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  1. #1
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    Default Not sure how to respond

    Ok so ill start with the back story... Dd and I have been on holiday . We were away ten days and have been back a week, with a quick trip to grandparents before home. Ex came for a visit the morning we left, that was the second visit in two weeks. Ex is crazy busy ATM, as its busy season (farm) so element of me forgives that and ok with that. I did leave it up to him to let me know when he was free, as he is the one with time constraints ATM.
    So he finally messaged me yesterday, to organise time, I said that today is good, and he said he'd try call then. The message I received today was he's going to stay home, catch up on housework bookwork etc, which I understand also needs to be done when down time comes. He also said feel free to come over and help. So my quandary is, I get he's got to catch up on stuff when he can, but seriously to just wipe off a visit completely for any time during the day? Especially after being so long between visits? So I'm shirty at the message, but at the same time know he has things to do.
    And me taking dd to his house is not on the cards, and helping him?? Phhh, there's a reason he is ex. I'm not sure how to respond to this message.. :/

  2. #2
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    If it were possible, I'd take DD, but make it clear you won't be helping with anything. How rural is he, like could you leave her there for half an hour while you got a coffee?

    Sent from my HTC Desire X using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  4. #3
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    Id reply with happy to drop DD over to you for a visit but as for help thats not my department anymore

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    Dreamer1  (12-11-2013),Ellewood  (14-11-2013),TimeForWine  (12-11-2013),VicPark  (13-11-2013)

  6. #4
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    I would be saying.. That's ok, let me know when you are free to spend time with her. If he's so busy whats the point of you going there? Surely he can spend a few hours seeing his child.

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  8. #5
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    I'd not drop her off to him, for other reasons. As nice as it would be, it's not an option. Id have to be there too. And yes he'd not get all his jobs done if we were to visit! (Well, yes he would because he prob figured i could clean, and all he'd have left is paper work once we left.) then he'd be free to smoke weed and play video games for the rest of the day! Hurrah! Sorry.. Snide Bitterness aside, it's awfully close to the truth.

    He also said his house is filthy... I've seen his filthy... Not pretty. I still haven't responded. And now he's telling me about how much his bills are coming to. Egh need to respond in some way. I have nothing. Except for 'that's nice' (mrs brown voice)

  9. #6
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    Wow, sounds tough. I can see why you don't want to leave her there. I'm out of ideas, sorry!

    Sent from my HTC Desire X using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  11. #7
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    Thanks for words and offering it's a weighted situation, and with the history leaves me so utterly speechless at times. It's arrogant to the hilt. I ended up ignoring and just asking what was on for the rest of the week!

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    'Feel free to come over and help', 'my place is filthy' and 'my bills are expensive'. Goodness me. I would just ignore him. You are no longer his partner and you never were his mama. If he wants you to clean whilst he spends time with dd then make sure you are being paid, otherwise he can jump. I'm thinking as a single mum you probably have enough to do.

  13. #9
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    Bbbh, Damn skippy I do, haha I gave him my weeks availability, and his response was why so busy? :O. I'm expecting bub 2 as well in feb. oops, now I'm just here to ***** effing grr.

  14. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dreamer1 View Post
    Bbbh, Damn skippy I do, haha I gave him my weeks availability, and his response was why so busy? :O. I'm expecting bub 2 as well in feb. oops, now I'm just here to ***** effing grr.
    I would let him know that dd is available to see you at these times this week and he can come see her. If he chooses to do other things then he misses out. I would be letting him know that 'dd and I are doing grocery shopping between .... and ..... If you would like to see her then feel free and push the trolley with her in it'. Then he can pack your groceries into your car (because you are pregnant). Or he can meet you at a park. He can play with dd, you can read a magazine and put your feet up. I wouldn't want him in my home tbh. I understand he is busy but you're busy growing a baby and looking after a child.

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