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  1. #21
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    DD spends every other xmas at her dad, 800km away. So 1 yr is awesome, the next sucks. This yr its my turn to have an awesome yr, AND my baby is due xmas eve so hopefully DD will get to meet her sister before she's gone for 21 days.

    I understand how crappy those other yrs are though, theres nothing so empty

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    Hey .

    I won't pretend I know what you are feeling because I don't. My ds doesn't see his father ( father not interested) so I don't have to deal with it.

    What I will say to you is ..don't be jealous of their relationship...deep down they both know that they cheated and deep down they know that either of them could do it again...doesn't make for a safe , happy feeling in my book. They also can't respect each other fully as they know the other person is a cheater....

    I have seen these relationships time after time fail because relationships cannot grow without trust. not that any if that should make you feel better ,it's just a thought.
    Hey thanks

    I'm not jealous of their relationship in the slightest though. I'm really not - I'm quite happy to have them both out of my personal life... It's just my boys spending Christmas with her that bothers me. Actually it's them spending christmas with anyone but me really. Her with my ex has not emotional affect on me whatsoever.

    I don't even need them to be unhappy. Apart from the obvious my exH is actually quite a nice person so I don't need any revenge or harm his way.

    I just wish the two of them would whisk off into the sunset and I get to be a full time mummy again ... Just like I'd planned when trying to conceive them. But even that would break my heart because I know how much they love their Daddy.

    There's really no solution ... Just a broken mummy on one day.

  3. #23
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    SuperGranny is offline Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    hugs , its ok to be 'broken mummy' for one day. You are strong and together every other day, so if you need a quite moment to feel sad, that is ok. As you said, you only wanted to be a full time mummy, and others actions have cause this situation. I hope the sad time passes quickly for you. Marie.

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    sockstealingpoltergeist  (06-11-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I get what you're saying in terms of choosing how it affects me.... to be fair 364 days of the year I choose to be happy in spite of the circumstances. It's just this one day that often leads to me feeling sad and sorry for myself. I never wanted to share my kids and now against my will, because of somebody else's decision I don't get to kiss my boys goodnight 4 times a fortnight.... During those times I busy myself with things, relish in what I can do kid free, see the positives, appreciate them more when I have them, take comfort in the fact that they still have two parents who very much love them.

    But I just can't deny the fact that it absolutely breaks my heart that every Christmas night I don't get to tuck them into bed, I don't get to join in and play with their new toys Santa delivered. I don't want to put their new things away without them here - I want to explore and enjoy them with the boys.

    I'm quite happy to accept that this is my life every other day of the year - but on Christmas Day my joy walks out the door the moment my boys do.
    Have your one day then and allow yourself that non positive day, no harm in that at all

    I throw a pity party for myself way too much atm lol and I deserve it too.

    Hope it goes by real quick for you xxx

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post

    I must say even though I HAVE to share I am glad I get to wake up with them Christmas morning. Plus anyone who's familiar with my posts know that I'm an advocate for healthy eating.... But on Christmas Day I'm not bothered in the slightest how many chocolates they consume as I know I'm not dealing with the aftermath ... There's always a silver lining haha
    My parents split up when I was about 8, so each Christmas I spent half the day with each. Mornings were great...the presents under the tree, the initial excitement etc and by afternoon we'd consumed so much junk food we'd come crashing down from the sugar high haha. Christmas evening was always pretty low-key.

    I know it doesn't really help but I hope you and your boys have a wonderful Christmas morning and hopefully the afternoon and evening aren't too difficult. Do you have any friends who don't have family nearby who you could catch up with in the evening?
    Last edited by 1234Guest; 06-11-2013 at 18:26.

  7. #26
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I'm feeling really sad about it all TBH.

    Christmas is a huge event in my family and I want to spend the whole day with my children, but I won't see them for half the day I don't even get them for the first half of the day this year, it's going to feel so wrong. This is the first year of this for me.

  8. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by Witwicky View Post
    I'm feeling really sad about it all TBH.

    Christmas is a huge event in my family and I want to spend the whole day with my children, but I won't see them for half the day I don't even get them for the first half of the day this year, it's going to feel so wrong. This is the first year of this for me.
    You need some hugs too.

    Im sorry you don't get them for the first half. Any chance of you celebrating a day or two early as well, so they get two Christmases?

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    Witwicky  (07-11-2013)

  10. #28
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    Quote Originally Posted by sockstealingpoltergeist View Post
    You need some hugs too.

    Im sorry you don't get them for the first half. Any chance of you celebrating a day or two early as well, so they get two Christmases?
    Thank you

    I might look at celebrating earlier

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    sockstealingpoltergeist  (07-11-2013)

  12. #29
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    While i dont have DS going else where, i am working christmas day and will miss half the day, perhaps all of it if people dont show up for the arvo shift. Hope everyone who has kids going to their ex's enjoy their day and make it as special as they can.

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Oh TB&M, your OP made me tear up our stories are so unbelievably similar aren't they?

    This year is my first having to share DS1 (last year exDH just came to lunch with us, didn't know about the gf at the time ) and I've just started stressing about it in the past week. I'm already dreading Christmas this year - and every year - because of it.

    It's so unfair that we are forced to share our children, particularly when we've also been so wronged by our DH's. It's irrational I know, but I feel as though I'm being 'punished' for him having an affair. It should be HIM missing out, not me.

    To make it worse, it means part of the day I'll be alone while he still has his gf and new baby. I'm pretty sure he will be taking DS1 to the gf's family too since his own don't do anything...I wish I was allowed to prevent that, but alas I'm not.

    I'm trying to decide whether I would prefer DS1 with me in the morning, or afternoon/night. Any suggestions? We'll probably alternate each year and I'm thinking since he's only just turned 2, maybe I should let exDH have him Xmas eve/morning this year, so it means I get him next year when he'll be much more aware of Xmas??! It's my call to dictate terms so any advice would be appreciated.


 

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