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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    It's pretty much how this place rolls. Bubhub is just a forum, not some sort of utopia and tbh, this threads been pretty shrug worthy.
    I'm not saying it has to be a utopia, it would just be nice if every thread didn't get completely off track and turn into a smack down.

  2. #92
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    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1383744123.871468.jpg

    I thought this was a good way of looking at it

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JD Mumma For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (07-11-2013),BornToBe  (07-11-2013)

  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by CassJ View Post
    I'm not saying it has to be a utopia, it would just be nice if every thread didn't get completely off track and turn into a smack down.
    It'd be nice if we could all be grown ups, have some compassion for the person behind the screen, realise that all hubbers are going through unique experiences and be mindful of the way we word things. It's taken me a long time to come to this realisation but I'm denser than some - just be kind, hubbers, you just don't know what's up with the person you're dealing with. Walk away and have a cup of tea if you need to but treat each person like you're speaking to their face.

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    Acadaca  (07-11-2013),Annabella  (11-11-2013),NancyBlackett  (07-11-2013),peanutmonkey  (07-11-2013),RipperRita  (07-11-2013)

  6. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by misskittyfantastico View Post
    It'd be nice if we could all be grown ups, have some compassion for the person behind the screen, realise that all hubbers are going through unique experiences and be mindful of the way we word things. It's taken me a long time to come to this realisation but I'm denser than some - just be kind, hubbers, you just don't know what's up with the person you're dealing with. Walk away and have a cup of tea if you need to but treat each person like you're speaking to their face.
    I completely agree ... Buuuutttt I still don't see the issue with the OP - perhaps I'm denserer????

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    CassJ  (06-11-2013)

  8. #95
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    Quote Originally Posted by JD Mumma View Post
    Attachment 45598

    I thought this was a good way of looking at it
    Hehe, I like that

    I get help via childcare. When ds1 is at school and ds2 is at kindy it's so nice and quiet. Even if I don't do housework, groceries, gardening, anything, it's just nice to recharge.

    I honestly don't think I'd be a good mum if I didn't have a break. Yes they're my kids, yes I chose to have them but I also choose to have my sanity.

    So that's my help and I love it.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I completely agree ... Buuuutttt I still don't see the issue with the OP - perhaps I'm denserer????
    Pesonally, neither do I - I'm pretty much about the big picture these days, but I can understand how some found the tone smug. Unless you've walked in every other persons shoes, how can you know what baggage they have? Yes it's *their* baggage but it still exists and it hurts them.

    Is it the OP's problem? No. Categorically, no. But again be mindful - there are women here that don't feel so secure in their choices, those who have had their choices taken away from them.

    I dunno - maybe I'm the densest of the lot.
    Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 06-11-2013 at 23:56.

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  11. #97
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    I only have the one. Df helps somewhat around tge house in a half done rushed way that didn't meet my often ocd standards.

    I can do it myself, but 6 months of the year my mum lives here (a few weeks here, a few weeks away all year) so I don't have too though.

    I'm have also been mums carer at once ontop of normal as well while she had a broken arm, and a sprained wrist at the same time.
    Sent from my GT-S5830T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Well prior to around a post yesterday evening, no one took offence, no one assumed I was talking about them , everyone was honest in their answers (I assume) and it made interesting reading.

    Then the sh!t hit the fan. It does only take one to upset the whole apple cart . But that's ok We all know they are there

  13. #99
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    I've been thinking about this thread more. What is considered help?

    I use daycare because I don't have help. MIL lives overseas, my mum is disabled, husband has very little family here in Australia, my family live all over the country. We do have friends but they've all got their own kids. I wouldn't expect them to come over and fold my washing and I only ask them to mind my kids if absolutely desperate. I've got 3 kids and none are at school yet, so I think it's a big ask to use a friend to babysit. I do mind my friend's 2 kids every Friday, they are the same age as my older 2. She would repay the favour any time. As it turns out, we haven't needed it. I don't have any high needs kids so would probably feel different if I did. That doesn't mean my kids don't drive me crazy sometimes!

    I didn't take offence to the op, but we are also used to doing everything on our own here, so I guess I just get on with it and don't think about it.

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    Cicho  (07-11-2013)

  15. #100
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    Well it actually got me thinking reading this thread, which was started about MIL babysitting in my home

    http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/f...ome&highlight=

    It seems it is the norm for most to have mums or MIL's 'help' while they are there looking after the little ones, like fold washing, pack the dishwasher etc. To me this is not normal. I don't have a mother. I have never had anyone to 'help' me, which is why I asked!

    Suddenly the thread has gone craazzeee becase someone got offended. Prior to that post it was all good, 4 pages of responses to my question and no seemed upset about it sharing their experiences, which to me is a learning curve seeing opinions from others' persepectives.

    It wasn't meant to create offence. It was a genuine question from someone who doesn't have a motherly figure or a bond with a female relative.

    Yes, I find it too much that someone with 2 primary aged school kids (not special needs) cannot get her kids ready for school. But of course it's different with sick bubs, spewers, non sleepers, multiples etc.

    And yes, in my situation I did look after my own kids. Still do. I haven't had any other choice. My kids are bigger now but would I have liked a break, yeah sure!

    I don't see the issue with that.
    Last edited by Cicho; 07-11-2013 at 05:27.


 

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