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  1. #1
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    Default Info from all those who have BTDT with Egg donors...

    Hi,
    so DH and I have had it confirmed with our recent third failed ICSI IVF that the only route we have to have a child will be with donor eggs. While I am still grappling with the magnitude of that DH is happy to proceed 'whenever I feel ready' ...
    so being the planner that I am I have trolled the various websites for donors here in Australia and OS. At this stage If we choose to go OS I kinda have a preference for which country but wanted to ask those who had done this already:

    1. what was your primary concern when choosing a clinic?
    (ie did you pick your clinic first and then a donor that serviced this clinic or did you choose a donor first and pick a clinic close by?)

    2. Should blood type be a consideration? (I am Rh negative, does this make a difference?)

    3. What criteria did you use when picking a donor?
    (did you choose by physical aesthetics ? Age? Cultural heritage? Medical background? Tried and tested donor?)

    And I guess what also terrifies me at this early stage of our decision making is for those that did it and ended up with a BFN, what did you think was the underlying factor?

    Looking forward to your feedback.

  2. #2
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    Hi Blinky,
    Firstly I'm sorry that you have had to get to this point. Infertility is horrible, there's no other way to describe it.
    We have children who were conceived through donor IVF in the Czech Republic.
    We had gone through two own egg cycles here in Australia, neither produced any embryos that made it to transfer. We spoke to our fertility specialist and he said that we should consider an egg donor. Interestingly, he told us that if we could afford to go overseas we should and to not even bother trying to find a donor in Australia. He explained the process is long, complicated and after looking into it myself I felt the process to be rather demeaning. I didn't want to 'advertise' for someone to rescue us.

    The specialist suggested to us America and the Czech Republic to get a good physical match. America can be very expensive, he suggested a clinic in Colorado or he suggested the Czech Republic as having good standards and a good record and being more affordable. We said we'd even be happy to go to Thailand but he advised against it as we are both caucasian, I'm blonde, blue eyes. He said that even though we don't care what our child looks like and would love them to remember that other people aren't so understanding and the child would be bullied, people would think I'd had an affair etc etc. So we ruled that one out!

    We chose the Czech Republic as we have family in the UK so were able to combine our IVF trip with a European holiday and visiting family. I googled clinics and read what people were saying on message boards and contacted several clinics. I then went with what suited us and what felt right following contact.

    I recommend combining an IVF trip with a bit of a holiday. If the IVF doesn't work, and ours didn't the first time, then you feel like you've had such a wasted trip. Having a holiday on the side gave us some nice memories and we didn't feel like it was a waste at all. I don't look back on our first trip with sadness that we lost a child but think about all the incredible experiences we had.

    The clinics in the Czech Republic have their own databases of donors and donation is anonymous. You send some photos of yourself and what you are looking for from your donor and they find a match from their database. I asked for under 25, proven donor, non smoker and a physical match. Our clinic is part of a university hospital and as donors can accept payment most donors are university students. I liked this process, it was quick and easy. Some people find it hard handing this process over to someone else. I had looked through databases of USA egg donors and just decided I didn't want to pick, it was too hard to pick and really I didn't want to. I also didn't want photos of someone to be able to compare my children to. Also the reason why we didn't want to do donation in Australia. We didn't want someone else involved in our lives and to feel like they were looking over our shoulder at how we'd raise 'their' egg/s. Funnily enough, everyone says that my kids look like me. I believe that children are a product of their environment anyway.

    As for blood type, this is probably something to discuss with your specialist.

    When we lost the pregnancy from our first DE IVF my specialist ran a few more tests. He had told us a year before that IVF is not always a solution, it can be a way of finding answers too. They thought I just had an egg problem but when I had good embryos and still had problems they decided there was another problem too. They ran some tests that are far from routine and then found something rather rare with my uterus and I had some treatment for it. Our second try was then successful. So I guess keeping in mind that IVF isn't always the solution but can be used to find a solution is a good idea.

    All the best for whatever step you take next, I hope this info has been helpful!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Alice284 For This Useful Post:

    Blinky76  (10-11-2013)

  4. #3
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    Thankyou Alice, yes that has been very helpful!

    So if the donation is anon. And is chosen for you in Czech clinics do you get any medical information regarding your donor? When Do you find out about this in the process?

  5. #4
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    I Thought I should add that if anyone felt they did not want to reply to my OP In such a public way, I am happy to take the feedback in a PM if you don't feel comfortable writing your responses for public view? ( I had thought with such active threads in egg donation in Czech and SA that I might have got more responses ?? )
    for the record I am not out for debate or criticism of people's choices , I just want to compare ideas and maybe hear different ways of looking at things; incase there are options/scenarios that I had not considered...
    Last edited by Blinky76; 10-11-2013 at 20:08. Reason: Spelling!

  6. #5
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    Yes, you can access medical and some general info about your donor (height, weight, hair and eye colour etc. Some people have also been told a little more about their donors such as their occupation, hobbies etc. This is available to you either after donation/ upon confirmation of your donor / or when the donor start stimm - I can't remember but the clinic will tell you if you ask. I haven't wanted to know anything as of yet but if I do need to know something then I would contact them and they'll let me know. I don't want to know because I don't want to go looking for those things in my children, I just want them to be whoever they are meant to be!

    What you may find is that most people would have the thread they are involved in, SA or CZ, bookmarked so they just go straight there bypassing the main donation page. I don't think it's that people don't want to share, they just might not have seen your thread. Our journey of infertility and ED is a 5 year saga but we now have our family and feel so so so incredibly lucky. I'm more than happy to offer help to other people in the same situation as we've been there and now we're so happy, I want other people to be happy too! Sounds corny but it's how I feel! I know lots of of other DE families are the same.
    Last edited by Alice284; 10-11-2013 at 20:58.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to Alice284 For This Useful Post:

    Blinky76  (11-11-2013)


 

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