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  1. #31
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    I would never keep this from my kids, but I don't know how we will ever tell them that they have twin sisters that we terminated for medical reasons. I don't know how they would feel about that or what is a good age to tell them.

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    Yes I do. The only person I've ever told is my now XH, and he never believed me because the person in question "seems too nice to have ever done that".

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    There are things I might gloss over. My experience with illegal substances for one thing. I might not tell her the extent of my experience, but I definitely think I will have more authority in giving advice if I admit I have had some experience.

  4. #34
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    That his grandparents were absolutely horrible with what they said when they found out about him and when they found out it was too late to terminate seriously suggested adoption as did DF. Of course DF got over it and came around a lot quicker, his parents took longer. They have loved him since he was born but it still hurts to think about how they reacted.

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  5. #35
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    DS is a month shy of 14 and now knows a few things about family members that I wish he didn't. I have always tried to shield him from stuff but he now knows most of it, although not precise details. (mainly about drug taking relatives, not me personally). I have never sat him down or directly told him, but he has unfortunetly caught a glimpse of a relatives bong that they didn't hide very well when we have visited. (not of it being used, just on a shelf.) It pains me because ideally I would never have wanted him exposed to that sort of stuff. He has learnt about the dangers of drugs etc at school (I also shared a book with him about a girl who died after taking X so knows what it all is.)
    I can't keep him wrapped up in cotton wool (as much as I'd love to!) all I can do is try to set a good example and educate him. For the record he hates drugs and alcohol. My dad is an alcoholic and DS swears from seeing all the turmoil that has caused, he will never ever touch alcohol. I know him, I believe he wont. He recently admitted to me that he hated it when I drank, even one glass of wine- he asked me why I needed to and even though I explained that it was OK in moderation etc, he asked me to stop. So I have. He said he didn't like it and that was enough of a reason for me. He really hates it. I do miss having a glass of wine now and then, but I'd rather go without than have my child grow up with it in the house as he dislikes it so much.
    Wow I think I kinda derailed there
    As for skeletons, yeah, I have those. I wont be discussing them with my kids as it has nothing to do with them and will be of zero benefit if they found out.
    ETA: actually, I have asked him if he knew what relative XYZ used the bong for after he accidently spotted it, he replied "smoking marijuana". We discussed it. He was sad. He hates it.
    "Life Is Ours, We Live It Our Way".
    Last edited by ~Marigold~; 14-11-2013 at 19:49.

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  7. #36
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    Umm not "skeletons" so much as things i just won't talk to my kids about. My mum talked to me about things i just didn't need to know about, cool you had a social life mum but EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

    So yeah my kids don't need to know many many things.

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  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by moongazer View Post
    Please don't be ashamed. You couldn't help it. The main thing is you worked through it, and recognised it. X
    Thanks, you are too kind

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    Last edited by dancingchipmunk; 15-11-2013 at 06:45.

  10. #39
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    Yes there is some things I don't ever want them to know but on the other hand there are things that I have shared with them...not in full detail. I know my mum has heaps of secrets from me and I only know little bits that I've pieced together over the years but I still don't know the full story. I try to be honest with my kids if they ask questions...it helps them understand why I am the way I am and why we don't have anything to do with mine and dh's families.


 

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