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  1. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hubby and I watched the 60 minutes episode together.

    With the lady who's hubby died of leukemia, I can sort of understand her using his sperm. They were ttc and their baby was born/died 2 days after the dad

    As for the other lady I don't really agree at all. They weren't married, they weren't ttc and there was no mention anywhere of her fiancé approving of this. I feel sorry for her but she just comes across as a sad lady who can't move on. 4 years its been and she is still trying to have a baby with her dead ex-fiances sperm.
    - also I just needed to add I have nothing against non married people having kids at all. In this ladies case I think it's just another factor which indicates the path she is fighting to be on wasn't laid down in cement before her fiancé passed away.
    I was thinking the same as you.

    The lady that had her fiancé's sperm frozen had me questioning where do you draw the line?

  2. #112
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    EternalOptimist is offline Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt; never say you have reached your last attempt until you have succeeded.
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    Our clinic have a clause in the contract that both partners sign when u do an IVF cycle that asks if u give permission for ur partner to use sperm/eggs or embryos in the event of one partner passing away. My DH and I have discussed it at the time we signed the contract and both agreed if anything happened the other one can use the eggs/sperm or embryos exclusively.

    We already have a baby via IVF so the genetic blood link for us for future siblings is a significant factor.

  3. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    Actually, yes I could. Perhaps it was due to the consent we already gave at the time? Not sure, but Either way they confirmed this to me a month ago when I enquired. They also would not know our relationship was over unless I offered that information.

    Its a moot point for us anyway as I'd never do that to exDH, or the baby.
    Well it's okay to say it's a moot point due to your present circumstances but you were still referring to what you think your rights are. The advice you received was under the premise that you and your ex were still together which means that this advice cannot be relied upon. Before the procedure being carried out, your r'ship would have to be established and your ex contacted to ensure consent still existed. This is a legal requirement. A further legal requirement upon establishing that the r'ship was defunct would be to gain consent from your ex. If your ex said no, he could lawfully prevent you from obtaining that embryo as such access would adversely affect his rights. It happens in this country a lot.

    An example of this scenario can be found here.

    VicPark, my feelings about the woman you mentioned who couldn't move on was that she was very lonely. And while I felt for her I could not see how she could justify her stance and for the reasons you outlined. My DH and I are in the same position regarding posthumous use of sperm. It has nothing to do with holding me back but moreso with allowing me to move on.

  4. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    Our clinic have a clause in the contract that both partners sign when u do an IVF cycle that asks if u give permission for ur partner to use sperm/eggs or embryos in the event of one partner passing away. My DH and I have discussed it at the time we signed the contract and both agreed if anything happened the other one can use the eggs/sperm or embryos exclusively.

    We already have a baby via IVF so the genetic blood link for us for future siblings is a significant factor.
    Just a quick question. Not only aimed at you. How would it work if your husband wanted to use the embryo. Would it be like a surrogate or *if* he found a new partner would she carry ? Just curious.
    Because women can carry it themselves

  5. #115
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    Quote Originally Posted by Caviar View Post
    Well it's okay to say it's a moot point due to your present circumstances but you were still referring to what you think your rights are. The advice you received was under the premise that you and your ex were still together which means that this advice cannot be relied upon. Before the procedure being carried out, your r'ship would have to be established and your ex contacted to ensure consent still existed. This is a legal requirement. A further legal requirement upon establishing that the r'ship was defunct would be to gain consent from your ex. If your ex said no, he could lawfully prevent you from obtaining that embryo as such access would adversely affect his rights. It happens in this country a lot.
    .
    Whilst I completely understand what you're saying - and agree that's the way it should be - it was definitely not what I was told a month ago. I was very specific with my questions for this very reason. So perhaps the person I spoke to gave me wrong information.

  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by grooviechic35 View Post
    Just a quick question. Not only aimed at you. How would it work if your husband wanted to use the embryo. Would it be like a surrogate or *if* he found a new partner would she carry ? Just curious.
    Because women can carry it themselves
    It would take an extraordinary new partner to want to carry your dead wifes baby wouldnt it? Unless she had fertility issues of her own. I couldnt do it I know that much.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  7. #117
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    Just a quick question. Not only aimed at you. How would it work if your husband wanted to use the embryo. Would it be like a surrogate or *if* he found a new partner would she carry ? Just curious.

    Reminds me of the game of Scruples. Good question!
    And would the new partner want to carry?

  8. #118
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    EternalOptimist is offline Never say you have failed until you have reached your last attempt; never say you have reached your last attempt until you have succeeded.
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    Yep his new partner could carry one of our embryos or he could use a surrogate. It would b incredibly difficult to be the carrier of ur boyfriend/husbands dead wifes child but like others mentioned if she had fertility issues too then maybe. It would probably end up being a surrogate tho.

  9. #119
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    Well I am already pregnant with my 4th (DH's first) so 4 is enough.


 

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