to 12 with this protocol you have a really great shot at this - I will be crossing everything for you - a win for you is also a win for my potential future!

    I hope this message was *some* help in easing your anxiety. I truly know what it feels like to feel that anxious and Im sending great big hugs!
    I am the same with stresses... Every time I do Ivf someone announces an unplanned pregnancy which always pushes me over the edge. Or some family drama seems to unfold so from now on I don't care what events I miss baby showers, birthdays I will be taking some me time and shutting out the world and if people get the ****s with it bad luck..


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  8. #876
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    Nattei... if you get pregnant and your BIL ever says "you we're worried and stressed and upset for nothing." you'll have to punch him for all of us. That's actually one of my greatest things I've played out in my head over and over - when I'm pregnant and I announce it to everyone, and then try to explain the whole IVF stress to them, I think that they will just all down play it, and not see the fuss or toil it's had on me. Part of that is because I haven't told people now (except close family), so maybe I can't expect them to ever really understand. As if the IVF stuff isn't hard enough, but we have to torment ourselves with all this emotional stress too!!

  9. #877
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    Hi everyone...

    Hope you all are doing well.

    Hi nattie...I'm in the same boat with you. I had a similar experience after that I have stopping going in any parties. I hate those friends who don't understand your situation. It's so stressful.

    I'm so stressful at the movement. As some of you knew that we recently moved our house because of that I had to skip my clomid cycle this month. We are doing complete renovation at the movement & builder had promised us to finished everything 1 month before & he's still didn't finish everything. From yesterday he stopped working & demanding his last installment without completing his job. 😞😰.

    Nattie...dr. M also advised me to try naturally with clomid, but he didn't advised me to start clexane. Did he advised you over your phone consultation? Don't know should I also ask him about it or wait till I finish my 2 clomid cycle 😞?

  10. #878
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    I just asked him about it cause he had already prescribed it for me once I get a BFP and he said yes I could take it earlier... It depends what your issues are.. Clexane helps with blood flow issues as I have MTHFR...

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  12. #879
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    Quote Originally Posted by nattie84 View Post
    I just asked him about it cause he had already prescribed it for me once I get a BFP and he said yes I could take it earlier... It depends what your issues are.. Clexane helps with blood flow issues as I have MTHFR...
    Thanks nattie...he didn't prescribed me this yet. He mentioned about neupogen injections, which I need to start after positive test .

  13. #880
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    Another darn facebook announcement today, feeling very blue. Just shelled out for this next cycle too so I can't even get some retail therapy to make myself feel better.

    I just can't help but wonder if it'll ever be my turn?


 

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