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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by PurpleButterfly4 View Post
    Hmmm that's a hard one. I'd still be very cautious about it.
    I'm sure your partner won't forget what happened easily, so could it be more he mets up with her first and see what happens ie what she says or does.


    Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)
    Im not sure to be honest but he swears he wont let her do anything or allow but ive also found he has trouble standing up for homself when it comes to her im trying to be positive but its a lil hard just scared to take that step he hasnt forgotten but he changes his mind all the time so I dunno but he is aware I fear what will happen.

    from mummy with two cheeky monkey's and one more on the way!

  2. #12
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    So a lil about the situation im trying to forgive someone who has hurt me so much and has neally destroyed my family too. But im feeling its time to forgive and allow this person back in my life but having trouble how this person meant alot to me and I miss them heaps but they did alot of things wrong so how do I move on from this??
    I wrestled with this for a while regarding a family member. This person wasn't remorseful for what they had done and felt that I should have just let bygones be bygones and forget about their indiscretion. What this person did rocked the family and damaged relationships. I knew they weren't going to change.

    I learned that forgiving didn't have to be about an apology from or about them at all nor did it involve letting them back in, that I could move on by letting them and what they did go and focus on the future. Eventually I stopped missing them and realised that life was a lot better without them in it. I wrestled with the guilt that this realisation brought but I arrived at a place of peace and yes, that's pretty much what forgiveness feels like.

    I wish you all the best with this.

  3. #13
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    Thank yous all for your advice hopefully I can make the right desion and hope that the other party may grow up and respect dh decision thank yous all your advice has been so helpful and greatful.

    from mummy with two cheeky monkey's and one more on the way!

  4. #14
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    Ok, I wouldn't want someone like that in my life. Honestly why would his sister ask him to choose between his wife and her... it's weird and inappropriate is she going to move in with him and cook clean and keep the children if he said I choose you!? Very morbid behavior on her part.
    I think if he wants to call her to see how she's doing that's fine, but I would leave it to that.

  5. #15
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    I don't know if this will apply to you but I can forgive people for the purpose of me not holding hurt and negative emotions which can make me miserable and angry. The other person doesn't need to know that I have forgiven them. It just 'frees me up' emotionally. However, if you want to take it one step further you can let them back into your life with some very defined boundaries that you set yourself (or maybe you and your partner). Again you don't need to let the person know about the boundary, you just need to be very sure of the boundary yourself. For example, if the person says anything negative about you (your relationship, your kids etc) then they have crossed a line and broken your boundary. The consequence of this will be: no more contact or whatever you have decided. If the person has no insight or remorse I would probably not let them back into my life or I would have very tight boundaries You will also need to be willing to walk away again as some people have no moral compass and take no responsibility for their actions

  6. #16
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    I've just had to make the decision to stop speaking to my younger sister for similar reason in that she just created drama, constantly taking money and attacking both me and my partner. I never said that she couldn't see is just I wanted an apology. I hate fighting with family but a happy mum is more important than a happy aunty. She misses out and makes her own choice not to make peace much like your sil. She's the one driving the wedge and if she refuses to accept you than she is creating her own problem you've done all you can to try and reach a solution

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    bubbles89  (10-11-2013)

  8. #17
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    It's hard to offer any advice without knowing the specifics of the situation. For someone to try and take your kids away she would have had to have thought that there were some issues you needed help with. Were there? Is it possible she just got the level of the problem wrong? (Eg she thought it was a 9/10 when it was just a 5/10?).

    Not saying this is necessarily what happened but I would have to know the specifics of what was the lie/misunderstanding before offering advice.

  9. #18
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    Na there waz no reason otherwise I could have understood why but she hates me and im ok with that I just wanted her stop trying to fill my shoes with her friends and stop trying to take my children and except the fact that dh loves me and we are happy otherwise leave us alone.

    from mummy with two cheeky monkey's and one more on the way!

  10. #19
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    Hugs.

    I'd start contact but no way try and have some happy relationship straight away

  11. #20
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    You can forgive for your own benefit, to let go of the anger and restore your inner peace.

    This does not mean what they did was ok

    It does nit mean u have to welcome them back in your life.

    I have done the above with a family member ( well am trying) but I dont want them in my life as they continue to be abusive and hurtful and are never sorry. But the hurt and anger was eating away at me everyday and consuming my thoughts.

    So I have forgiven as in let go of the anger.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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