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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    Oh believe me, I am not superior. I didn't bf, use cloth, co-sleepmor any of those other things that seem to make whatbis considered a 'good mum' here on BH.

    I am genuinely interested. If you are reading my question as a snarky swipe at yourself personally please go back and read the OP. And all the other posts as well.

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    Its the "after all they are MY kids, that's why I had them" bit.

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  3. #42
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    Yes I do need help. I have 3 small boys under 5. They create mess quicker than I can clean it and they are full-on. There's no breaks for me to clean. Plus they don't sleep we'll so it's very often that I'm not in bed until 11 having put Ds1 back to bed after a nightmare, Ds2 back to bed because he wants a cuddle and DS3 wakes for a BF. On top of that DS1 is chronically ill so that makes it hard.

    So my mum comes over once a week and will often give me a hand. It's a godsend. She either entertains the boys or lends a hand with chores.

    I'm on the other side of the fence and have no idea how you'd do it without help or putting up with an unclean home. Your kids must be in school/huge age gap/only 2 kids. I doubt you'd cope in my house!

  4. #43
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    Yep. And I only have one toddler.

    I need help in the sense of DD going to daycare one day a week so I can get respite.

    I'm not ashamed and don't give a rats *** if someone thinks I'm lazy or that someone else is raising my children.

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  6. #44
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    My OP says I have an extended family member who has 2 dd's, both in primary school and she still needs her mum to help her get her kids ready in the mornings.

    I said nothing about multiples, spewers, non sleepers, 3 kids under 5, colicky babies etc. That is a no brainer.

    No wonder so many threads get shut down because some.seem to get sand in their **** over something that wasn't said at all!

    Genuine question it was. I've never had a colicky bub. I have worked full time with one 6 month old and one 3 year old. I get it.


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  8. #45
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    Nope. But my house isn't immaculate. It's not dirty or messy but it is lived in. The washing lives on a table (it's folded but rarely gets put away) my floors need mopping but I'm not doing it until Saturday
    Last edited by BigRedV; 06-11-2013 at 18:48.

  9. #46
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    For me, I find it hard to accept help. I like things done the way I do them, it also makes me feel good to get things done myself (I'm very independent).
    I get embarrassed if people think I need it to begin with, and if someone is visiting I'd rather spend time with them (it's rare for me to socialize so it's better for me to sit down, relax and chat).
    I'm also pretty organized and my house is easy to look after, so if I know I'll be out of action for a while I'll give it a good clean and just have to do minimal tidying to keep it nice
    As for child care, I hate being away from my DD, I find it more stressful than just looking after her myself. I also like including her everywhere I go, it's valuable socialization and I don't go anywhere she wouldn't be welcome (like out drinking or anything).



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  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    Its the "after all they are MY kids, that's why I had them" bit.
    And also the tone of 'really? You really NEED help??' As if those of us who do ask for or rely on help don't reaaalllly need it and are just being a bit slack.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    My OP says I have an extended family member who has 2 dd's, both in primary school and she still needs her mum to help her get her kids ready in the mornings.

    I said nothing about multiples, spewers, non sleepers, 3 kids under 5, colicky babies etc. That is a no brainer.

    No wonder so many threads get shut down because some.seem to get sand in their **** over something that wasn't said at all!

    Genuine question it was. I've never had a colicky bub. I have worked full time with one 6 month old and one 3 year old. I get it.


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    Your op didn't ask why that one mother needed help...of course she's the only one that can answer that one... You said you don't understand why some mothers need help. You wanted to know why, people told you why.

    It isn't hard to work out why people get help. Help makes everyone's life easier. Nothing wrong with that!

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  14. #49
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    Pregalicious is offline "Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple."
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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    Nope. But my house isn't immaculate. It's not dirty or messy but it is lived in. The washing lives on a table (it's folded but rarely gets put away) my floors need mopping but I'm not doing it until Saturday
    that is simply scandalous!!

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    I don't NEED help but sometimes things do get on top of me and it would be nice to have a cleaner or something! I never accept help for cleaning/washing from my mum - even straight after the births of my girls - coz I'd feel bad! DH works long hours so my parents take my girls for a couple of hours every now and then so I can catch up on paperwork or just have a break!! I know lots of people that have their mums with them a lot tho!! I suppose it depends whether mums are retired or not or how much time they have! My mum still works full time running a business!!


 

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