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  1. #51
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    I would never take sperm from someone without their prior consent. Violation IMO.

    ExDH and I still have a frozen embryo from when we had to undergo IVF with DS1. We had to sign forms at the time, stating what we would like to happen to it in the event of one of us dying. We both agreed the other could use it, to help provide a full blood sibling to DS1 if we chose to. This was of course assuming we were still married!

    I highly doubt a doctor would remove sperm from a man without prior consent. Can this really happen?! What happens to his family with visitation and access etc very messy situation,

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by JD Mumma View Post
    They do this all th time, the family can choose to donate the persons organs.
    If a wife can give her husbands heart to a stranger, why not use his sperm herself?
    I'm neither here nor there about, but thought Id share that perspective
    But organs help to sustain a life that already exists. Taking sperm to create a new life is hardly comparable.

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  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    I would never take sperm from someone without their prior consent. Violation IMO.

    ExDH and I still have a frozen embryo from when we had to undergo IVF with DS1. We had to sign forms at the time, stating what we would like to happen to it in the event of one of us dying. We both agreed the other could use it, to help provide a full blood sibling to DS1 if we chose to. This was of course assuming we were still married!

    I highly doubt a doctor would remove sperm from a man without prior consent. Can this really happen?! What happens to his family with visitation and access etc very messy situation,
    Just out of interest, what happens to that emby now? Can you use it? (Don't have to answer, of course, I'm just wondering)

  5. #54
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    Originally Posted by BettyW Fair enough -- I don't know what that's like. What are your thoughts on anonymous sperm donation where a child will never know a father?
    Great question and totally valid in here. Personally, a big no from me. It's already presenting social problems that will only increase in time. I also recall watching an interview with children who were borne from donor sperm and their feelings on their origins were heartbreaking. Again, the kids just don't seem to be considered at any great length in issues such as this.

    In relation to donated organs, for me it's a case of prolonging a life already in existence as opposed to attempting to create one from scratch. It's a totally different scenario that bears no semblance to what is being discussed here.

    And not to take away from those who undertake IVF because I understand this is an accepted practice but does anyone else find the concept of embryos on ice abhorrent? I find it mind blowing that we are so comfortable with technology we don't understand but are so used to now that we think putting a life on ice is normal. A relative of mine, when she was done with IVF, signed her embryos over to research. Does this not strike anyone as being horrific? Again, to those quick to attack or think that this is solely about them, it's not - this is just a question. I think discussion about these issues should be more widespread.

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  7. #55
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    This is a very sad story. I know the deceased man and his death was tragic. Apparently it was something he would wanted for his wife as they had been undergoing fertility treatment.

    Each to their own.

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  9. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    I would never take sperm from someone without their prior consent. Violation IMO.

    I highly doubt a doctor would remove sperm from a man without prior consent. Can this really happen?! What happens to his family with visitation and access etc very messy situation,
    It can and does happen both here and in other countries that used to ban such procedures such as the UK.

    You can find examples here and here and discussion of ethical use here.

    For those posting how sperm can be extracted from a dead man, it's done when the man is legally brain dead or while he's still "fresh". Doctors usually make a small incision in the vas deferens, where sperm is stored, and extract the sperm-containing fluid. Single sperm are then isolated and injected directly into the egg so as to preserve the sperm they have been able to collect.

    While I understand how people would put two and two together (eg. wife + husband + good r'ship = would have wanted babies), this doesn't mean the dead person would have given permission. It's simply what you would have wanted. What if the dead man had specific wants regarding who raised his child? Where they went to school? What he would want them to know about him? And what about the woman, unable to let go? Unable to move on because she's hanging onto a fantastical notion that in her child created with posthumously harvested sperm that this child was created in love and carries on its father's memory? And in doing so, hampering her chances of having another meaningful relationship whereby she could fully move on, embrace another and begin a family with a man who is living and fully consensual. What of this? Again, only more questions.
    Last edited by Caviar; 17-11-2013 at 12:03.

  10. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by dee1 View Post
    What was his answer? Hubby just woke up to go to the bathroom, his answer was 'it's your choice'.. Maybe I will get a detailed response in the morning when he isn't half asleep.


    Married to my soul mate, Mummy to one beautiful little girl, wishing for a little boy to complete our family.
    He said "shuddup go away it's weeeeeeird" but I pushed it haha he said "sure if u want I spose" lol. That's consent in my books :-P

  11. #58
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    I dont know. Its pretty arogant view on my part I guess. But its one thing to say your father passed before you were born but another to say my father passed before I was conceived. For me I think as other pp suggested it opens up more questions than answers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    That's totally fine and your life choice. Other people choose to become single parents via donor sperm, or via adoption, others choose less ethical means (one night stand on O day or similar) and that is their choice. I don't see a problem with the scenario in the OP but I do think some kind of consent before hand is optimal (ethically speaking). For me, if my DH was agreeable to it and the means were there and he passed away, I would seriously consider it. As I said, there's no right answer for everyone, I acknowledge that
    I agree. Just explaining my point of view a bit more clearly

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  14. #60
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    If we were going through ivf before he passed, then I would possibly still go ahead with it. But if it meant having to actually have sperm taken after he died, I wouldn't even consider it.
    Last edited by Mod-RaryGirl; 18-11-2013 at 18:39.

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