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  1. #51
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    I don't NEED help but I do call mum over every now and then to entertain DD while I catch up on laundry or go grocery shopping just because its that much easier when I do and mum enjoys the time with DD.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    My OP says I have an extended family member who has 2 dd's, both in primary school and she still needs her mum to help her get her kids ready in the mornings.

    I said nothing about multiples, spewers, non sleepers, 3 kids under 5, colicky babies etc. That is a no brainer.

    No wonder so many threads get shut down because some.seem to get sand in their **** over something that wasn't said at all!

    Genuine question it was. I've never had a colicky bub. I have worked full time with one 6 month old and one 3 year old. I get it.


    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Perhaps you should re-read your post and put yourself in a struggling mums shoes and see how it could come across badly.

    Maybe you didn't mean to offend but surely if you read it and imagine someone who has struggled and needed help might feel inferior because of the wording in the post?

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to peanutmonkey For This Useful Post:

    Acadaca  (06-11-2013),Cicho  (06-11-2013),RipperRita  (06-11-2013),shy  (06-11-2013)

  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrJones&Me View Post
    Yep. And I only have one toddler.

    I need help in the sense of DD going to daycare one day a week so I can get respite.

    I'm not ashamed and don't give a rats *** if someone thinks I'm lazy or that someone else is raising my children.

    This is me too -- yes I have help, my 20 month old DS goes to childcare one day a week. Yes he's "MY son" in response to the OP's comment -- he's MY son who has barely slept his whole life - a standard day for him nowadays is awake at 4:30, & go go go til about midday where he'll nap for 30 mins, & then go go go til about 8:30 when he goes to bed. Usually also wakes twice during the night. This "routine" is good compared to what it used to be.....

    Judge away, I don't care - after a year and a half of no sleep & no time/ability to properly cook or clean, dealing with his multiple food allergies & also trying to grow his (unplanned) baby brother, the past few months of having him in childcare one day a week have been bliss!!!

    I don't understand the purpose of this thread -- I see this as the OP making herself out to be a better parent than others - I couldn't give a rats - but there are poor parents out there reading the OP & feeling crap about themselves, it's not helpful!

  5. #54
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    I don't need help. I can clean my house, fold my washing and look after my kids myself. After all they are MY kids. And that is why I had them!

    I understand the 'it takes a village' thing (I think!) but really, do some mum's really need help with their kids?


    I see in some posts that mum's and MIL's help with cleaning and chores etc and it seems the norm for some, but I don't get it.
    it really did come across as a bit sanctimonious to me to be completely honest. Everybody is different. I have nil interest in not having a village. I don't technically need help, I won't die without it, in fact I'm not feeling particularly overwhelmed. It just isn't how my family functions. We all help each other and see each other regularly.

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  7. #55
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    My DS goes to his fathers 4 nights a fortnight and my mums two (so I can go to a night clas at uni). I study full time and work part time. Even with 6 nights free I still struggle sometimes to get everything done. My daughter picks him up two afternoons a fortnight from school while I'm at uni too.

    My mum rarely helps with anything other then childcare. But would if I asked/ was really sick etc

    That said, I am quite healthy, I don't have new born, I don't have special needs children and I only have one young child. I don't suffer depression and I have no disabilities.

    If someone else needs help who cares. If someone else gets help who cares. I do think it takes a village and I'm grateful to mine.

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  9. #56
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    Simple answer is NO but sometimes it'd be nice to have some help especially when DH works away and all 4 girls get sick at once or worse hospitalised!

  10. #57
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    This seems to be a common thread I have been picking up lately on BH...that if family are visiting too much, offering to help with chores, wanting to be involved with and help with the kids they are `interfering'.

    I really do not understand it, is that not what family and friends are for? To look after each other and be there?

    I know everyone is not so lucky to have family that is around or present or involved, but if you are, why on earth would you shut them out for fear they are interfering or feeling you have to not accept help...for what reason I don't know.

    Why would anyone not want their life made a little easier?

    I embrace my village

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  12. #58
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    I loooooove my village! So much. It's incredibly important to me. Admittedly my village don't sound half as annoying as some though lol, if they bugged the crap out of me I would be more than happy to go it alone!

  13. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoteToSelf View Post
    This seems to be a common thread I have been picking up lately on BH...that if family are visiting too much, offering to help with chores, wanting to be involved with and help with the kids they are `interfering'.

    I really do not understand it, is that not what family and friends are for? To look after each other and be there?

    I know everyone is not so lucky to have family that is around or present or involved, but if you are, why on earth would you shut them out for fear they are interfering or feeling you have to not accept help...for what reason I don't know.

    Why would anyone not want their life made a little easier?

    I embrace my village
    Very well said. Then often the same ppl get upset and say they feel lonely/neglected by their family and friends.

    I have a fabulous circle of family and friends. All generous with time and help.

    Sent from my HTC One SV using The Bub Hub mobile app

  14. #60
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    Honestly who cares if other mum's need help or not, we all know how hard it can be at times and if help is available why wouldn't you take it.
    It's strange to even have an opinion on it. People really do need to stop worrying what other people are doing.

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