I think you have gone a bit far down this road VP.
Remove the distractions,fatigue etc in the equation. Have you never operated on autopilot?
I drive past my kids FDC to get to work, the other day I drove straight past, DS pipes up a few streets later `Hey Mum why didn't you stop at FDC Mum's place?'. I was merrily driving myself to work, I was not tired, or talking on the phone, just operating on autopilot.
Now remove the talking toddler and add a sleeping baby in a rear facing seat. Maybe your partner put the nappy bag in the backseat instead of the passenger seat so that reminder was not immediately visible.
Human beings f!ck up sometimes. A f!ck up of such monumental proportions that your baby cooks to death in the car, really nothing more horrific on this planet. But the human brain does lapse, it does go into autopilot when you are completing tasks that you have done hundreds of times.
Sometimes parents too are tragically human.
IMO it is more negligent to miss a days work, meaning your family will not eat for 3 days or the electricity will get cut off, than to drive to work tired.
From my experience if I didn't drive tired my DD would have been left at school all night several days a week in the first few months of my sons life. I was not tired that morning when I dropped her off. I live 6km out of town, I would have to walk on a 100km an hour road (no footpath - country arterial road) to get there. I was new to town so no network of mums to call on yet. DH works more hours than someone doing 2 full time jobs and all my family are interstate. I could move to town, but then I'd need a job to pay the higher rent, so then I would be even more tired.
We don't all live in an ideal world. Sometimes there is no good choice and bad choice - just 2 bad options to decide between.
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Of course I try not to, but when my son was a baby he was sick for almost two years, had operations and hardly slept. I had a daughter who was older but still needed to get to certain activities. A husband at the time who worked 6 day week 12 hour days shift work.
I sometimes forgot things. I sometimes drove tired because I had to get formula and used to have to take my son to Drs at least twice per week.
I hope you are volunteering to help other people who may not be managing to your standards.
I didn't understand this level of tiredness before I had DD, I had raised 3 boys previous but they were 'good sleepers'.
DD's first 18 months of life really opened my eyes to EXTREME complete and utter exhaustion on a level I didn't know existed. I lived on no doze plus.
It's funny, even though DD is now 22 months and at the moment sleeping really well, no matter how much sleep I get I still feel exhausted, it must be the lingering effects of such a long sleep deprivation.
I have nothing but sympathy for the parents that this has happened to and do think that this could happen to anyone of us if the conditions were right which is bone chilling.
If you are going through a particularly bad time with kids sleep at the moment put a sticky memo on the drivers side door that you can see when getting out of the car.
Ladies I know many of you are doing it tough I just can't bring myself to say its ok to take part in certain risky behavior. It's not OK to drive when drunk, it's not OK to drive when suffering from *extreme* tiredness or distraction. As that road safety slogan goes "drink drive bl00dy idi0t."
I'm not saying a solution will be easy. And I'm not saying I have all the answers. I'm not saying I go around and help other parents who are doing it tough. If you are suffering from *extreme* tiredness or distraction then it's your job, not mine, to come up with measures to prevent something catastrophic from happening.
Best of luck to all you overworked and tired mummas.
Last edited by VicPark; 14-11-2013 at 16:04.
I really hope this next bub of yours sleeps for you VP or you may learn first hand what it's like to be completely and utterly sleep deprived for an extended period and still have an older child to look after.
My oldest has to go to school. I cant keep him home every day because I am exhausted. My husband starts work at 5am so he cant drop him. My closest family member lives 30 minutes away and works so she cant drop him. So I drink a red bull, splash my face with cold water and drive him to school. Cos it's what parents have to do.
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