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  1. #1
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    Default Need some advice!

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    Last edited by Mummy pig; 31-12-2013 at 07:42.

  2. #2
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    Bump 🙊

  3. #3
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    we have a bigger gap...6.5 years...but, i think 4 would be somewhat similar in some ways. 4 they are more independent and able to play while you feed/change etc

    Think about things that can avoid the pressure points...do your shopping online, make outings a walk to the park with bubs in the pram/sling, get extra support from family/friends/paid help (cleaners/food delivery), look into 4 year old kinders.

    Maybe start seeing a counsellor now...build a relationship now so that you can lean on them when needed.

    Mostly, congratulations and take care.

  4. #4
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    I have a 4 yr 1 month gap between DD 4yrs and DS nearly 5 months.
    Ill list the pros and cons for me but please note that my DS has GORD ( acid reflux) so vomits all day long and needs lots of attention.

    pros: I love that DD was old enough to be so interested and enthusiastic about my pregnancy. She askes lots of questions and couldn't wait to read what the baby was developing each week on an app we had.
    Dd adores he brother and it brings kore pure joy to watch them together.
    DD is able to communicate her needs and understand that she has to wait sometimes.
    DD is a fantastic help. She grabs things (bibs, spew cloths, clothes) for me, chats to and tries to calm DS os I cant get to him right that second because I am cooking or on the toilet or something.
    Only one child in nappies, waking during the night, one single pram.

    Cons:
    I feel bad that DD has to wait a lot as the baby cant wait and need often need to be tended to first.

    I don't have the energy for her that I used to and instead of racing around the park with her I now take her to the park so she can play and I can sit down and do nothing for a while.

    Getting two kids ready, out the door and in and out of car seats and DS in and out of the pram is often more time consuming than whatever we are leaving the house for.

    But even with DS health issues it is so worth it. We planned a smaller age gap bit it didnt work out that way due to fertility issues. But I think the large age gap is great. I had PND with DD and most of her first 6 months of life is a bit of a haze to be honest. I haven't experienced that with DS and am enjoying the baby stage so much. I am not in a rush for him to do things and I know that if we are having a night of sleep refusal that its not worth stressing about because its fleeting and soin he wull be 4 and wont need me to cuddle him to sleep anymore either.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  5. #5
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    I have a bigger gap too, nearly 5.5 years. Most of the pros and cons Jez listed would apply to us too. DD is a huge help, she gets stickers on her reward chart for helping especially when she does something without me asking. Like patting DS's tummy if he's upset in the car.

    DD had colic and the first 8 weeks were a screaming hell with me recovering from an emergency CS completely unprepared as she arrived 3 weeks early. It was a big factor in us waiting. We wanted a 4 yr gap but life had other plans for us.

    DS is soooo different to DD,so much calmer and less demanding. He's 5 months and just cut his 2nd tooth - neither have needed so much as a dose of panadol. He's just not phased by things and I can now see that DD was quite a high needs baby. Of course you can't choose your baby's temperament though!

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  6. #6
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    I have 20m between DD 5y and DS almost 4. Then DS2 is 7 m. Having a bigger age gap between the first 2 and the 3rd has made things soooo much easier. DD is like a little mummy and DS is constantly entertaining his baby brother. Having the two babies was extremely stressful.

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  7. #7
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    Yes I forgot to mention the entertainment factor now DS is a bit older is awesome. He loves DD and I need to spend a lot less time entertaining him than I did with DD who just seemed to need me every waking moment.

    Another thing I thought of. Once you have an older child, especially if they've started school/kindy, swimming, sports etc. You just can't be too rigid with the baby's routine. They get used to sleeping anywhere pretty quickly. Don't let this stress you out. DS's naps are still all over the place as every day we're doing different things but he's been sleeping through 8hrs minimum since 16 weeks. I think if you were trying to follow (for example) Tizzie Hall with a school aged sibling you'd go crazy.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #8
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    I had a 4 year gap with my daughter and son and it was great! My daughter was old enough to help mummy and I could explain when I was tired and she'd understand. They now 7 and 3 play really well together.
    It's funny you say you feel overwhelmed thinking about leaving home with a 4 year old and a newborn but imagine if you'd had 2 under 2...it's a bit nerve racking at first but after the first time you wondered what on earth you were worried about, I just bought a sling for my baby and walked around the shops. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy it's a lot easier second time round xx


 

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