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  1. #21
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    Hi MissMash, I've never been in this situation before but wanted to send you some hugs!! You poor thing, it sounds like a very difficult situation to be in.

    The only thing I'd recommend is to tell your partner you are in fact pregnant so you can discuss it together & make the decision together. Hopefully then no matter which choice you make you will have more support & someone to talk to about it.

    I hope you don't do anything unless you're absolutely certain about it.

    Good luck & I hope you choose the option that's right for you. No matter which way you go, there are so many lovely ladies on here for support. Xx.

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  3. #22
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    I'll preface this by saying I am pro choice.

    I agree with the others about talking to your partner about this. If he can't be there to support you whatever you decide - then what is the point?

    You are not a loser, you are facing a really tough decision. If you can speak to a counsellor then try too. But ultimately this needs to be your decision. Good luck, I hope you find an answer you are at peace with.

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    Atropos  (18-11-2013)

  5. #23
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    I support whatever you want to do, but I honestly don't think you want to have an abortion, not really. I had my first proper ultrasound at exactly 10 weeks and 4 days and seeing the baby really changed my mind about possibly terminating it. It had arms and legs and was sucking it's thumb wriggling around in there happily. I am currently pregnant 13 and a bit weeks, and it was entirely unplanned and like you initially thought termination was the only sensible option. My circumstances aren't great either not by a long shot. I am now grateful that I had to wait a little while before I could have a termination because after seeing the baby I am in love and it's that love that's given me the will and determination to do whatever it takes to make sure my baby has whatever he or she needs. If you feel you cant keep the baby, that's ok too. Sometimes you have to do what you think is best, you just have to try to be strong and remind yourself of that. The only thing is you have to really know 100% for sure that's what YOU want to do, because if you don't you will almost certainly regret it. There is a lot of support here for single mothers so its definitely doable. No matter what though there are no judgements. I was where you are a very short time ago I know how excrutiating this is **Huge hugs**

  6. #24
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    Oh Hun.... Be very careful about putting your life on the line for your boyfriend. He is still essentially a kid and if he is unable to cope with a baby at this point in his life how is he going to cope with a live in partner who relies in him (due to moving across the world to be with him?).

    I don't mean to be a Debbie downer I'm just worried about you. This situation has red flags all over it... if this (terminating a baby) is the pickle you find yourself in now... Imagine the pickles you could find yourself in if you give it all up to move to the other side of the world to be with him.

    Stay strong.

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  8. #25
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    I would advise against the termination. I had one at 19 purely because I thought my bf would leave me and it haunts me to this day. I never once thought of myself or the baby, just my bf. Don't make my mistake.

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    KaraB  (18-11-2013)

  10. #26
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    I really don't think people should be advising about what others should or shouldn't do either way regarding termination. Or is it just me that feels uncomfortable with it?

    I've had a termination, and it caused a lot of sadness for a long time, but I now know it was 100% the right decision for me at the time and I have no regrets at all.

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  12. #27
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    The OP did ask for advice that doesn't mean she has to take it. No one can make her do anything either way. It's good to hear both sides of the coin. Some women really regret abortions, others don't. OP I hope you're ok wherever you are x

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  14. #28
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    Lots of hugs!!
    Please really think about this, only do it for YOU. I think you're thinking too much what your partner and his family would want.
    I'd also really be questioning why my partner isn't as supportive with something like this. Yes he has his thoughts, but it doesn't sound like he is taking your feelings into consideration either.
    So please seek counseling and what all your options are. This is something you can't change once done.
    All the best


    Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)

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  16. #29
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    I agree and personal stories are fine, saying you regret a termination is fine, saying that you don't is fine, saying that it was the wrong decision for you is fine, but to then take it and say "I don't think you should" because of what that particular person went through I don't think is fine. Just because is was the wrong decision for one doesn't mean it will be for someone else - you know?


    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    The OP did ask for advice that doesn't mean she has to take it. No one can make her do anything either way. It's good to hear both sides of the coin. Some women really regret abortions, others don't. OP I hope you're ok wherever you are x

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  18. #30
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    Yeah but I don't think it was meant that way and I doubt that the OP would take it that way either. It's a very emotional issue and people usually feel very strongly about it one way or another. I'm not interested in turning this into an argument at all. I just want to support the OP with whatever decision she makes


 

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