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  1. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Why is it, that when anyone ever disagrees with you for whatever reason you bring out the Ol "bleeding heart" line? This isn't about you being in the minority at all. It is about you not having empathy for others, it always has been about that. You are completely unwilling to see any other side of any story except the one you think is right.
    Pot meet kettle...

    When i feel others aren't willing to understand my different and perhaps BH socially uncomfortable view I pull out the bleeding heart line. Usually after people who feel I don't understand their BH socially comfortable view pull out the 'your ignorant and have no empathy line.'

    We are all just as biased, blinkered and rude as each other.


  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    3 months? That's super early!
    Tell her that. Apparently she doesn't read the internet to know what should be happening when.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    You say ignorant.. (I suppose disagreeing with the bleeding heart majority does qualify me under BH standards... ) I say thinking long and hard about preventative measures is the opposite of burying my head in the sand.
    - online grocery deliveries... A walk to the shops with bubs in the stroller (an hour each way? Even better, exercise is great). Hubby picking up milk on the way home... There are alternatives.

    I'm sorry but I don't think there is any excuse for driving when you are essentially drunk. Being a new parent is not a free pass for.... Negligence.
    No online shopping where I live. DP can't skip work- that's our income, and if he misses one rostered day, he can kiss his extra shifts goodbye. That's our cream. My father is a farmer, my mother has 3 jobs. My SIL a school teacher, so no, no one can drop what they're doing to come help me. I don't even have a 'community' to help me... I couldn't call one single person who I know would be able or willing to help. AND on top of it all, DP does shifts, Day shift he is gone 5am-7pm. Night shift he obviously sleeps all day then is gone from 5pm-7am.
    It's just not as easy as you make it out to be, and that's why I feel you can't empathise- because you refuse to believe that some people don't have other options when they're tired.
    Not everyone is as seemingly lucky as you.

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  4. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    So... The judge presiding over the mans case wasn't educated or well informed yet the person who wrote the article was?

    Our personal biases on both sides are clouding this issue. You can't on one hand say everyone is entitle to their opinion and then on the other hand imply that only those who agree with certain cherry picked articles have 'proper information'.

    I'm sorry but you and others are just as biased and blind as me. The difference is we are sitting on different sides of the fence.
    I'm not saying your right or wrong, in saying your opinion doesn't really matter for much at the end of the day even though your copious post repeating it.

    My opinion doesn't count for much either.

    We don't make the laws/judgements and niether of us has any expertise in the area.

    You just bang on about it like you do

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Pot meet kettle...

    When i feel others aren't willing to understand my different and perhaps BH socially uncomfortable view I pull out the bleeding heart line. Usually after people who feel I don't understand their BH socially comfortable view pull out the 'your ignorant and have no empathy line.'

    We are all just as biased, blinkered and rude as each other.

    See. I was reading this yesterday and saw your point about leaving kids in the car when paying for petrol and was going to comment that I could see what you were saying. Except I got distracted (thank heavens I wasn't parenting at the time, right?!) and only came back to the thread this morning.

    By that time you had lurched from making analogies into full blown sanctimummy mode.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Not saying at all you aren't a good mother and don't adore your kids. A preventative measure in your case would have been you not looking after kids on your own if you were so ill. To be looking after a kid on your own when you are extremely ill is negligent (imo, othera can disagree). The fact that your hubby was there to pick up on things suggests that your kids had appropriate supervision at the time.
    My day today is going to consist of sitting on the couch with the flu hoping the kids don't do anything too bad, except for the bit where I have to drive to the shop. I have no online shopping, no family who can help and hubby is in the middle of harvest so he can't take a day off. Methinks it's time to move to a perfect world so I don't have to be negligent.

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  8. #86
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    Vic, do you have such a lack of empathy IRL too? Or is it just when you're behind the keyboard?
    If you are the same then I really feel sorry for you.

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  10. #87
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    To some extent I can see what VP is saying - as mothers, particularly those of us with minimal support, we constantly spend our day weighing up the risks of what we are doing. Do I leave bub on the change table and duck into the next room to get more wipes? Or do I lug him with me? Etc. I just think the line between accident and negligence can be very blurry. To me it's about risk management,

    My back has been agonizing for the past fortnight. Last Thursday I was home alone, up since 5am and had taken a strong painkiller so I could carry my little chubba around more easily. The cot mattress had been raised so I didn't have to bend down too far to get him. He woke up from his nap, and I tried to resettle him. His eyes were shut, he was lying down. I lay down and shut my eyes for a minute. One minute was all it took for him to stand up, walk around and fall out of his crib. Thank God he didn't land on his head or break his neck. I took the risk that he wouldn't do that. I knew it was a risk, but I assessed that it was ok.

    The doctor in the emergency room gave me a spray and I'm pretty sure he made a notification/suspected abuse, because he also had me take DS's nappy off (why would he need to do that?). I was negligent. I'm sure VP would agree! I feel horrible about it. BUT it was also an accident. They are called accidents for a reason. No one intends for them to happen. But, aside from freak accidents like tree branches falling on cars etc., they don't happen in a vacuum.

    VP, what I think you are failing to acknowledge is that sometimes our choices are limited, and we have to make assessments based on those options.

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    Maybe so, but I never name call when people don't agree with me VP. I didn't call you ignorant, I did pull you up on using your 'bleeding hearts" line as an insult.

    I kind of get where you are coming from, but I just don't think you really know what extreme tiredness really feels like - you will though - when you little one arrives

    If I stayed home every time I was exhausted, I would have done nothing, literally nothing in the past 2.5 years, that is what 3 kids within 21 months does to a person. Of course, it depends on the baby as well, if you have a cruisey baby, then you'll be less tired, if you have a baby that screams 24/7 then you'll be tired regardless of if you have one or 20.

    It is not feasible for lots of people to rest when they are tired, they may have mortgages, debts, bills and they need to work regardless of if they are tired. I was so lucky, when I got sick after my last bubs, DH's work let him have 2 months off to look after us. Not everyone is that lucky though. And the place where DH works now would not be so flexible.

    If you get the time, try get hold of the story that was on Oprah, that woman was not on the phone or anything. And she is a tormented soul, I cannot even begin to imagine what it must feel like to be the cause of your babies death. It would be beyond agonising.

    PS- I am a bleeding heart. I don't see why that is considered a bad thing?



    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Pot meet kettle...

    When i feel others aren't willing to understand my different and perhaps BH socially uncomfortable view I pull out the bleeding heart line. Usually after people who feel I don't understand their BH socially comfortable view pull out the 'your ignorant and have no empathy line.'

    We are all just as biased, blinkered and rude as each other.


  12. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Not saying at all you aren't a good mother and don't adore your kids. A preventative measure in your case would have been you not looking after kids on your own if you were so ill. To be looking after a kid on your own when you are extremely ill is negligent (imo, othera can disagree). The fact that your hubby was there to pick up on things suggests that your kids had appropriate supervision at the time.


    Oh VP, I sincerely hope that was a joke, cause it sure is funny!

  13. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Not saying at all you aren't a good mother and don't adore your kids. A preventative measure in your case would have been you not looking after kids on your own if you were so ill. To be looking after a kid on your own when you are extremely ill is negligent (imo, othera can disagree). The fact that your hubby was there to pick up on things suggests that your kids had appropriate supervision at the time.
    You serious? So what do FIFO, army partners, single parents or anyone else who is home sick with one or multiple children do??



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