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  1. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefie View Post
    Last monday night 9.35pm he plays sport mixed teams. Possibly a team mate?
    god, now I feel sick.
    That definetly sounds plausible to me? But I'd feel that was a bit too friendly for me lol.
    No point in stressing, just ask him & if you don't believe him at least pretend you do & start digging deeper.

  2. #62
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    Am I the only one who openly goes through their DH's phone?

    To be clear, I don't do it looking for anything, but if he gets a message whilst it's near me or I'm playing a game on it, I open it & read it to him. He does the same to me.

    OP the fact that you think it is suss is a red flag. Do you know this woman? I would simply be asking who she is.

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  4. #63
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beefie View Post
    what could go wrong if i just asked him who the woman is?

    "hey dh, dd was playing in ur text mesgs...whos "name"?
    Will he think i was snooping and just used dd for cover?
    i dont want this to all blow up if it was just...nothing.
    After cheating twice your worried about it blowing up???? He should count his lucky stars your still with him and given the history I don't see why you have to feel the way you do about asking him... Good luck on whatever you decide to do and I wish you all the best hugs
    Last edited by Dansci0; 11-11-2013 at 22:05.

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  6. #64
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    Sounds really suss to me, sorry. My DP lets me read his text messages and emails if I want, and I let him do the same.

    If it were me I would just say what I saw and see what he said. His reaction to the question should speak volumes.

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  8. #65
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smyles View Post
    Am I the only one who openly goes through their DH's phone?

    To be clear, I don't do it looking for anything, but if he gets a message whilst it's near me or I'm playing a game on it, I open it & read it to him. He does the same to me.

    OP the fact that you think it is suss is a red flag. Do you know this woman? I would simply be asking who she is.
    I always go thru DH phone lol but I'm grade a snoop. He has a mate I cannot stand who he talks to semi regularly & a mate I adore who he doesn't talk to enough
    Then he has his in between mates who often ask him to go for a beer & he says no every time, which bothers me, he needs to go out sometimes!I wouldn't know these things if I didn't snoop.
    I don't snoop all the time just sometimes. I liken it to keeping tabs on my teenagers😄
    Starting to think I'm weird

  9. #66
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    I am so suss over this. All my "red alert" buttons are flashing. I hate seeing good women in a position where they have to wonder and stress over their partner's behaviour. In the ideal, fantasy world of Onedayatatime, all cheaters get dumped the first time and not taken back. (I took back a cheater when I was 25. Geez what a waste of time that was. So glad I saw the light eventually and got outta there.) It's horrible when you can't trust your man. (I spent 6 months after the cheating incident going through his phone and pockets and car secretly... and never ever satisfied that he was being 'good') Not a nice way to live life. Hope you get to the bottom of this. I want to say "Get rid of him!!!" but I know it's easier said than done. And not that simple. x

  10. #67
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    Just ask him, say exactly how you found it. Could be harmless and you are worrying about nothing..

    Sent from my LT29i using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #68
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    my first feeling is 'sus' but there are sorts of plausible explanations.

    He has not deleted it so that could be in his favour.

    I will follow with interest


    Dave The Turning Cowboy

    turning wood into art

  12. #69
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    I hate to say it but it you should always go with your instinct. If you are worried that its something suspicious, you're probably right. Hard to know how to approach him but I wouldn't think it's innocent if it were me given his past record.

  13. #70
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    Ok. Df cheated on me twice early on in our relationship. I got a similar bs excuse, which he now has since retracted and blamed himself entirely.

    I do trust him now, but every now and then I have moments of doubt. Justified because of our past, but not really justified as he has never done anything suss since. Contradicting I know but if you've been in the situation you'll understand.

    If I saw a message like that I'd ask him straight out. 'Who's so and so?'. No bs, no beating around the bush. Since he is your husband you are the only one who will be able to determine what his reaction means.

    I really hope it is 100% innocent.



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