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  1. #71
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    DH and i were chatting last night, about nothing in particular he bought up in convo something this woman said to him - he refered to her as: "im friends with and i work with her....."
    I said "do i know her? whats her name again?"... (no i dont know her)
    ....DH said the name of the contact that sent him the text msg!!

    So i prodded a bit more, ...."oh you guys must not have been that busy today to be sitting around talking crap...."
    DH: "yeah, this was during lunch break.....oh and i see her at (the sport dh plays)..... so we talk about more crap then too..."
    ME: "do you play against her at all? is she any good?...."
    DH: "nah she's terrible, i beat her all the time...its a running joke...."
    ME: "haha aww as long as its all in good fun then hey."
    DH: "yeah, she's cool.".

    He's was so openly honest about this woman, nothing seemed to sound like he was hiding or lying. Ususally when he's lying, the conversation doesnt flow. i genuinely think they are mates.
    I cant stop him having female mates. THAT would be shoving trust issues right in his face. I dont think he is doing anything wrong. But something wants me to keep tabs on this woman.
    Last edited by Beefie; 14-11-2013 at 12:37.

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  3. #72
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    Thanks for the update. In my opinion, and I know I don't know your husband, keeping tabs on this woman is a good idea. I was in a casual-ish relationship a few years ago that ended because he had fallen in love with someone from his work. As soon as he told me, I knew straight away who it was, because it was the only person he ever mentioned by name. So I guess I'm attuned to that sort of detail now. Do you think it's possible that he might have a harmless crush or something?

    I'm glad you managed to have a bit of a conversation about it. I hope you're feeling more relaxed too.

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  5. #73
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    I think if your gut is telling you something there's probably something to it. Is he usually secretive? I don't mean that in a deliberate/bad way but he says he's "friends" with this woman - why has he never mentioned her before? To get to friendship status I mean... my DP is uber quiet and often I have to prod him to get very basic information out of him but if he makes a friend I'd certainly have heard about it before it got to friendship status.

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    Possibly your DH is comfortable to talk about her because he has not done anything wrong and it's just a friendship at this stage?

    I still think it's a good idea with his past history to be wary of any friendship he sparks up with a female. A crush can develop from either or both sides quite easily.

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  9. #75
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    he works with many, many other women. I hear about a few of them he sometimes brings up. i dont ever usually go 'prodding'. He usually refers to them "this chick i work with"......not usually the freinds bit though. This woman has only been there from the beginning of this year and they work in the same department, so have things in common to discuss. I just think they hit it off and dh was a good help to her starting out at a new job...im wondering how they ended up also playing sport together too though?
    i am also friends with 2 other women he works with. They work in dh's department also, one of them is his superior. Im sure if i ask them about this woman, they could tell me more but i will only do so if it comes up in convo with them.

    yer...a few things are NQR but im satisfied that DH isnt doing anything wrong in my books. Quite innocent, as long as this woman knows her place.

    i guess i wll meet her at dh's work xmas party......
    Last edited by Beefie; 14-11-2013 at 12:57.

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  11. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post
    Possibly your DH is comfortable to talk about her because he has not done anything wrong and it's just a friendship at this stage?

    I still think it's a good idea with his past history to be wary of any friendship he sparks up with a female. A crush can develop from either or both sides quite easily.
    This is exactly right and the reason i want to keep tabs on this "friendship".

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    No, I don't think it sounds like he's doing anything wrong but with his history I can't say I blame you for feeling funny about it.

  14. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    No, I don't think it sounds like he's doing anything wrong but with his history I can't say I blame you for feeling funny about it.
    Thankyou. i will just keep track of things. hopefully meet her at dh's work xmas party....hopefully she brings a husband lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefie View Post
    DH and i were chatting last night, about nothing in particular he bought up in convo something this woman said to him - he refered to her as: "im friends with and i work with her....."
    I said "do i know her? whats her name again?"... (no i dont know her)
    ....DH said the name of the contact that sent him the text msg!!

    So i prodded a bit more, ...."oh you guys must not have been that busy today to be sitting around talking crap...."
    DH: "yeah, this was during lunch break.....oh and i see her at (the sport dh plays)..... so we talk about more crap then too..."
    ME: "do you play against her at all? is she any good?...."
    DH: "nah she's terrible, i beat her all the time...its a running joke...."
    ME: "haha aww as long as its all in good fun then hey."
    DH: "yeah, she's cool.".

    He's was so openly honest about this woman, nothing seemed to sound like he was hiding or lying. Ususally when he's lying, the conversation doesnt flow. i genuinely think they are mates.
    I cant stop him having female mates. THAT would be shoving trust issues right in his face. I dont think he is doing anything wrong. But something wants me to keep tabs on this woman.
    So he see's her at work, sport days and they've exchanged numbers and now text each other? :/ And why is this the first you've heard abut her? Do you think he'd be cool with you in that scenario if the situation was reversed? Hmm. He might not be doing anything wrong but it does sound like it has potential to be.. I would watch closely too.

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  18. #80
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    He might be innocently friends with her but maybe she wants more.

    With his track record that could be an issue for your relationship. If my DH cheated he'd be very lucky to be aloud to txt women I didn't know. Your a brave and lovely women for staying with him and I hope it's all innocent.

    My sister was in a similar situation her DH had cheated on her 5 yrs into there relationship and then in there 7th yr again. She left him for 6 months and they worked on it. It's been 4 yrs since all that and she has good and bad days as she feels that he can never really stop what drives the cheating but hopes he try's.

    Her 7 yr old son was on there computer and a Skype msg came up from a women my sister didn't recognize as her DS had called out to her when it came up. They have open communication as in they have each other's passwords can look at each other's phones etc. Any ways the msg said
    ' hey, nice running into you for lunch we should go for lunch next week if your free. Have a better chat?'

    My sister was sick straight away and called him in to ask what it was about. He blew it off as a girl who works on the floor above his that ( his best friend at work) has a thing for. That she was at the same place he was having a business lunch at and he ran into her and that's it. He said she's a nice women at his work but not to worry just a girl looking to build connections at work.

    A few days later he had removed her from his Skype.

    Then 2 wks later there DS was on his phone and Skype came up again from her and to my sisters horror it was her on DH DIFFERENT SECRET new Skype account.

    My point cheaters are great liars can be really smooth talkers when they want and these days it's easy to have different Facebook, Skype accounts etc.

    In my eyes once a cheater always a cheater even if it isn't physical, there are many forms of cheating.


    Asha 26, William 13 months

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