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  1. #11
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    Why is your husband deciding who can and cant come to lunch?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FuddyMum View Post
    Well I hope that's the case and they plan to leave on the 26th and not rush everything. I just need them to for once tell me what is happening! I guess there isn't a huge issue I just need to chill out. My husband makes me stress about these things..!
    Just tell your dad straight - this is what WE are doing for Christmas. Make it clear if he wants to come/ is welcome still, that you won't be leaving early or changing plans for him. Ask exactly when he plans on driving down to Sydney so you know what's going on. It sounds like your dad changes his mind like he changes his undies

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    FuddyMum  (14-11-2013),SuperGranny  (14-11-2013)

  4. #13
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    I will focus on getting their proper plans from them so I know what everyone is doing. My FIL is particular so I am just being respectful of bringing all of my family into his house after recent events affecting his son (my husband).No my husband isn't dictating who can and can't come. He just wants people to want to be there and not just turning up so they are seen to be turning up for Xmas when really they want to get on with other things. It's all very high emotions at the moment and I just venting. Thank you for the replies and different perspectives.

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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    I would give the attention to whos house and who is hosting the Christmas lunch. If you are the person incharge, then you have final say as to when and who. but if lunch is at someone elses house you shouldn't invite other family. If the trip to Sydney/Brisbane is going to influence the start time/finish time? then that needs to be either accommodated or they don't come. I think the host has the final say, and if anything or anyone is going to disrupt the lunch, it has to be allowed by the host. good luck, Marie.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SuperGranny View Post
    I would give the attention to whos house and who is hosting the Christmas lunch. If you are the person incharge, then you have final say as to when and who. but if lunch is at someone elses house you shouldn't invite other family. If the trip to Sydney/Brisbane is going to influence the start time/finish time? then that needs to be either accommodated or they don't come. I think the host has the final say, and if anything or anyone is going to disrupt the lunch, it has to be allowed by the host. good luck, Marie.
    Thanks Super Granny and that's how I feel. Good advice I have spoken to my Dad he has agreed that he wouldn't be staying long and decided he will drop into our house mid morning to say merry Christmas and then they will be on their way. Really I think he just wants somewhere to park his car while he is away and a a pick up service(me) when he gets back and really doesn't care about "spending Xmas" with us as originally said.

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    Haven't read all the replies however OP I just wanted to say that you should do what you need to do and your father and brother can join in, don't have christmas revolve around them... kind of like let them join in on YOUR christmas.
    we do that with our extended family, DH 's parents are divorced and don't want to meet each other so I just make christmas lunch and they can pop in whenever and have left overs, I'm sure as heck not putting up two lunches

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    Quote Originally Posted by ciaomamma View Post
    Haven't read all the replies however OP I just wanted to say that you should do what you need to do and your father and brother can join in, don't have christmas revolve around them... kind of like let them join in on YOUR christmas.
    we do that with our extended family, DH 's parents are divorced and don't want to meet each other so I just make christmas lunch and they can pop in whenever and have left overs, I'm sure as heck not putting up two lunches
    Thanks Ciaomamma it's so much pressure after divorce so late in life when I have become the new family but I get used so much for convenience. I'm starting to put my foot down more since everything is starting to affect my family Xmas just makes things more complicated than it needs to be!


 

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