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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Hubby's caved and the dolly is in the house. In the end I think he was 'playing' with me. Asked a few questions at the start.... Then couldn't really give a hoot.. Yep he knew what I was up to and he played me..
    He sounds like my DH, a stirrer lol

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  3. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    Agree with the sentiment here!

    My daughter (15 months) loves wheels, and is at least as messy as the boys in our mums' group... yet no one has ever commented on her being "such a boy" etc. like they do with the boys. Instead she gets comments on how pretty her dress is, or how much someone loves her hair.

    We all have what's known as confirmation bias. We take available information, and we filter it in a way that's more likely to confirm what we already think. Take two children - a girl and a boy - who behave in EXACTLY the same way, and it'll be quite common for people to focus on the "girly" things that the girl does whilst ignoring the "masculine", and vice versa.

    That's not to say that some young children don't have stereotypical preferences, but research seems to show that these preferences are internalized more from about age 2/2.5 onward, when kids start to understand that they belong to one particular gender group, and that adults place great importance on that.
    great post!

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  5. #103
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    I dunno - I still think perhaps we are projecting what we think the kids should like into our decisions about what toys to buy, not basing our decision on what the kids actually prefer. I'm not sure what age you're talking about either, op? I know quite a few have said they have seen their little boys enjoy girly toys, but that hasn't been my experience at all. I have 3 sons and 2 daughters. None of the boys ever played with dolls - it was either trucks or running around shooting things (no matter how much I tried to discourage toy guns at the beginning) and rough and tumble play. The girls like dolls and playing make believe (dressing up in fairy costumes), and are much more keen on colouring and drawing and making up stories. They have all had access to all types of toys and just seemed naturally more interested in the toys made for their gender.

    I actually wanted one of my boys to do dancing - he's a great mover, but he wasn't interested. The girls hate football, but like dancing. I have told them all they can do what they like.

    It really doesn't matter does it? That's just been my experience. If your little one likes dollls, good for him. None of mine did, I even bought manly type soldier dolls but they wouldn't play with them lol. The girls did.

  6. #104
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    If I had a boy it wouldnt bother me in the slightest if he wanted to play with dolls. I have a dd (almost 2 yrs) and recently a stranger told me that she was a weird little girl for liking crocodiles! Just because that day she decided to leave her dolly at home & take her squeaky toy crocodile to the shops does not mean she's weird! Its an animal. Kids should be able to play with what ever they like without judgement.

  7. #105
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    I think it is very very hard to give your kids genuine gender neutral play options, I have found from a very early age kids are given gender specific toys. We have a communal play space which has most of the toys stored so the kids have access to all toys.

    But for some presents they get given as gifts, they are kept in their rooms just because of space issues. So my daughter has a dolls bed, pram, dollhouse and a bunch of dolls in her room (all these were given to her as first birthday presents). DS has a train table and trains in his room.

    So I could say, oh my kids have naturally gravitated towards toys specific to their gender, but really from as soon as they started to receive gifts they were being directed to play with gender specific toys.

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  9. #106
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  11. #107
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    I'd get him one only if you're certain it's something he'd play with, and not because you are trying to make a point to hubby or others.

    I've noticed that most little boys aren't the slightest bit interested in toys typically played with by girls - using your example, a doll and stroller. They might give it a bit of a attention for a moment, or use it in a way that it's not meant to be used - a stroller might be pushed down the road with another kid in it (trying to think of an example).

    So, while I don't think there's anything wrong with it - I just think, generally speaking, boys like boy stuff and girls like girls stuff.

    such a narrow view on parenting both sexes ... such a shame as you are raising the next generation to think the same.


    My son adores his 'baby sister' - a pink kmart doll, he takes everywhere with him. The kids are being bought a tea set for christmas as he loves 'making mummy a cup of tea'. On the flip side, my daughter loves Thomas, my son's firetrucks and cars and is forever hooning down the hall with her brother, on a 'motorbike' yelling out neenaw neenaw (she's driving a firetruck).

    My husband is a chef and the kids will be super excited when they see they have a Kitchen on Christmas day.

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  13. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    I bought DS a baby doll and a stroller when I was pregnant with DD!. DS loved that doll.

    He is now 16 and it didn't turn him gay.

    The kids were reminiscing on what toys they loved when they were little, and DS did recount how much he loved his baby doll in the stroller..

    EXdh on the other hand hit the roof, but he had no choice as I bought it when he wasn't around. Exdh was sure it would make him gay. He thought the same thing about DS learning sewing and french knitting at school as well. . Exdh is very um special.
    OMG I think we may have the same Exdh hahahahahahahah

  14. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsma10 View Post
    such a narrow view on parenting both sexes ... such a shame as you are raising the next generation to think the same.

    I agree, as I said before, my youngest DS has a set of twins and pink stroller and looks after them. And he is as rough an tumble as the next 2.5 year old toddler.

    I see parents in the shops, and their little boy will point to something girly and pink and the parents will scrunch their faces up and say things like "Thats a girl toy, boys don't play with pink toys".

    So yeah, I don't think it has anything in the slightest to do with girls preferring girls and boys preferring boys - and everything to do with society telling them from the moment they are born (you only have to look at baby clothing), that it is right for girls to like pink and boys to like blue.

    I used to love tonka trucks and playing touch footy when I was young, handball etc, the kids used to call me a tomboy. I am nothing like a tomboy as an adult.

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  16. #110
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    Oh, the parents in shops... *sigh* I see it all the time. I SO want to yell at them (or, you know, calmly discuss the issue....) but of course I keep my nose out.

    Was in Ikea just 2 days ago with my daughter, and a little boy about 18 months was looking at these little toy/doll goats. He picked up one to show his mum and she goes "oh no, that's a GIRL one! Here, here's a boy one!" and then took it with them. Said goat was one on the right:
    Attachment 46619
    I mean, really!? Why on earth would it matter if an 18 month old had a goat in a dress??


 

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