+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    236
    Thanks
    15
    Thanked
    64
    Reviews
    0

    Default being honest...

    I am wondering how common it is to openly tell someone you barely know that you hit, yell, swear, smack your kids.....then feel guilty about it.
    I am worried this mother has huge issues, but i dont want to upset her. I am worried for her kids, but i dont want to get involved.
    I feel she is a very angry person, and needs find a way to manage her feelings.

    But who am i to say all this to her? She obviously trusted me enough to tell me how she honestly discapline's her children....and i saw it for myself when she death stared her 4yr old and dragged her across the plagroup room to the corner for 'time out' because she kept taking a toy off her younger brother.........
    ........................or is this a cry for help?

    She's a mother of 3, her third bub is only a few weeks old, so sleep depriation may play a big part, but still, it made me sick to the stomach, and probably everyone else in the room to watch her treat her 4yr old this way.

    What do you do? i am trying to get closer to her to understand her a little more. Her dh is away a fair bit for work. I honestly think she's struggling, even though when i ask how things are she tells me "really, really, good!" and smiles......

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Posts
    1,260
    Thanks
    589
    Thanked
    687
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Well if shes that open around someone she barely knows I hate to think what goes on when you get to know her.

    Could be a cry for help. Ive never been there so I dont know how id react. Sleep dep and 2 kids ive done. Sleep dep and 3 im about too! Hubby being away done that too but never acted like you describe. But who knows what's going on with her so it would be unfair to judge.

    Yeah get to know her better youll soon find out if alarm bells ring.


    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #3
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
    Winner 2012 - Biggest Computer Nerd
    Winner 2013/14 - Funniest Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Posts
    9,354
    Thanks
    2,835
    Thanked
    9,033
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    If you dont want to get involved then dont?





    Mumma to two beautiful boys on the spectrum and one special little girl.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    If your gut is telling you to get involved then do... Her kids well being could be at risk.

    You could try something not too invasive first.. Such as "how are things going, do you need a hand or anything?" And go from there, follow her lead. Until you get more evidence (there may be a point past which you may need to report her actions).

  5. #5
    FearlessLeader's Avatar
    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Posts
    10,724
    Thanks
    2,498
    Thanked
    9,116
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    This all sounds like someone I know- the struggling, the cry for help, and the 'everything's fine' bright smiles. It's like they're two different people (or three or four)- constantly switching between facades. Honestly OP, you can try but don't get too emotionally invested. There's only so many times you can reach out to someone. If she keeps insisting she is fine all you can do really is keep an eye on her and if you see anything suspicious report her. It doesn't matter if she's struggling, if she is behaving like that and not admitting to needing help then she may need professionals to intervene.

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to FearlessLeader For This Useful Post:

    cheekychook  (11-11-2013),dancingchipmunk  (11-11-2013),Zombie_eyes  (11-11-2013)

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    817
    Thanks
    155
    Thanked
    249
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Beefie View Post
    I am wondering how common it is to openly tell someone you barely know that you hit, yell, swear, smack your kids.....then feel guilty about it.
    I think if she is telling you this- especially that she feels guilty- she is asking for help. I'd ask her what kind of help she thinks she needs considering she feels bad about what she is doing. I think I'd encourage her to talk to you, alot, and try see if being heard can alleviate some of her apparent frustration. During the conversations, if you feel comfortable, I'd bring up counselling/parenting programs/support programs to assist her. And maybe, if you are able and if she has no other supports offer to watch the kids while she attends counselling etc???

    She clearly isn't coping very well, and is telling you as much. I'd jump in till she tells you to nick off! Why not- could really help her and will definitely help her kids! At least on this occasion she started it. She came to you and told you what is happening- it isn't like you'd be some judgemental nosy parker putting their two cents in where it isn't welcome???


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Be honest ,have you/do you.....
    By MonsterMoosMum in forum General Chat
    Replies: 64
    Last Post: 01-09-2013, 08:42
  2. Be honest, have you?
    By MonsterMoosMum in forum General Chat
    Replies: 61
    Last Post: 17-08-2013, 11:30
  3. Be honest! How much did you pay for your dog?
    By Janesmum123 in forum Pets
    Replies: 79
    Last Post: 30-11-2012, 07:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Einsteinz Music
Fun & interactive music classes!
Classes are taught by professional musicians! Children are taught the fundamentals of music: beat, pitch, rhythm and tempo through hands-on experience. Click for more details!!!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!