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  1. #11
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    He does have low T, we found that out through our IVF investigations. But our FS said it would have always been low (ie when we met). He can't gave HRT yet because we're not sure if we are going to try for a 2nd child & testosterone tricks the testicles into thinking they don't have to work & produce any sperm. He has sperm upon biopsy but none the usual way, so we want his body to be able to keep producing for now. I feel for him, I really do. It's just sometimes I want a good 'ol, well you know.... I really miss it. In fairness to him we have made love twice in 2 weeks. But that would be a two year best....

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    ExcitedMummyxxx  (13-11-2013)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ExcitedMummy View Post
    We've talked and talked aswell. Nearly same issue as a pp, tired and overworked in a job he hates so just wants to sleep.

    What has helped me is to understand that I'm still getting affection. I never miss a goodnight/good morning kiss. Get random I love you texts. Constantly get grabbed when we walk near each other and get the 'wow' when I get dressed up for a night out.
    It's not me, it's him so when I'm hard up I give semi subtle cues to let him know. When I do enough he will sometimes initiate, if not I tell him 'I need it' and he makes an effort within the next couple of days by not doing as much at home so we can spend time together and he can not be so tired.
    If that doesn't work I ask for a 'massage'. I hate massages but they serve a purpose as I sound like I'm enjoying it and he's touching me which usually gets him worked up.

    It takes a while to get used to the change but it's much easier when you understand it's not anything you've done and it's normal, it just sucks
    We're the same & I know we're lucky & it's only sex... I've gone through periods of just accepting this is the way it is, then I go through times, like tonight where I feel all indignant & why shouldn't my needs matter? He saw what I was typing before & I could tell he was hurt & sulking. But I don't really know what to do; if I bring it up it seems emasculating to him, but if not it's something that's always there in the back of my mind. Then I become resentful, which I don't want. He's a lovely, thoughtful, caring husband & an awesome Dad. I find myself pulling back from him though, because I'm hurt & resentful, which I know isn't good for our relationship. On the odd occasion he does initiate I feel like rejecting him so he knows what it feels like; then I think 'nope, might not get this for a while; better take it while I can'. I don't want to hurt him, I do love him.

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    ExcitedMummyxxx  (13-11-2013)

  5. #13
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    I think that when I'm honest about it, it's hurt that I feel. Well that & rejection. I also see it as a gift he could give me, even if he's not in the mood, I mean we don't have to actually make love For him to satisfy my needs? I feel like he doesn't care enough to step out of his comfort zone & meet some of my needs for a change. It's like anything sexual is a burden to him. He doesn't have the need; so therefore it doesn't happen, I don't get that particular need filled either.


 

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